Li'l Sweep

Twins 4 - Pasty Hose 3

Yay! Twins sweep a series. Time for the broom. But it was a small series, so it really only deserves a small broom. How about a large paintbrush?

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A day game today and no game tomorrow? Sounds like I have to get a life for the next couple evenings. Hmmm.... Nah.

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Bummer that Joey's hitting streak is over. Start a new one on Friday, ‘k?

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Thanks to FSN for airing the Squeeze Play show. I really like catching the important parts of the game, even though I already know what happened.

Boof, There It Is

Twins 3 - Sox of the White Variety 1

Wow! Boof pitched great last night. He struck out a ton (8) of batters, and the defense behind him was strong. He even made a couple nice plays himself. Nice work, honey.

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Is Nick Swisher trying to look as ugly as possible? I mean he was pretty nasty the last time we played the Sox, but now he's even worse. In addition to the ugly white-dyed goatee, there's now this weird black chinstrap thing. Yuk. I'm glad I don't have to look at that all the time.

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I'm glad Nathanator got the giving up homeruns thing out of his system when it didn't matter instead of saving it for today.

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I kind of liked having Ron Coomer in the booth with Dick. It was interesting hearing more of a batter's point of view. But I am glad Bert will be back next time.

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Didn't Kubel's homer just sound pretty when he hit it?

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My favorite play was that double-play that Delmon got when he caught Thome's fly ball up against the wall, and threw to Harris who threw out Swisher returning to first. Absolute poetry there.

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And finally, the "All Together Now" moment of the game: When Ron was reading the disclaimer ("This copyrighted telecast is presented on the authority of the Minnesota Twins...") and he started stumbling, I just recited it from memory, and finished it way before he did. At first, I was feeling all superior, being able to just say it while he has a hard time reading it. But then it hit me: who's the real dork here?

Toys for the Boys

So our guys have the evening off, and I suppose they're pretty blue. They didn't have a very good weekend, so they need something to cheer them up. And what's better to lift the spirits of a bunch of boys than toys? So I checked out amazon.com and found some fun things for them to play with.

For Nick Blackburn: You always seem so grumpy and I've never seen you smile. And that's ok, because you gotta be who you gotta be. I can't think of anything that celebrates gloominess better than this Eeyore plush.

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For Matt Tolbert: Gardy says you never stop moving around and that you're just a bundle of energy. So, to capture your personality, and to go along with the "Winnie the Pooh" theme, I chose this Tigger plush.

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For Go-Go: Everyone knows that no one is faster than you. So the only thing I can think of that can keep up with you is this Lightning McQueen toy.

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For Joey: Girls have been chasing you since you broke into the majors. I figure that if you're going to be treated like an American Idol, you may as well pretend you're an American Idol. So I chose this American Idol Recording Studio.

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For Cuddy: I'm glad you're back off the DL, but I'm still worried about your hand. I think you should protect it as much as possible while you play, so I chose these Sock'em Boppers for you.

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For Boof: Nice job on losing weight. You look great, and you should be proud. Since you have many fewer fat cells in your body, you might want to play with this Giant Microbes Fat Cell plush toy.*

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For Everyone Else (because I want to be done now): After such a downer of a game on Sunday, you all must be tense and serious. Nothing lightens things up better than lots and lots of bubbles. I chose this Gazillion Bubbles Machine.

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*I know, a plush fat cell is creepy, but this company has a whole line of creepy microbe plush toys such as syphilis, e.coli, HIV, the clap. Maybe we can send a bunch to the visitor's clubhouse.

Saturday Slugfest - Sunday Snorefest

Saturday: Twins 12 - Rangers 6
Sunday: Twins 0 - Rangers 10

Since Saturday's game was more fun, I'll talk about it first. Too bad I didn't see much of it, and didn't hear any of it. I was visiting friends, and they had the TV on in the corner for me, but it was muted. The score was 5 - 2 Rangers when I sneered and opened another beer. Then, every time I looked up, there was someone in a blue jersey missing, booting, or otherwise duffing a ball. That was fun.

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I also saw Cuddy's homer. Nice work, sweetie.

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Ahem, now today's game. Yeah, not as much fun. Is it time to start worrying about Livan? Is he beginning to remind anyone of another pitcher who looked good at first, but then wound up getting released (hint hint Ramon Ortiz)? Let's hope not; perhaps I'm just being premature.

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And finally, the "Kids Are Great" moment of the game: I think they have microphones pointing at the crowd during the broadcasts to get the "at the ballpark" feel on TV. Well, the microphone must have been pointing at some kids today, because I could hear them really clearly. For the most part, they were cheering for their team like you would expect - "Let's go [whoever's at bat]", or "Let's go Rangers", etc. But I totally laughed my head off when, while Livan was struggling, I heard them shout, "We want a pitcher, not a belly-itcher!" Me too, kids, me too. I don't know why I thought it was so funny - I guess it reminded me of "Little Big League".

Grand Slam for Nothing

Twins 5 - Rangers 6 (10)

I know everyone else in Twins Territory asked it, probably out loud, but I'm going to ask it too: Why, oh why did Gardy put Rincon in for the 10^th when Joe Nathan was warm? Why?

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A lot of stupid things happened in the game, like giving back a 5-run lead and throwing to the wrong base, but the stupidest had to be in the bottom of the 8^th when the ball went right through Mike Lamb's legs. Actually, the best part was his reaction - he must have felt like an 8 year old kid again. Fortunately, no harm was done because of it, so it's pretty funny.

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Glad to see Cuddy back.

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Are the Rangers seriously considering starting Sidney Ponson? According to the Twins website, they are. In fact, the picture of Sir Sid shows him still wearing a Twins hat.

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And finally, the "Are the Guys in the Truck Watching the Same Game?" moment of the game: In the 1^st, when Joey was up to bat with Go-Go on second, all of a sudden the scroll thing under the score banner that announces homeruns said "2-run Homerun - Mauer (1)". However, he was still at the plate at the time. In fact, he wound up walking.



Sorry about the crappy picture. I don't have HD TV, and I'm just using a digital camera because I don't have the equipment and/or knowhow to get pictures off my DVR. And yes, I'm dorky enough to record every game.

Conundrum

Wednesday: Twins 0 -- Ugly White Shoes 3
Thursday: Twins 2 -- Big Hurt's New Team eleventy billion

Which is worse? Pitching well enough to win, but can't possibly do that because the bats don't work ala Boof, or pitching like you're blindfolded, and feverish, and possibly sleepy, and can't get out of the first inning ala Franchise? For this Twins fan, it's a tough call. A loss is a loss is a loss.

There's no doubt that Boof is fine -- he knows he'll be making starts next month, and if he continues to pitch like he has been, he'll get his wins. But what, oh what, do we do with Francisco? I'm sure there will be plenty of speculation. Keep him and be patient? Send him to the bullpen? Send him down to the minors? I'm glad I don't have to make that decision.

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A big, back-handed thank you to my boss for keeping me in that meeting all afternoon sparing me the pain of listening to the first inning. Actually, I think the thank you comes from the co-workers in my neighboring cubicles as I tend to forget I'm not alone when I listen to the games. I can only imagine the swearing that would have happened.

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Thank God for girlfriends who share their wine.

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And finally, the "You'd Have Way More Credibility If You Halfway Knew What the Hell You Were Talking About, You Moron" moment of the day: Why do I listen to Barreiro after a Twins loss? In fact, why do I listen to him at all? He was talking about Francisco's bad day when he said in his smart-ass way, "I blame Mauer. Don't they say that he's supposed to call a good game?" blah, blah, blah. Ok, you idiot, it's a stupid statement to begin with -- it's not the catcher's fault if the pitcher can't throw the ball. But the fatal flaw is that REDMOND caught today. And he should know that; Redmond almost always catches a day game after a night game, and he should have remembered because he complains about it enough. *extreme eye rolling*

Earth Day in Oakland

Twins 5 - Oakland 4

The Twins traveled to sunny California to celebrate Earth Day by facing a Green Team. Luckily, Craig Monroe realized as he stepped up to the plate for his first at-bat that the A's aren't really a Green Team, but merely a team that happens to wear green. Big difference. I think the ugly white shoes tipped him off. He showed his distaste for the posers by going 3 for 4 and driving in 3. Nice work, Craig.

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Dear Go-Go,
Honey, going for the Golden Sombrero is no caliente. In fact, it is muy feo. Please avoid doing that in the future. Thanks.

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Reasons I dislike playing Oakland:

• The games are usually on after my bed time. When one is my age, one needs as much beauty sleep as one can get.


• Those blasted aforementioned white shoes. They look especially ridiculous on the players who wear tall socks because the socks are dark green. And I normally love tall socks.


• The people in the stands with the annoying horns. I know many stadiums have fans with horns, but Oakland is the only place where it bugs me so much. And I noticed a new wrinkle last night -- fans with whistles.


• Dick-n-Bert go on and on and on about the amount of foul territory there. WE KNOW!

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They have the "Ode to Joy" commercial on the Twins website now (thanks Krissy for the heads-up). I've seen it at least 25 times, and I still think it's the most hilarious thing ever. Love it, love it, love it.

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And finally, the "I got it, I got it, I got it, I ain't got it" moments of the game: How many bloop hits did the Twins get in front of Oakland's outfield -- three or four? I know they got one in front of Go-Go that he overran, but I felt much better about it when they were doing the same thing with much more regularity.

Cool Name Roster -- NL

It's another off day, so it's time for the National League version of my Cool Name Roster.

American League version is here.

A review of how it works:

• This roster is based solely on the coolness of the player's name. Actual baseball ability, attractiveness, personality, or personal-hygiene have nothing to do with it.


• The player was listed on his team's active roster at the listed position (on mlb.com) as of whenever it was I looked it up (last night). The player doesn't have to be a starter for that position.


• Fun to say trumps fun to spell. Extra consideration if it's fun to say while you're pretending to be a ballpark PA announcer.


• If a certain position's choice seems to be lame, it's because that's as good as it gets (it was kind of hard to find a cool name for a couple of positions).


• This is my list. However, I am willing to take suggestions for "bench names".

C - Yorvit Torrealba (COL)
1B - Prince Fielder (MIL)
2B - Chase Utley (PHI)
3B - Augie Ojeda (ARI)
SS - Troy Tulowitzki (COL)
LF - Wily Mo Pena (WAS)
CF - Lastings Milledge (WAS)
RF - Hunter Pence (HOU)
SP - Tim Lincecum (SF)
RP - Wilfredo Ledezma (SD)
CL - Brad Lidge (PHI)

Notes:

The National League was way harder than the American League.

I am totally bummed that Jarrod Saltalamacchia is lingering in the minor leagues. His name is both fun to say and fun to spell.

According to mlb.com's interactive player/team search feature, the Washington Nationals don't have a catcher. That must be really hard on the umpires.

Weekend with Cleveland

Friday: Twins 0 - Cleveland 4
Saturday: Twins 3 - Cleveland 0
Sunday: Twins 2 - Cleveland 1

My thoughts on Friday's game: Pew. I don't even want to remember it.

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My thoughts on Saturday's game: Well, I didn't see it. It sounded like it was a lot of fun. It actually sounded like my kind of game - great pitching and great defense. Turning four double plays is hot. I was busy enjoying a high school production of "Beauty and the Beast".

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My thoughts on today's game: Groovy. In fact, I'm so happy, I'm breaking out my bullet-points.

• Scotty pitched very nicely. I think he's going to be the strikeout leader of the team.


• Hey! A Twin not named Justin Morneau or Jason Kubel finally hit a homerun! Congrats on your first Twins homer Brendan Harris. An opposite field one, too.


• Go-Go's catch was muy caliente.
  
  


• They showed the new commercial with the pitchers singing. It was flippin' hilarious. Those commercials get better every time. It's funny that Joe Nathan, who said that the pitchers were the worst singing act ever, happened to be the very worst of them all. All the guys looked like they had a great time; Boof was especially goofy (ha ha, get it, Goofy Boof). I just checked the Twins website to see if was there, but it wasn't yet. I imagine it'll be there in the next day or two.


• They have "All you can eat night"?!? Sweet! I could bring my sons and make those dome vendors rue that idea. Trust me, my boys can really put it away when dared to. I'll have to check our schedule.


• Do you think that Justin Morneau walked up to the plate in the bottom of the 10^th signing "Here I come to save the day" ala Dudley Do-right like they say in the radio commercial? Nice work, Justin.
  
  

And finally, the "Gotta Love Dick-n-Bert" moment of the game (double):
1) In the bottom of the 10^th, with Jason Kubel at the plate:
Dick: [something like] "They don't want to walk Kubel here."
Bert: "Sure they do. Then they know where he's at."
2) Again in the bottom of the 10^th, with Justin Morneau at the plate, Dick was going on and on, carrying on both sides of a conversation over whether Jason Kubel should take second "his run doesn't matter, but it might take the bat out of Morneau's hand, but if they get to two strikes, they might have to think about it...." Turned out it didn't matter.

*Yahhhhwwn*

Twins 3 - Rays 7

That game was so boring, I don't really have much to say.

Boof looked like the 2007 version.

Bats were quiet.

At least Guerrier and Neshek are back to their old selves. Pat-Pat was flinging his arms all over the place, just the way we like it. However, I'm not sure I like Matty's new clean-cut look. He kinda looks like his dad dragged him out to the garage and took the clippers to him -- "we're cutting that mop off, ya hippie."

It's Friday, and I don't feel like working. Good thing I've got my 24oz High-Energy Mocha with a shot of Caffeine Blast coffee from HolidayStation.

Hair Twisting Game

Twins 6 - (Don't Call Them Devil) Rays 5

Whew. Like many gals, I twist my hair when I'm nervous. Being a Twins fan has caused a permanent twist in my hair. And not a fashionable French twist, but more of a McDonald's Fry Kid look. This game was one of those games where I would twist it when the Rays scored, undo it when we went ahead, twist it when they tied it up, undo when we went ahead, then twist it until it almost came out of my head when Joe Nathan was on the mound. Who needs a perm when there's Twins baseball?

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Joey Mauer was sure fun to watch. Going 3 for 4 and throwing out 2 would-be basestealers is hot.

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I was very conflicted when Barty committed that throwing error that allowed two Twins runs. I always liked him, and I want him to do well with his new team. But, Twins runs are more important to me, so I was happy.

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Speaking of Barty, there's one thing I always wanted to know about him. What does the tattoo on his forearm say? I remember trying to figure it out last year, but I never got it. And I saw it again last night.

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Debate of the day: When Carl Crawford made that diving catch in foul territory to allow Delmon Young to score, was it really a mistake? At the time, I agreed with Dick-n-Bert and thought that he should have allowed it to drop and given his pitcher another chance to get the batter out. However, hubby thought he made the right play because you should always try to get the out. Afterall, how would have been if the batter would have got a base hit on the next pitch? I guess he makes a good point. All I know is that it worked out in favor of the Twins, and that's all I really care about.

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And finally, the "I Think My Brains Hurt" moment of the game: At one point, a Twins batter (I forget who) fouled a ball that smacked Scott Ullger in the right butt cheek. Ouch. Too bad their new helmets don't cover up that part.

*Sigh*

Twins 5 - Tigers 6

I'm not in the mood to blog about the Twins tonight. It's getting tiresome being all happy watching games just to have all the good feelings get sucked right out. I don't really blame anyone; afterall, it's a long season. I'm just really tired. And maybe a bit crabby.

But I did promise my buddy Duch that I would root for the Wild. So, GO WILD!

[pretend there's a Wild logo here]

Un-flippin-believable

Twins 9 - Detroit 11 ugly, ugly, ugly, UGLY

What the hell does Nick Blackburn have to do to get a win? He pitched out his mind for the first 5 innings, struggled a bit in the 6^th, but still left with the lead. Is the bullpen mad at him? Perhaps the Twins shouldn't have Guerrier and Neshek relieve him anymore. It's becoming an unfavorable trend.

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Speaking of Neshek, mini-bro noticed that his delivery is different than it used to be. He's right. Before, when Pat released the ball, his arm would fly up over his head. I remember this because BatGirl once described it as "he ends in the ‘Neshek Salute!' raising his hand to the ball to thank it for all it has done for him and wish it well on its travels". Now, his arm flies more to the side, as if he's slapping it in the face.

Dear Pat,

Perhaps the ball doesn't like you slapping it around so much. Please fix that. I fear that if you keep it up, they'll put you on an episode of "Cops". Or, more likely, they'll put me on an episode of "Cops".

Law-abidingly (for now),
k-bro.

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Denard Span sure wanted to make a good impression. He showed good patience at the plate, going 2 for 4 with a walk, and making two (almost three) great plays in the field. And the missed catch that went for a homerun was forgivable - it was a great effort, and would have been an unbelievable play if he had made it. I liked how his teammates, especially Matt Guerrier, encouraged him between innings. Too bad the Twins wound up needing that run.

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Does anyone else think that Jeremy Bonderman looks like an earthworm?

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And finally, the "Make Sure You Run That Way" moment of the game:

Royal Weekend

Twins 1 - Royals 5
Twins take series 2 - 1

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Liriano's return was exactly as I expected because, well, I didn't expect much. Some will say it was a success; some will say he needed more time in the minors. I'm willing to be patient. I think it's fine that he's up with the major league team; he may as well get his work in here. But it's unreasonable to expect that he'll be back to his old self just yet. It'll take time for him to work up to that level. We, and he, need to be patient. And that's ok by me.

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On the other hand, Boof and Livan have been surprisingly fun to watch. I was happy that Boof finally got the run support yesterday to win. Keep it up, guys.

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I feel bad that I professed my admiration of the Twins cool stocking caps. They've had to wear them so often lately, I'm sure they're tired of it. And they probably won't be able to get rid of them in Detroit. It looks like it's supposed to be chilly the next couple of evenings.

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And finally, the "Fall Down, Turn Around, Get the Ball and Throw" moment of the weekend (from Saturday's game): That play where Everett hit the ball into Tomko's leg, and then Tomko backhanded it to Gload, who did a bellyflop to catch it to get the out was just crazy. Sometimes the other team makes fun plays too I guess.

I didn't really find anything "moment-worthy" from today's game, but I was kind of doing a bunch of other things while the game was on, so I wasn't giving it my undivided attention.

Good Evening for MN Sports

Livan had another good game. And so did Tolbert, Span, Go-Go, and Justin. At least that's according to the box scores. The game wasn't on tv. But I didn't mind, because the Wild were on. Playoff hockey is pretty fun, especially when the Wild win. It was a pretty cool game, but a little too roller-coaster for me. I'd like it better if the Wild got the lead early and kept it. I like when the Twins do that too, which they did.

Since there wasn't a game to watch, I don't have a "moment of the game". However, I do have a substitute...

And finally, the "You'd Think the Twins Would Keep Closer Track of Their Players" moment of the day: Earlier today, I visited the Twins website, and off to the side, they had a video clip of Kubel's grand slam on Wednesday. Too bad he hit it against the Red Sox while the rest of the Twins were playing the White Sox.

Nothing to Do

With no game last night, and for some reason half my cable channels weren't working, I caught up on reading all the Sports Illustrated magazines I have laying around.

In last week's issue, Joe Nathan was featured in the "Pop Culture Grid". They list four players from various sports and ask them random questions that have pretty short answers. They put the answers in a grid format. Here's what our guy said:

Q: Gossip story that still facinates you.
A: Talk to my wife.

Q: Favorite thing to chew.
A: Steak.

Q: Favorite thing to microwave.
A: Grandma's leftovers.

Q: Car you're dying to test-drive.
A: Livan Hernandez's Lamborghini.

Q: Worst signing act ever.
A: The Twins in our recent commercial shoot.

I am soooo looking forward to that new commercial.

Dear Livan:

Honey, k-bro wants a ride in your fancy car. Paleeeze.

Love,

k-bro

Baker's Dozen

Twins 12 - Chicago 5

Scotty looked really good last night, even though he started to make a habit of giving up lead off homeruns. It doesn’t matter as much when you’re the pitcher of record when your team scores 12 runs. Very nice to see life in the bats.
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The boys looked so adorable in their stocking caps. I need to get me one of those.


And who knows? Maybe if I buy myself a stocking cap, Mother Nature will spite me and change the weather so I can’t wear it. We can only hope.
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I totally called Jason Kubel’s grand slam. Bert was calling for a gapper, “that’s what the Twins want him to do; hit a gapper.” And I said, “Kubes, you can do better than that.” Yup. My good.
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A.J. Pierzynski is the only catcher I know who has a hard time catching intentional walks. We’ve all seen a ton of intentional walks over the years, but A.J. is the only one who has to jump/dive/leap/run around in order to catch them. Is it him or his pitchers?
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Who replaced the Twins with the Stooges in the 6^th? Don’t do that again.
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My Web-Gem regardless of what ESPN says: Go-Go’s crazy-ass diving catch in the 1^st. Very hot.
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And finally, the “Someone Please Hit a Foul Ball Right into That Guy’s Mouth” moment of the game: In the 9^th, there was this jackass in the stands heckling the Twins. You could really hear him because the most of the rest of the crowd was gone by then. It was most noticeable right after Lammers got hurt. This guy’s most brilliant taunt (with Everett up to bat and Go-Go in the on-deck circle): “Gomez, we don’t want to see you doing a jig.” What does that even mean?

Cool Name Roster -- AL

For the first off day of the season, I thought I'd share my annual American League Cool-Name Roster.

Here's how it works:

• This roster is based solely on the coolness of the player's name. Actual baseball ability, attractiveness, personality, or personal-hygiene have nothing to do with it.


• The player was listed on his team's active roster at the listed position (on mlb.com) as of whenever it was I looked it up (a couple days ago). The player doesn't have to be a starter for that position.


• Fun to say trumps fun to spell. Extra consideration if it's fun to say while you're pretending to be a ballpark PA announcer.


• If a certain position's choice seems to be lame, it's because that's as good as it gets (it was kind of hard to find a cool name for a couple of positions).


• This is my list. However, I am willing to take suggestions for "bench names".

C - Kenji Johjima (SEA)
1B - Morgan Ensberg (NYY) [seems more like a librarian's name than a baseball player's]
2B - Placido Polanco (DET)
3B - Marco Scutaro (TB)
SS - Edgar Renteria (DET)
LF - Frank Catalanotto (TEX) [isn't he that guy who does John Madden impersonations? jk]
CF - Coco Crisp (BOS)
RF - Nick Markakis (BAL)
DH - Jack Cust (OAK)
SP - Boof Bonser (MIN)
RP - Jimmy Gobble (KC)
CL - Huston Street (OAK)

Next off day: National League

Mea Culpa

That was a bummer! I mean an incredibly, horribly, craptasticly nasty bummer. And I take full responsibility. I was confident. I had hubris. I challenged the baseball gods. And they made our bullpen pay.

I foolishly sent an email to my boss, who grew up in Chicago, bragging that the Twins were leading and the bullpen would surely pin down the win. Ouch. I know, I know. I'm sorry. My bad. Lesson learned. Won't happen again.




My Dearest Matt and Pat;

While I do admit some fault for the sudden life in the bats of the White Sox, did you have to allow the bases to be full for Joe Crede? I mean, really?

Disappointedly,

k-bro

And finally, the "What the Hell Did He Just Say" moment of the game: Ozzie Guillen was tossed from the game in the third for arguing balls and strikes. According to John and Dazzle, he was really hollering. I would've loved to hear that. Ozzie's hard enough to understand when he's calm; I can only imagine how crazy it sounded when he was hopping mad.

Week 1 -- Check

Well, at least the Twins won the series this time, which is better than the Tigers can say (har har). Boof did a nice job, but the bats were just a little too quiet - except for Justin's - to give him a chance. Did it seem like the Twins struck out looking a lot today? I thought so, but maybe I overreacted.

Clearly Justin finally got pissed off about everyone asking him about his slump, because he's sure hitting the snot out of the ball lately. Just a reminder: hitting the snot out of the ball is a good thing, so keep it up.

Now that the first week has passed, I have a couple opinions:

• Carlos Gomez is a lot more fun to watch than I thought he would be. I sure hope it lasts. I was bummed to hear that he doesn't qualify as a rookie.


• I'm really bummed about Cuddy's hand. The descriptions of the injury sound really icky. I hope he heals quickly.


• I'm impressed with Delmon's arm. I *heart* outfield assists. He needs a nickname. Hmmm - I'll have to put some thought into it.


• For some reason, Matt Tolbert reminds me of David Eckstein, only bigger.
  
  

And of course, Happy Birthday to Bert! I think he likes his birthday almost as much as I like mine. But I never get to go to a baseball game on my birthday. *pout*

And finally, the "I'm the Umpire and I Don't Like Dodge" moment of the game: With one out in the bottom of the ninth, the third-base umpire requested that the advertising banner behind home plate be changed. Reportedly, he didn't like it because it was white (it was a Dodge ad). Umm, I don't think there are that many different ads rolling through that banner, so it was probably there off-and-on for the whole game. Whatever.

Now That's Better

It was good game. Of course, every win is a good game. A rundown of my thoughts by inning:

1^st The picture-in-picture view shall from now on be known as "Go-Go Cam".
2^nd The new manager for the Royals looks like Billy Bob Thornton.
2^nd I wonder if Go-Go has a rug burn on his bum from sliding around centerfield.
2^nd That Telly guy is new, isn't he? I mean new to broadcasting. Of any kind.
3^rd Sure, Justin gets his hit and RBI, and Cuddy gets hurt. Please be ok Cuddyhoney.
4^th Oh Adam, what a squeeze.

[Then I sat with my son, mini-bro, and spent time looking at his baseball cards. We had some laughs looking some of the cards from the '80s and early '90s -- he found Storm Davis as a Royal, which was a hoot. We were still watching the Twins game, but not intently. But then again, nothing terribly exciting happened anyways.]

9^th "Joe, no interesting!" (I always say that when he takes the mound). "Good. Good. Crap. Ok, no MORE interesting. C'mon Joe. Joe, please. YES!"

Finally, the "Let Me Make Sure I Have All My Teeth" moments of the game:
Either in the seventh or eighth, the home plate umpire suffered a direct-hit foul ball off the mask. Hard. Then in the ninth, same thing happened to Joe Mauer. That's gotta hurt!

P.S. to Cuddyhoney: I can't say this enough -- please, please, please be ok!

The Beast

Twins 0 - Angels 1

Amongst the Twins bats lives a beast who shows up from time to time to feed on men on base. And the beast was hungry last night; in fact it was a gluttonous pig, chowing four times in 2 1/2 hours as if Twins base runners were Lay's potato chips. This insatiable, greedy beast's lack of willpower caused Nick Blackburn, who pitched brilliantly (as if he's been a big league starter for much more than five minutes), to suffer the loss on a stupid wild pitch. The beast's name? GIDP.
My web-gems, regardless of what ESPN says:

1. LNP's horizontal barehanded catch-throw to first in the 9th.


2. Justin Morneau's diving knock-down then flip back to Blackburn in the 5th.

(Turns out ESPN concurred: my #2 was their #3, and my #1 was their #1.)

And finally, the "Gotta Love Bert" moment of the game (ok, I didn't really intend this to be a daily thing, but I can't resist this one):

"One ringy-dingy" (referring to a foul-tip that hit the Angels catcher where no man wants to be hit).

Two Left Feet

Twins 1 -- LAA 9

That pretty much bit. We all know it bit. The Twins all know it bit. Everyone knows why it bit. Let's move on.

Except Delmon Young. Delmon honey, you're doing just fine; keep it up.

A couple of (very dim) bright spots:

• It was good to see Jesse Crain again


• It was good to see Brendan Harris make a nice defensive play (too bad he errored later)


• It was good to see Adam Everett get an RBI (too bad it was the only one)

Finally: The "Gotta Love Bert" moment of the game:

"We're not here to kiss each other."