Sunday, May 31, 2009

Dos and Don'ts

At least the Twins were able to scratch one win on the road. Yup, just one. In case there were any doubts, while I am grateful for one win, I really wanted more than that.

Friday: Twins 3 - Rays 5
Saturday: Twins 2 - Rays 5
Sunday: Twins 3 - Rays 2

Once again, thank goodness for Nick Blackburn. He pitched, well, like he's supposed to. However, I suspect that part of the reason it seems like he's so good is because he follows Liriano and Baker in the rotation. Sometimes good impressions are relative.

Oh, and the bullpen did a nice job, for the most part. I like that.


After Saturday's game, Francisco Liriano indicated that he has a hard time knowing what to do at times. That's not good. Well, to prevent any further confusion, I've made a Do and Don't list for him and other pitchers who are struggling.

Trust your catchers
Be sure you're never late
Throw strikes
Keep the ball down
Eat your vegetables
Make sure you're getting up over your front leg
Trust your catchers
Follow through
Have confidence
Get plenty of sleep
Have a game plan
Establish your dominance with the fast ball
Know how to get the batters out
Trust your catchers
Buckle your seat belt
Stay within yourself
Avoid the big inning
Put your dirty laundry in the hamper
Have fun out there
Paint the corners
Throw inside when you have to
Brush your teeth twice daily
And most importantly, trust your catchers

Be a doofus
Listen to Wang Chung

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Splits and Suitcases

So we split the series with the Sawks. I guess that's not bad, but I'm not entirely happy about it either. I hate splits; they just go against everything baseball is about. But whatever...

Monday: Twins 5 - Red Sox 6
Tuesday: Twins 5 - Red Sox 2
Wednesday: Twins 4 - Red Sox 2
Thursday: Twins 1 - Red Sox 3

Mini-bro went to Thursday's game on a school field trip. He said he had fun, but they left before the home plate ump decided he needed to repeatedly work on his "yer outta heeeere" move. I don't even get it (the field trip leaving part, not the ump part -- well, I don't get the ump part either, but that's another story). If they knew they had to leave before the 7th, why even go at all. But whatever...

It was good to see Blackie pitch well on Tuesday and Swarzak on Thursday. It was good to see Dice-K play, oh what did Bat-Girl used to call it?, chuck and toss on Wednesday. It was good to see homers, and nice defense, blah, blah, blah. But I'm still left feeling kind of like I just had tomato soup made with water for dinner -- it just quite doesn't do it for me.


So, the Twins are on the road now -- off to Tampa Bay for three games. And it turns out that they have the dubious distinction of having the worst road record in the league. Well, that's no good. It's a good thing that it's a short trip -- they need to work into improvement slowly.

I have created a chart of items that I think they should pack to help them feel more comfortable while traveling. They can't hurt, and they might help. Whatever it takes.

(Yes, I do know that as I'm writing this, they're already well on their way to Florida -- maybe even already there -- and their bags were packed long ago, but I didn't think of this until today at work, and while doing this would have been a lot more fun than the copying and pasting that I was doing at work, I didn't think it would have been a good idea. But whatever...)

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Regarding Sweeps, HBPs, and New Guys

I love a good sweep when it's my team doing the cleaning up.

Friday: Twins 11 - Brewers 3
Saturday: Twins 6 - Brewers 2
Sunday: Twins 6 - Brewers 3

And a lot of Twins going Boom!

I'm especially impressed with Justin's grand-slam on Sunday because it came immediately after Milwaukee pitcher hit his second Twins Joe in the hands (both Joe Crede and Joe Mauer were HBP, and Crede had to take himself out of the game because of it). Gotta love how the big Canadian makes a statement. I hope both Joes' hands will be ok.

Oh, and Gardy actually won an argument with an umpire. When Joey Mauer got hit by the pitch, the umpire initially called it a foul ball. Joe showed the bruise, and Gardy marched out to make the case. Well, apparently, either the bruise or Gardy's power of persuasion won the umpire over, and Joe took his base.


No one in my family is quite as, ahem, passionate about baseball as I am, but they generously put up with me. They all actually have lives that don't include the Twins (I don't get it), and they don't really watch the games with me all that often. They're fans, but they don't live and die with every victory and defeat. And they don't really spend time keeping up with the news of injuries, releases, and call-ups.

So, this weekend as I was watching the Twins games and members of my family were walking through the room, the phrase I heard most was, "now, who's this guy?" It would happen while a newly called-up pitcher was warming up or pitching. I heard it a lot.

So, in case your families are like mine and don't know what's going on with the pitching staff, here's a recap:

Glen Perkins is on disabled list, so...
Sean Henn (or Henny-Penny as the guys at Pulling a Blyleven and I have dubbed him) is in the bullpen and pitched on Tuesday against the White Sox and was seen warming up Saturday.

Craig Breslow was placed on waivers and picked up by Oakland, so...
Anthony Swarzak pitched a seven-inning gem on Saturday (I think he looks like a keeper).

Got it?

Friday, May 22, 2009

Bartender, Another Beer Here

It's time for me to buy another beer; this time for...

Michael Cuddyer

Because he's my baseball boyfriend and I luv him. I also luv it when boys hit for cycles.

So, Cuddy-Honey, have a beer on me. And keep on hitting, because I also luv it that you're hitting all kinds of homeruns.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Thanks for Today

Well, that certainly was a turn of fortune now, wasn't it?

Tuesday: Twins 2 - Ugly White Sux 6
Wednesday: Twins 4 - Ugly White Sux 7
Thursday: Twins 20 (!) - White Sox 1

Twins drop series 1 of 3 and avoid going 0 for roadtrip.

I don't want to talk about the first two games of the series, so I'm not going to. I was having a bad week at work, and those losses just made things worse. But things started looking up today -- everything turned out fine -- and today's game was like a celebration. So I'd like to say thanks. Thanks to my colleague who helped me meet my deadlines (yes, plural deadlines -- apparently someone at my company thought it would be a hoot to schedule two major projects to be due in the same week), and thanks to the Twins for turning on the fun. I am way more relaxed this evening than I have been all week.

Today's game was impressive on many levels -- what with all the hitting, and walking, and running around the bases, and homers, and more hitting, and more homers, and all -- but I think the real hero was Nick Blackburn. While all his teammates were causing all kinds of chaos, he quietly and confidently went to work and got opponents out. I just ♥ good pitching, so thanks for being awesome. It's been such a rare thing for a starter to go deep into the game without imploding, it was truly special. But then, knowing that his mound opponents were throwing batting practice probably helped him relax a bit. Hey, whatever it takes. Nick, please do that again -- a lot. Other pitchers, please take a lesson from Nick.

Oh, there's another thing that started out scary, but turned out all right: this morning the White Sox announced that they had agreed to a trade to acquire Jake Peavy, but since he has a no-trade clause, he declined. Thanks for that.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

What It Must Be Like To Be Rick Anderson (a story)

Rhonda Anderson wakes up at 4 am and notices her husband Rick has gotten out of bed. She gets up, puts on her sea-blue robe with a little sailboat embroidered on the left side, slips on her fuzzy purple slippers, and shuffles downstairs to check on him.

Rick, who happens to be the pitching coach for the Minnesota Twins, is sitting at the dining-room table in the dark. He has made himself a bowl of Cookie Crisp cereal, but he's playing with it more than eating it. "What's the matter, hon?" Rhonda asks with as much compassion as she can muster at such an early hour, "Can't sleep?"

"No," he grumbles, "I just can't figure it out."

"Figure what out?" she says sleepily as she shuffles to the kitchen counter to start a pot of coffee.

"The pitchers. I can't figure out how to get through to them. They've always been so good before -- they've always listened to me. They always used to do exactly what I asked of them. They always took my advice and treated me with respect.

"Now...well, now they seem to be intentionally defying me. I tell them to pound the strike zone, and they throw right down the middle. I tell them if they have to miss, miss low, and they leave pitches up. I tell them to throw strikes, and they walk guys. Oh, and whenever I try talking to them, they just sigh and say 'I know,' or worse, they roll their eyes and walk away. I don't know what to do anymore -- they just won't listen. It's as if they've turned into a bunch of surly teenagers that are getting bad grades. You know what I mean?...Rhonda?"

Rhonda looks up from her bag of Dunkin Donuts coffee grounds, and looks at Rick. After a pause, she says, "Oh, I'm sorry honey, what were you saying? I wasn't paying attention."

Monday, May 18, 2009

Compliment Super Club Sandwich

I love watching Family Guy. One of my favorite episodes is when Stewie (the baby) is Brian's (the dog) boss. Stewie calls Brian into his office for a chat.
Stewie Griffin: Now then, I’m going to do something I call the “compliment sandwich”, where I say something good, then talk about where you need improvement, and then end with something good.

Brian Griffin: Whatever you gotta do.
So let's do that for the Twins, shall we? Only this time, it'll be stacked really big.

Compliment: You kept yourselves in all four of the games against the Yankees.
Needs Improvement: You couldn't win any of them.
Compliment: The starting pitching on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday was quite serviceable.
Needs Improvement: The starting pitching on Monday could've been better.
Compliment: The batters hit more than the usual number of homeruns.
Needs Improvement: The pitching gave up more than the usual number of homeruns.
Compliment: The defense made some fine plays.
Needs Improvement: The batters left a total of 247 men on base -- 208 of them were in scoring position.
Compliment: You look like Snoopy, and that makes me smile.*

Recap (even though I hate to relive it):
Friday: Twins 4 - Yankees 5 (Nathan blows the save?!?! Walk-off single by Melky Cabrera)
Saturday: Twins 4 - Yankees 6 (11 Walk-off two-run homer by A-Rod)
Sunday: Twins 2 - Yankees 3 (10 Walk-off homer by Johnny Damon)
Monday: Twins 6 - Yankees 7 (no walk-offs this time)
Twins = Dustbunny

Up next: From the Evil Empire to the Evil Uglies -- the White Sox. Oh yay. We get Mark Buehrle. *rolls eyes*

*You have to have watched the episode of Family Guy I'm talking about to get this.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Four-Letter Fun

You know, it's bad enough to have to lose to the stinking, rotten, evil Yankees, but do they have to toy with us and make us believe that we've actually got a chance of winning? I guess the silver lining is that at least the Twins are keeping the games close -- at least the Yankees haven't blown away the Twins yet. Like I've said before, it's too bad moral victories don't count.

So, my dear Twins, let's stop playing the see-how-many-men-we-can-leave-stranded-on-base game and blow the Yankees away and get out of New York with one victory, shall we?

*sigh* This whole thing just makes me want to spew a string of four-letter words. I won't, because, well, I don't think it'll really help, and you probably know them all anyway.

But, speaking of four-letter words, let's have a little fun. My Twitter friend Mookie5 compiled a list of the active MLB players who have four-letter last names and sent it to me. I loved this; I get a kick out of fun or unusual names. I was really surprised to see how many there are.

Loux, Shane (Angels)
Blum, Geoff (Astros)
Buck, Travis (Athletics)
Cust, Jack (Athletics)
Camp, Shawn (Blue Jays)
Hill, Aaron (Blue Jays)
Rios, Alex (Blue Jays)
Ryan, B.J. (Blue Jays)
Diaz, Matt (Braves)
Lowe, Derrick (Braves)
Parr, James (Braves)
Ross, David (Braves)
Bush, Dave (Brewers)
Hall, Bill (Brewers)
Hart, Corey (Brewers)
Ryan, Brendan (Cardinals)
Berg, Justin (Cubs)
Fuld, Sam (Cubs)
Hart, Kevin (Cubs)
Hill, Coyie (Cubs)
Soto, Geovany (Cubs)
Drew, Stephen (Diamondbacks)
Pena, Tony (Diamondbacks)
Webb, Brandon (Diamondbacks)
Kemp, Matt (Dodgers)
Paul, Xavier (Dodgers)
Wade, Cory (Dodgers)
Wolf, Randy (Dodgers)
Cain, Matt (Giants)
Holm, Steve (Giants)
Roma, Sergio (Giants)
Sosa, Henry (Giants)
Winn, Randy (Giants)
Zito, Barry (Giants)
Choo, Shin-Soo (Indians)
Sipp, Tony (Indians)
Wood, Kerry (Indians)
Carp, Mike (Mariners)
Kahn, Stephen (Mariners)
Lowe, Mark (Mariners)
Pena, Luis (Mariners)
Vega, Marwin (Mariners)
Ross, Cody (Marlins)
Wood, Tim (Marlins)
Cora, Alex (Mets)
Kunz, Eddie (Mets)
Putz, J.J. (Mets)
Reed, Jeremy (Mets)
Bard, Josh (Nationals)
Dunn, Adam (Nationals)
Mock, Garrett (Nationals)
Baez, Danys (Orioles)
Bass, Brian (Orioles)
Hill, Rich (Orioles)
Huff, Aubrey (Orioles)
Mora, Melvin (Orioles)
Zaun, Gregg (Orioles)
Bell, Heath (Padres)
Geer, Josh (Padres)
Hill, Shawn (Padres)
Eyre, Scott (Phillies)
Hopp, J.A. (Phillies)
Park, Chan Ho (Phillies)
Ruiz, Carlos (Phillies)
Cruz, Luis (Pirates)
Diaz, Robinzon (Pirates)
Duke, Zach (Pirates)
Meek, Evan (Pirates)
Moss, Brandon (Pirates)
Sues, Jeff (Pirates)
Veal, Donald (Pirates)
Byrd, Marlon (Rangers)
Cruz, Nelson (Rangers)
Eyre, Willie (Rangers)
Jaso, John (Rays)
Pena, Carlos (Rays)
Bard, Daniel (Red Sox)
Diaz, Argenis (Red Sox)
Drew, J.D. (Red Sox)
Lugo, Julio (Red Sox)
Bray, Bill (Reds)
Cook, Aaron (Rockies)
Bale, John (Royals)
Buck, John (Royals)
Cruz, Juan (Royals)
Pena, Tony (Royals)
Rosa, Carlos (Royals)
Lyon, Brandon (Tigers)
Ryan, Dusty (Tigers)
Seay, Bobby (Tigers)
Inge, Brandon (Tigers)
Getz, Chris (White Sox)
Link, Jon (White Sox)
Wise, Dewayne (White Sox)
Cano, Robinson (Yankees)
Cash, Kevin (Yankees)
Coke, Phil (Yankees)
Dunn, Michael (Yankees)
Nady, Xavier (Yankees)
Pena, Romiro (Yankees)

Thanks Mookie5!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

So, Like, Wow

So what's up with the Twins' bats? No, I mean I love it; I'm just a bit amazed.

Tuesday: Twins 6 - Tigers 2
Wednesday: Twins 14 - Tigers 10 (13)
Thursday: Twins 6 - Tigers 5

Twins earn sweep

I barely recognize this team. Haven't we always been told that this team is built on pitching and "small ball"? So what's with all this hitting and big innings and homers and such? Let me just say that I love it and I want them to keep it up.

I would, however, like to recommend that the pitchers, particularly the bullpen pitchers, pull there heads out of their, the sand. How awesome would that be?

And our hero again today was Joe Crede (who, by the way, must have been running on nothing but intestinal fortitude and Java Monster Mean Bean). No dramatic walk-off grannies today, only a nice, timely two-run single, but he sure seems to like to show off when the bases are loaded. So, I think it would be great if Gardy dared the batters in front of Joe to always get on base for him just to see him show off some more. Do you think that's a good idea?

Bartender, I'd Like to Buy a Beer For...

Joe Crede

Thanks Joe. After a long night of leading, then trailing, then leading, then trailing, then tied, then trailing, then tied (I think that's how that went), YOU decided, "enough of that noise," and then made some noise to finally put an end to this agonizing game once and for all. Yes, you had some help, with all those guys on base and all, but that (say it with me now) Walk-off Grand Slam in the bottom of the 13th (GAWD!) was decisive, and timely, and beautiful.

Try to get some sleep now. It's an early game tomorrow. Night-night.

[EDIT:] I moseyed on over to the free agent board on my fantasy team, and lo and behold, one Mr. Joe Crede was available. Hmmm. Turns out I need to drop Carlos Guillen (he's on the DL and my DL is full), so I snapped him up. Too bad I didn't think to do that two days ago, but whatev. Don't worry, it's only on a trial basis; if being on my fantasy baseball team proves to give him bad luck, I'll be able to easily drop him and add a different 3B.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Head Scratcher of the Day

Other than what was required in my childhood phy ed classes, I have never played baseball or softball. My coaching of baseball is limited to keeping the scorebook and hollering the batting order every inning. Everything I taught my son about throwing and catching and hitting a baseball, my husband had to un-teach and re-teach. Everything I've ever learned about baseball, I've learned by watching, and listening, and reading -- not at all by doing.

With that being said, even I wonder about the logic behind a double-steal with two outs, late in the game, when you're up by four runs, your best hitter at the plate, and the game's best closer due up to pitch the next inning.

But, YAY for winning anyway.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

A Great Mother's Day!

I took my mom to a Twins game to celebrate Mother's Day (Hi Mom!). Even though the game didn't turn out exactly the way we hoped, it was still a great day.

Friday: Twins 11 - Mariners 0
Saturday: Twins 9 - Mariners 6
Sunday: Twins 3 - Mariners 5
Twins take series 2 - 1

We were both so excited to be at the game together -- we were looking forward to it all week -- there was no way we were going to let anything spoil the day. Not even an awful 8th inning by the bullpen.

During the game, there were a pair of women sitting behind us (I guessed them to be mother and daughter, but if that was true, the "mother" was very young-looking). At first, they seemed to be having a nice time. I didn't really listen in on their conversations, but the bits I did hear made it seem that they were very knowledgeable Twins fans. Well during and after that Awful 8th Inning (I capitalize because that its name), they suddenly turned very bitter and wicked. They went on and on (I won't get into it here -- I can't imagine having that much negativity in my heart). And they weren't being sarcastic and exaggerate-y like a regular fan is when watching the bullpen cough up a lead; they were vile and poisonous and mean. They weren't loud, just intense. The kicker was when they both said, "this just ruined Mother's Day." And they meant it. Seriously? You're going to let one bad inning in a baseball game ruin your Mother's Day? Wow. That's some family dysfunction right there, I tell ya.

So, to shake off all that bad karma, and to prove that I really did have a great day (Hi Mom!), I'll list the Great things and the Bummer things to show what's better. 'k? 'k.

  • Having breakfast with Mom (Thanks Mom!).
  • Getting to the game nice and early to get a decent parking spot.
  • Buying and eating warm cinnamon almonds.
  • Getting to the game nice and early to get a sweet t-shirt.
  • Getting to the game nice and early to visit with my mom (Hi Mom!).
  • Getting to the game nice and early to use my binoculars to watch Joe Crede stretch out that hamstring before the game.
  • Listening to that high-school choir perform the National Anthem (really -- they were good).
  • Using my binoculars to watch Blackie.
  • Watching Justin beat Ichiro to the bag in the 1st.
  • Watching Go-Go go-go on that bunt single in the 2nd.
  • Willing Blackie through trouble in the 4th and watching him successfully get out of it.
  • Listening to that lady sing God Bless America during the 7th inning stretch (again really -- she was very good).
  • Watching Go-Go go-go get that fly to center in the 9th.
  • Cheering and clapping and shouting and crossing our fingers when our boys loaded the bases in the 9th (too bad it didn't turn out the way we were wishing, but it was still fun).
  • Getting to the ladies restroom after the game but before the line got long (hey, sometimes it's the little things in life).
  • Having a nice dinner at my favorite Mexican restaurant with my husband and boys (Thanks Guys!).
  • Watching the Awful 8th Inning.
  • Listening to those chicks bitch about the Awful 8th Inning.
  • Smacking my nose really hard with a laundry basket (don't ask).
That's about it. Yup, it looks like I had a resoundingly great Mother's Day. I hope my mom did too (Hi Mom!).

Friday, May 8, 2009

"World Class Excellence"

Ok, it's clear the Twins have to do something to get back on their horse.

Wednesday: Twins 1 - Orioles 4
Thursday: Twins 4 - Orioles 5
Twins = Dustbunny

I don't know what they need to do. Maybe Gardy needs to hire a motivational speaker. Yeah, that's it. That's what he should do...
Hi, my name is Cyndi and I've been working for Motivations Specialists for 14 years. I can honestly tell you that I've never had a bad day at work. I love my job, and every single morning I wake up and look forward to going to work. And I want to show you that you can love your jobs too. I'm here to motivate you to achieve "World-Class Excellence."

First I would like to go ahead and do a little mental exercise. Ok, I want everyone to close your eyes. Oh, come on'll be fun. Come on... come on, close your eyes. Everyone's eyes closed? You in the back -- the blond guy -- you too. Ok, good. Now I want you to imagine yourself in your favorite quiet place. Take yourself there now. Ok, good. Now imagine a nice gentle warm rain washing down over you.... What? What's the matter? Oh, no rain? We can't talk about rain? Why not? Bad memories of rain...oh...ok, well we'll move on.

Ok, so we'll try a team-building exercise. Ok? Oh, come on, it won't hurt. Remember, we're trying to achieve "World-Class Excellence." Ok, so I'm going to hand out these pieces of paper. Everyone take one. Ok, great. Now...I have this cardboard box. It has an address label on it. The address label says "Neptune." It used to say "Pluto," but since it's not a planet anymore, it's no longer accepting packages. And I would have addressed it to "Uranus," but I figured it would make you snicker. ...Hello? Is this thing on? There are a lot of blank stares out there... Anyone want to at least smile? No? ...Ok then...

Anyway...I want you to write down your single most damaging trait. It could be "a habit of negativity." It could be "resentfulness." It could be you've "checked out." It could be "giving minimum performance." It could be "lack of accountability." Anything. So I want you to write down one bad trait -- the worst one -- on the piece of paper, and then come up here and put it in the box. Then, we're going to ship it to Neptune so all that negativity and subversion and bad attitude will be far, far away. Come on, I know you guys can think of something to write. Come on, bring them on up and put them in the box. Everyone...

Do you think it'd work?

Nah...I don't either.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

T-I-Double Guh-ER!

The wonderful thing about Tiggers.....Is Tiggers are wonderful things.....Their tops are made out of rubber.....The bottoms are made out of springs.....They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy.....Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun.....But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is.....I'm the only one.
Welcome back to the bigs Tigger Tolbert! Have fun. (Ok, I know I'm probably the only person on the planet who calls him Tigger, but I don't care. It works for me.)

I am a bit sad that Alexi got sent down. I hope he can take some time, get things straightened out, and be back soon.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Split Series Equals Split Personality

Wow. I don't remember the last time I had such a dramatic mood swing in a 24-hour period.

Monday: Twins 7 - Tigers 2
Tuesday: Twins 0 - Tigers 9 (Ouch! That hurt to write. In fact, it still hurts to think about. Someone grab some Advil for me. And maybe some ice. And rum.)

Twins split the stupid two-game series 1 each.

To compare and contrast the two games, I thought I'd make a spreadsheet showing my findings. This is a significant step for me; I'm afraid of spreadsheets.


Monday’s Game

Tuesday’s Game

Starting pitching


Not so much



Not so much

Timely hitting


Not so much

Patience at the plate


Not so much

Doing the little things right


Not so much

Playing like major leaguers


Not so much

Yup. The data shows the team can certainly afford to concentrate on a little consistency. Just remember guys: more like Monday, less like Tuesday.

Get them next time!

Monday, May 4, 2009

When Baseball and Bad Spelling Collide -- Special Edition (Part II)

Remember the NATINALS uniform misspelling fiasco from a couple of weeks ago? Well, there's more...

The Nationals held an auction for charity and sold Adam Dunn's jersey for $8,000. Very nice.

The Washington Post had a little blurb about it. Ok, good.

And the FOXSports Rumor Page (you know, my favorite place to find funny errors) picked it up and came up with this:

*blink blink* miss spelled jersey? Who the hell is Miss Spelled Jersey, and why are the Nationals auctioning her off?

It's ironic, don't you think, that the headline talking about a misspelled jersey is, in fact, misspelled.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Are We Sailing, or Are We Sinking?

Well, right now, neither. But we might be embarking on a three-hour tour.

Friday: Twins 7 - Royals 5 (at least I got to go to the one the Twins won)
Saturday: Twins 7 - Royals 10 (11)
Sunday: Twins 5 - Royals 7
Twins drop series 1-2. I guess that's why the Royals are currently in first place, and we're, well, not.

Those pesky Royals are pretty annoying, aren't they. Just when you think the Twins have them where they want them, they change course and adjust their ways back into it. And just when you think the Twins are sailing right along, they hit some rough seas. Hell, in Sunday's game, they went from smooth sailing to getting sucked right into the vortex of a whirlpool (and I don't mean the Jacuzzi®-type either). These things are the makings of a shipwreck.

I know, I know, it's early. But if the Twins don't batten down the hatches soon, they'll certainly be lost at sea.

And, with that, I'm done with the lame nautical metaphors.


Dear Joe Mauer,

I hope you're back is 100% better, because it's pretty clear you'll have to carry the whole team on it. So far, you're doing an outstanding job (nice pinch-hit hit today). Keep up the good work, my friend.



As predicted, we have to say goodbye to Jose Morales. As much fun as it was to watch him play (especially hit), now he'll have a chance to play everyday and polish his defensive skills. I wish him all the best, and I'm looking forward to seeing him again when the September call-ups come up (and not before because that would require either Joey or Red-Dog to get hurt, and I certainly don't want that).


Oh goody. Up next, we have two games in Detroit and then two in Baltimore. Ugh. What's up with the stupid even-numbered-game series? And two-gamers are the worst.

Do the guys even bother unpacking their suitcases for a two-game series?

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Friday Trip Report

My son mini-bro and I took a trip to the Dome on Friday. It was a successful trip; here is my report:

I got the tickets for free. Earlier in the week, I received an email out of the blue from a guy who is new to my company and who I hadn't met yet. He said he found out I was a Twins fan (how do people figure this out? I don't know -- it must be the Twins rug, posters, and other memorabilia I have in my cubicle) and he wanted to know if I could take his tickets off his hands. He didn't want any money; he just wanted me to have a good time. He's my new best friend.

We got there early and I received my sweet Justin Morneau fishing lure. Too bad I don't fish enough to know how to use it. Oh well, it'll have to find a home in my baseball shrine. Mini-bro was a little put off because he didn't get one. I told him it was only for people 18 and over, and he snarked, "what do they think I'm going to do...put it in my mouth?" Well, someone picked up the sarcasm gene from his mother.

The seats were great -- down along the first base line, right by the enemy bullpen catcher, 11th row. I was able to keep an eye on Justin's booty most of the evening. The fans around us were great; in fact, they were some of the most creative, but not overly rude, hecklers I've heard in a while. They kept me giggling the whole time.

Of course, everyone was buzzing about Joe Mauer and his triumphant return to the bigs. And, he did not disappoint. Our get-on-base guy decided to announce his presence grandly and homered on the first pitch he swung at. Everyone was both stunned and pleased. Nice work Joey.

But we can't forget Justin. After all, it was his fishing-lure day -- Joey can't hog all the attention. Because he's Canadian, Justin isn't going to complain, he's just going to quietly prove his point and let people draw their own conclusions. And he did, by doing one better and blasting a two-run homer after Joey drew a walk. And that's how you spell M&M. Oh, and most of the other batters had pretty good nights too (Cuddy hit a triple? Seriously?).

K-Slo was shaky, but the bullpen was awesome. And seeing Ponson stink so bad makes me wonder why teams bother giving him a chance.

One final plus: getting out of the parking ramp, and subsequently out of downtown, was easier and faster than usual. Good time all around.

Sorry I don't have any pictures. The camera was elsewhere for the weekend, and I knew my cell phone would take crappy pictures. Too bad I didn't become friends with the gal sitting in front of me. She took some great pictures, particularly ones of Justin's booty. I can't imagine why she would do that.