The Good, The Good Byes, The Hellos, The Floss

Twins 4 - Indians 1

Good job, Nick Blackburn. That was a hellava pitching performance. However, I was worrying at the beginning because that Sowers guy was turning in a hellava-er pitching performance for the first five innings. Thank goodness Brendan Harris was tired of it and hit that double to end the madness.

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I must admit that I'm a bit bummed to see Livan and Monroe go. I don't disagree with the decision, but I feel bad anyways. They both seemed like classy guys who really wanted to do well. It's just too bad it didn't work out. I sincerely hope they can hook on with other teams and have success.

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My very first impression of Randy Ruiz: "That's a biiig boy." But I loved watching him chug around the bases and scoring from first on Brendan's other double. He's pretty fast for a big fella. So far, watching him play made me smile, so that's good. I hope the pop in his bat matches his size.

I would love to see him plow into a catcher on a play at the plate. The catcher would have no chance -- no chance at all.

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I know everyone is tickled pink that Franchise finally made it here. Everyone except me -- paint me more a shade of cautiously optimistic. I don't dispute that it's time to give him a chance, I just don't think he's going to be the phenom he was in 2006. I'm hoping for solid performances out of him.

Dear Fransico, please feel free to go ahead and prove me wrong. Be the Phenom.

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So, I've made a spur of the moment decision to go to tonight's game. I wish I could go tomorrow to see Franchise, but I'm too busy. So I'll get to see Slowey tonight, and get myself a Dairy Queen Twins Cap. Not that I need another Twins cap, but it never hurts to have more than you need.

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I love Mike Redmond even more than I did before after reading JoeC's blog.

I asked Harris if anybody says anything like that on the bench.
“Red does,” Harris said. “He says, ‘Fifth inning’s a mother.’ ”

Ok, you just know that's not exactly what he says -- I'm guessing he adds another word to the end. Which makes that statement more hilarious, and accurate.

So what happened in the sixth?
“Rally floss,” Redmond said.
Yes, in a practice that dates to 2006, Redmond started flossing on the bench when it was time for the boys to rally against Sowers.

So, clearly, everyone needs to get himself/herself some rally floss. I think it should be the next stadium giveaway. It could be sponsored by the American Dental Association.

T.G.I.J.! (Thank Goodness It's Justin)

Tuesday: Twins 6 - White Sox 5

I like it when the Twins win. I like knowing that, if they should fall behind, there's a good chance they can rally and win. Which is a different feeling than last year. Last year, if they were behind by the fourth or fifth inning, I just watched something else. Last night I didn't do that, and I'm glad. They made it totally worth sticking around for.

I especially loved how just when Dick-n-Bert were mentioning that Ozzie said that Justin was the most dangerous batter in the American League, Justin goes and proves the point by smacking a bases-clearing double to take the lead. Yay Justin!

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We say "Goodbye", and we say "Hello":

So just when I was going to bid adieu to Adam "Adam" Everett by talking about how he pretty much got "Wally Pipp'ed" out of a job and how I felt kind of bad about that because he seems like a pretty likable guy, if not really a great hitter, and to wish him the best of luck with whatever he decided to do, I have to pull back because he's needed after all.

And for what? Another stinking hand injury. It seem Alexi Casilla tore his thumb ligament and might be out for a long time. **sigh** I feel really bad for Alexi, but come on! Enough is Enough!

I wonder if MLB will allow the Twins trainers to purchase a couple dozen bionic hands.

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Pitcherstress:

A co-worked asked me if I was nervous about tonight's game. I said, "Yes. Livan's pitching." And another co-worker chimed in with, "Are you having pitcher-stress?" YES! That's it exactly.

Dear Livan,

Honey, please, oh please, don't stress me out tonight. Please keep your Earned Run total for the evening as minuscule as possible. Zero would be ideal.

Love,

k-bro

Fired Up!

Twins 2 - Nationals 1

I need to make this quick this evening. It's late, I'm exhausted, and I need to get some sleep.

But I wanted to fire off a couple things that are on my mind...

I'm fired up (in the happy way) that Livan had a great performance tonight and the Twins won. He must have meant it when he said that he wanted to do better.

I'm fired up (in the annoyed way) that MLB fined Gardy for "failing to comply with pace of game regulations" last weekend. What? O.M.G. So the umpire makes a questionable call that he has to know will bring the manager out to argue, and the league fines the manager for slowing down the game? I have an idea -- how about the umpires refrain from baiting the players and managers, and that would help a lot. Ridiculous.

I'm fired up (also in the annoyed way) at ESPN's BBTN. They were going over the best web gems of the first half of the season, and our own Nicky Punto was number 1. To be honest, I don't really remember that particular game, but he was playing third base and we were facing the Angels (I think). Anyways, he did one of his patented super-hero, horizontal, diving, simultaneous catch-throw things. It was awesome. But I got fired up when one of the bone-headed former-athlete announcers said something like "What ever happened to him? If he's still in the majors, he's got to be doing that all the time." To which I screamed at the TV "He's on the DL you moron! And when he does play, he DOES do that all the time! Way to know your stuff, dip-[bleep]!!!"

I'm fired up (in an amused way) at our favorite MLB owner, Hank Steinbrenner. He blasted the National League rules after Chien-Ming Wang hurt his foot running the bases. How big of an ego do you have to have to: 1) honestly believe that a freak accident is really a conspiracy against his team, and 2) the rest of the MLB needs to change the rules just for the benefit of his team? What a piece of work.

I Know They Can Hear Me

I’m alone in the house, so it’s a perfect time to talk to the TV as the game goes. I’ll keep track – that is until someone comes home and I have to stop talking (the other members of the household just don’t get it).

Top 1: (First pitch, ball) That doesn’t bode well.
I see Livan really likes the pixie vests.
(A-Rod homers) Crappola!
(Matsui gets a base hit) Stop with the giving up of the hits already!

Top 2: (Moeller strikes out on the slow curve) Ni-iiice! I love that pitch!
What’s going on with the pitchers growing beards? I noticed that Blackburn was scruffy (we saw enough close-ups of his face), and now Livan is scruffy. Are they growing homer-less beards too?
(Wild pitch) Who the hell are you throwing that to? The guy on deck?
I wonder if that new Get Smart movie will be good? It kinda sounds like fun.

Bottom 2: (Cuddy gets a base hit) Yay Cuddy! So maybe the beard is lucky after all.
Hmmm. Delmon’s hitting pretty good lately.

Top 3: (Harris makes a nice play to get Giambi out) Ooh. Nice play.
Doesn’t it seem like Morneau’s getting to be better defensively all the time? He’s really a very good first baseman.

Bottom 3: (Macri at the plate) Oh, it’s pronounced ma-CREE? All the times I’ve read his name, I didn’t pronounce it that way in my head.
(Pettitte throws wildly to first allowing Go-Go to go-go to third) Go-Go runs so fast, his helmet can’t even keep up.
(Alexi bunts Go-Go home and is safe at first) Yes! When did Alexi get good at baseball?

Top 6: (Delmon misses two fly balls this gal thinks he should have caught and Yankees take the lead) Oh, for crying out loud Delmon!

Top 7: (Umpire blows yet another call in the Yankees’ favor allowing them to go ahead again) How much are the Yankee’s paying you Mr. Umpire? (among other profanity-laced rants I shouldn’t post because my mother reads this

Bottom 7: Hey, Joey is clean-shaven. Whoa! JOEY HIT A HOMERUN!!! And he had a look of “whew” on his face as he went back to the dugout. Cute.

Now everyone is home again, so I have to act like a real human being again. But I can still converse in my head.

Top 8: (Cuddy throws out Jeter at second) I **heart** Cuddy’s arm! What were you thinking running on Cuddy’s arm you fool?

Bottom 8: (Cuddy hits a nice double) Cuddy! I swoon for you.
(Delmon doubles driving in Cuddy and going ahead) Delmon, I love you again.
(Delmon gets caught stealing third) Ok Delmon, I take it back.
(Go-Go strikes out swinging, again) Go-Go honey, you need to learn some patience.

Top 9: (Nathan takes the mound) Joe, no interesting! (said out loud, because I always say that out loud when Joe takes the mound)
(Nathan gives up a hit) Joe, No. More. Interesting.
(Casilla to Harris to Morneau) YES!
**clapping wildly** Joe. No. Interesting!
YES!!!!!


Twins 6 – Yankees 5
Series split 2 games each

Flat in the Mountains

Friday: Twins 4 - Rockies 2
Saturday: Twins 2 - Rockies 3
Sunday: Twins 2 - Rockies 6

Well, at least this time we don't have to get the dustbunnies out. But seriously, I think we could have done better. Maybe the boys were tired. Maybe it was the thin air. Maybe it was the humidor balls. Who knows, but it just seemed like they were kind of flat.

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Friday's game was kind of fun, and it was nice to break up that little losing streak. But Nathonator once again made it waaaay too interesting. Luckily, Go-Go made that nice catch to end the game. Too bad it cost him starting the next two games. And doesn't it seem that if Go-Go isn't in the game, the Twins just aren't the same team? Has anyone figured out what our record is with him in versus without him in? (I know I could probably figure it out myself, but I don't wanna. Besides, chances are that someone else already has, and why double the effort?)

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Saturday's game was pretty good until I started paying attention. Sorry. I guess Livan had a perfect game going through the fifth. Of course, right when I got home and turned on the TV, I saw Justin Morneau try to catch Matt Holliday's foul ball that could have been called fan interference but wasn't. Then he doubled, and that was pretty much the end of the perfect game, eventually the shutout, and then the lead.

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And another thing, while being taking a perfect game through five innings is terrific, especially for a contact-type pitcher like Livan, I think that the KARE11 sports team needs to settle down. They teased the coverage by saying something like "Hernandez flirts with perfection." Um, five innings isn't "flirting" with perfection. Eight, or maybe even seven, innings is flirting. Five innings is looking up from the end of the bar and noticing that perfection keeps looking over at you. You're not even thinking about buying it a drink yet after five.

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I missed today's game because I was at a youth baseball tournament. (Yes, I was freezing. Thanks for asking.) I listened to the post-game coverage on the radio after we were done, and from the sound of Gardy's reaction to the game, I think the 11 and 12-year-olds I watched play had a more polished game than our Twins.

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Excuse me, yes, I'd like to order a round of bubble wrap for the remaining healthy players please.



Let's assess the most recent damage:

• Matt "Tigger" Tolbert is on the DL for shredding his thumb sliding head-first into first. Poor guy; he was beginning to make a good impression, and now this. And the extent of the injury (ligament damage) sounds like it's going to take quite a bit more than a 15-day recovery.


• Then there's Go-Go's catch into the wall that tweaked his wrist. According to the Twins website, there's a real possibility that he'll land on the DL as well.


• Plus, Joey's got a crick in his neck.

Adorable

Twins 7 - The Team That Calls Itself World Champions 3
Twins take series 3-1

So, most of us had a choice last night. What did you decide? The ESPN yahoos or our lovable Dick-n-Bert? Me? I chose Dick-n-Bert. I guess I just like familiarity. And I think I made a good choice. Did ESPN show shots of Boof unraveling a baseball? I doubt it. But our guys stuck with the story until conclusion and Boof got to the core of the matter.

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Up until the seventh, Boof's unwrapping adventure was the most adorable moment of the game. Then Cuddy did his little juggling magic trick pulling a baseball out of his hat. That play will probably be the most adorable moment of the whole season. And Dick laughing about it was almost as adorable.

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In fact, the whole game was pretty much adorable. Coming from behind is adorable. Stringing hits together for runs is adorable. And even though giving up three runs in the first isn't so much adorable, settling down and not allowing any more might be. However, catching a screaming liner and stinging your hand is adorable. And, in a weird way, watching the opposing pitcher throw a temper tantrum is adorable. In fact, in honor of all the adorableness, I'll post this adorable picture.

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It seems that Livan likes the pixie vests - he's two for two at home with them. I guess if he keeps getting these results, I'll get used to them.

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A non-adorable moment was when Delmon rolled his ankle running the basepaths. Fortunately, it doesn't sound like it's too serious. I hope he'll be fine.

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And finally, the "even though it happened to a division rival, it's still really cool" moment of the day: Last night, Asdrubal Cabrera of the Cleveland Indians completed an unassisted triple play. It's like only the 14th in major league history. Pretty groovy.

Unexpectations

Twins 11 - Tigers 1

Ok, I have to admit that during the pre-game, I was really worried about this game. They were talking about how the Tigers have been playing well lately (notice that I didn't say "as of late" - that's another topic all together*), ever since the last time they played the Twins. And Livan was pitching, and we all know what happened last time he did that. To top it off, they were wearing the ridiculous pixie vests. In my mind, all this added up to a feeling of dread. Luckily, my instincts were way off. And if it turns out that the pixie vests were the good luck charms, well I guess I'm willing to give them another chance. It'll be interesting to see if Livan is superstitious.

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My Dearest Go-Go,
Please be ok.
Love, k-bro

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Speaking of Go-Go's injury, I was really impressed that Pudge marched out there to make sure he was ok. It even looked like the umpire tried to stop him, but he would have none of that.

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My favorite thing about the game: Livan's 61 mph curveball falling in for a strike.

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Sad news about Gardy's brother. It reminds me that I need to remember what's important in my life. Extra hugs and kisses for my family this weekend.

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And finally, the "Ain't No Way You Can Get Me To Say That Word On Air Again" moment of the game: Dick-N-Bert were talking about Miguel Cabrera's reaction to the aforementioned 61 mph curveball. Apparently he didn't like it and told Livan so. Dick said something about not knowing how to read lips and not knowing Spanish, but pretty sure he still knew what he said. And then Bert said, "I'm not gonna say it, you say it." Heh heh.

*Why do sportscasters feel the need to say "as of late" when they mean "lately"? No one else says "as of late" ("Hey Jim, what've you been up to as of late?" "Well Bob, not much, but as of late Joyce has been nagging me to take her on a cruise."). What's wrong with "lately"? It's a perfectly nice word, and not as snooty.

Saturday Slugfest - Sunday Snorefest

Saturday: Twins 12 - Rangers 6
Sunday: Twins 0 - Rangers 10

Since Saturday's game was more fun, I'll talk about it first. Too bad I didn't see much of it, and didn't hear any of it. I was visiting friends, and they had the TV on in the corner for me, but it was muted. The score was 5 - 2 Rangers when I sneered and opened another beer. Then, every time I looked up, there was someone in a blue jersey missing, booting, or otherwise duffing a ball. That was fun.

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I also saw Cuddy's homer. Nice work, sweetie.

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Ahem, now today's game. Yeah, not as much fun. Is it time to start worrying about Livan? Is he beginning to remind anyone of another pitcher who looked good at first, but then wound up getting released (hint hint Ramon Ortiz)? Let's hope not; perhaps I'm just being premature.

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And finally, the "Kids Are Great" moment of the game: I think they have microphones pointing at the crowd during the broadcasts to get the "at the ballpark" feel on TV. Well, the microphone must have been pointing at some kids today, because I could hear them really clearly. For the most part, they were cheering for their team like you would expect - "Let's go [whoever's at bat]", or "Let's go Rangers", etc. But I totally laughed my head off when, while Livan was struggling, I heard them shout, "We want a pitcher, not a belly-itcher!" Me too, kids, me too. I don't know why I thought it was so funny - I guess it reminded me of "Little Big League".

Royal Weekend

Twins 1 - Royals 5
Twins take series 2 - 1

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Liriano's return was exactly as I expected because, well, I didn't expect much. Some will say it was a success; some will say he needed more time in the minors. I'm willing to be patient. I think it's fine that he's up with the major league team; he may as well get his work in here. But it's unreasonable to expect that he'll be back to his old self just yet. It'll take time for him to work up to that level. We, and he, need to be patient. And that's ok by me.

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On the other hand, Boof and Livan have been surprisingly fun to watch. I was happy that Boof finally got the run support yesterday to win. Keep it up, guys.

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I feel bad that I professed my admiration of the Twins cool stocking caps. They've had to wear them so often lately, I'm sure they're tired of it. And they probably won't be able to get rid of them in Detroit. It looks like it's supposed to be chilly the next couple of evenings.

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And finally, the "Fall Down, Turn Around, Get the Ball and Throw" moment of the weekend (from Saturday's game): That play where Everett hit the ball into Tomko's leg, and then Tomko backhanded it to Gload, who did a bellyflop to catch it to get the out was just crazy. Sometimes the other team makes fun plays too I guess.

I didn't really find anything "moment-worthy" from today's game, but I was kind of doing a bunch of other things while the game was on, so I wasn't giving it my undivided attention.

Good Evening for MN Sports

Livan had another good game. And so did Tolbert, Span, Go-Go, and Justin. At least that's according to the box scores. The game wasn't on tv. But I didn't mind, because the Wild were on. Playoff hockey is pretty fun, especially when the Wild win. It was a pretty cool game, but a little too roller-coaster for me. I'd like it better if the Wild got the lead early and kept it. I like when the Twins do that too, which they did.

Since there wasn't a game to watch, I don't have a "moment of the game". However, I do have a substitute...

And finally, the "You'd Think the Twins Would Keep Closer Track of Their Players" moment of the day: Earlier today, I visited the Twins website, and off to the side, they had a video clip of Kubel's grand slam on Wednesday. Too bad he hit it against the Red Sox while the rest of the Twins were playing the White Sox.

Nothing to Do

With no game last night, and for some reason half my cable channels weren't working, I caught up on reading all the Sports Illustrated magazines I have laying around.

In last week's issue, Joe Nathan was featured in the "Pop Culture Grid". They list four players from various sports and ask them random questions that have pretty short answers. They put the answers in a grid format. Here's what our guy said:

Q: Gossip story that still facinates you.
A: Talk to my wife.

Q: Favorite thing to chew.
A: Steak.

Q: Favorite thing to microwave.
A: Grandma's leftovers.

Q: Car you're dying to test-drive.
A: Livan Hernandez's Lamborghini.

Q: Worst signing act ever.
A: The Twins in our recent commercial shoot.

I am soooo looking forward to that new commercial.

Dear Livan:

Honey, k-bro wants a ride in your fancy car. Paleeeze.

Love,

k-bro

Right Foot

Well, how much fun was that?

Torii was warmly welcomed, but o-fered.

Livan had a nice strong outing.

Go-Go got some hits and caused chaos on the basepaths.

Joey and Cuddy-honey drove in some runs.

Neshek sat them down.

Nathanator slammed the door.

I'd like to order 161 more of those games, please.

Babyface Moment of the Game:

When Brendan Harris stepped up to the plate, I said, "Why is Scott Baker batting?" I guess I still have to learn everyone's faces.

Miscellany Medley

I really like the Twins new commercial with Delmon Young. It's my favorite so far. Their ad agency is very clever. However, I have the tiniest of problems. I don't mean to be a clod, but can someone please tell me what Tony Oliva is saying? I've rewound it about 25 times, and I still can't figure it out. I get the gist - "See ball. Hit ball. Something something something big stick" (or is it big steak?). I feel like I'd appreciate it even more if I knew more than the gist and actually knew the words.

Will someone please FedEx an industrial-sized case of Lysol to Fort Meyers and commission a HAZMAT team to clean that clubhouse? First, Rick Anderson had the flu. Then Scottie Baker, who's still fighting it, came down with it - and I mean "down"; he's lost 12 pounds. Now Adam Everett is feeling crappy. Put a stop to it now.

GoGo tweaked his hammy in today's game, but he should be fine according to Joe C. He goes on to say:

Gomez had cramping in his left hamstring, nothing more, and practically begged Gardenhire to make Thursday's trip to Sarasota, Fla. Gardenhire agreed but told Gomez he'd be furious is something more serious happens to his leg.

Heh. Gardy furious, huh? Well, I can't imagine that ever happening.

So, I suppose I need to go out and buy Livan some soccer shoes. Apparently he kicked a bunted ball in the air to Morneau for the out. Howard recaps it nicely. I heard it on the radio, and I thought John Gordon was going to flip. I really hope I can see video of it sometime.

(Click pic to enlarge) I am really looking forward to Opening Day. But I have a glimmer of melancholy that Spring Training will soon be over. Mainly because most of the games take place during the day, and listening to them has been the highlight of my workday. Once the season starts, I'll have to resort to streaming JACK-FM again. Which, by the way, is beginning to wear on me - I'm about ready to go find that annoying disembodied-voice dude and push him down.

Monday Tidbits

• Livan Hernandez didn’t look good yesterday, and Francisco Liriano struggled again today. I was really hoping they’d have strong outings, if for no other reason than to calm my worries about our starting rotation. But alas, the worrying continues. Guys, if you’re reading this (and even if you’re not), please get better. Fast. Thanks.


• I do not envy Gardy’s job of having to decide who will start in centerfield. It looks like it’s between Carlos Gomez and Denard Span, but Craig Monroe can’t be excluded either. While no one will be a rock star, all three have great things to offer. Personally, I like Go Go Gomez, because he’s just so darned fun to watch, with Monroe off the bench and filling in from time to time.


• Speaking of centerfield…. I was doing a crossword puzzle, and the word for “gate to a Japanese shrine” was “Torii”. I never knew that. When I looked it up on Wikipedia, I recognized the structure, but I didn’t know until then what it was called. I wish I knew that before, but I’m not sure why.


• Dear Bill Smith: I respectfully request that you re-sign Joe Nathan to a long-term contract. Very long term. Love, k-bro.

Cups, Veggies, and Puppets

Some thoughts about spring training so far...

• I guess the Twins and the Red Sox were serious about competing for the coveted Mayor's Cup. Both teams started what looked to be close approximations of their Opening Day lineups. They were tied 2-2 going into today's game. Unfortunately, the reigning World Champs will keep the Cup another year.


• Sounds like the Twins are thinking that their Opening Day starter shall be Livan, and a lot of folks beg to differ with the decision. Personally, I'm on the fence - kind of "meh". It's true he's not quite the Opening Day starter we had last year (what was his name? Jo...Joh...Johan something?). But he is a veteran, so he has the experience. And the best other option, Scott Baker, has an ouchie back. And besides, it's really only an honorary thing, and it's for only one game, after which the rest of the rotation will follow. If he can't handle facing other teams' aces, I'm sure Gardy will switch things around. I just wish we had a better veteran.


• All the media folks are running absolutely wild with the news that Pat Neshek decided to go vegan. I saw it on his website a few days ago, but coming from him, it didn't seem like that big of a deal. He made the change a couple months ago, and he says he feels healthier. He even admits that he'll probably eat meat again sometime. I think it's great that he's making changes; the important thing is that he's making thoughtful, conscious choices about his diet. However, it's no reason to get all crazy (startribune - seriously? Was it worth a note on the front page?) or cynical (Dan Barreiro - you think changing his diet is over-reacting?).

And now for something completely different...

Just for today, I'm stealing a page from Lipgloss & Baseball's M.O. and highlighting some cool music.

A very good friend of mine - one of the really good people in my life - is the lead singer, guitarist, and songwriter for The Julie Puppets. They have a new CD, Codes & Signals, and I really like their sound. Be sure to check them out at the Fine Line on Fri, March 21^st at 8 p.m.

Ok, You KNOW This Will Be Done To Death...

So I may as well be the first.

Livan, Livan loves his money
He makes a lot they say

The Twins have signed Livan Hernandez to a one-year contract for $5 million, with incentives that could total $7 million.



Hmm, I guess it's a pretty good deal, or at least not as bad as signing Ramon Ortiz and Sidney Ponson. The cliches everyone uses about him are "workhorse" and "innings eater". So that's good. A nice replacement for Carlos Silva, for what that's worth. And I haven't seen anything about there being injury issues.

I saw a report dated January 25th that said he was close to signing with the Mets. I guess they found another starting pitcher.

I remember seeing him pitch during the playoffs. I don't remember how he did; I don't remember if he won or lost; I don't remember if I liked him; all I remember is having that stupid song in my head. Seriously.