Fun With Ridiculous Stats, Series Recaps, and More Notes

The Twins have completed two series now, and after completely embarrassing themselves from the gate, they've rallied to make their record somewhat more respectable.

I'm going to ignore the Orioles series because, frankly, I was unable to pay a lot of attention to it. I had to watch the three games in bits-and-pieces. Apparently, I didn't miss much.

I was lucky enough to attend the Twins home opener. I was happy to be back at Target Field, even though I didn't partake in any of the new food items (I stuck with a good old reliable brat). I did partake in some delightful hot chocolate. Twice. Because it was damn cold.

Here's a picture I took from our new season ticket seats.

It was fun to see the 2006 Division Champ Twins throwing out the first pitch, especially Brad Radke, but as you can tell from the picture, I didn't really get a good look. I did, however, get enough of a look at the actual game. It wasn't my favorite.

What is my favorite? Twins wins, of course. And, I was beginning to get a nagging feeling that that they didn't remember how to do that. I'm so glad that they didn't forget.

Notes From the Series:

• I'm glad to see Justin and Joey finally hitting. Things are exciting when they're both in the lineup and hitting well.
• I think Josh Willingham wants me to love him; that's why he keeps hitting all those huge homeruns. I'm also not too worried about his defense; I think he'll get better at that.
• I also think that Glen Perkins wants me to love him. Did you see how he made a fool out of Albert Pujols? O...M...G...
• I wish that Matt Capps wanted me to love him. I'm trying as hard as I can to give him a chance, but he's making it really hard. He's serving up way too much interesting.
• I can't think of anything bad to say about Chris Parmelee. Not that I want to or anything, but I just thought I'd note that. Keep it up, rook.

~~~
Jeff Gray Knows How to Win

Right-handed reliever Jeff Gray leads the club in wins. In fact, he has all of them. Well, both of them.

And the amazing fact is that his combined pitch count for his two wins is ... three. He earned the win on Wednesday after recording an out with a single pitch. On Thursday, it took him twice as many pitches to complete the same feat.

Obviously, the Twins batters sitting in the dugout while he's on the mound are so inspired by his efficient pitching that when they finally come to the plate, they are compelled to take the lead and not let go.

Or, it could be that the pitchers' win stat is really dumb.

~~~
Injury Update

Scott Baker announced that he will have surgery to repair his flexor pronator tendon, an injury that has been bothering him since last season.

This is not the same injury that requires Tommy John surgery. That is a ligament replacement. This is a tendon.

Ligaments connect bone to bone; tendons connect bone to muscle. Also, tendons communicate with the brain causing the muscles to react. This particular tendon allows the forearm to rotate while the arm is flexed (imagine flexing your arm, keeping your shoulder and elbow still, and rotating your palm).

The recovery time for this is likely to be six months, so his season is over. And his tenure with the Twins is likely over too. The Twins have a team option on his contract for 2013, but it's for $9.25 million, which is probably too spendy for a guy just coming off a significant injury. So he'll be a free agent trying to convince teams he's fine. Bummer.

Catching Up on My Filing

It's been a while since I've kept up with the Twins news. I figured I'd go back and see what I missed and file the info away as needed.

File under: Recognizing a Good Thing While You Have It
Glen Perkins signed a 3-year, $10.3 million extension with an option for 2016. Twins fans remember that things weren't always so rosy between the Twins and Perkins, dating back to 2009 and 2010. In fact, I'm guilty of losing my fandom of him, too -- regrettably. He's matured and proven himself. The Twins have allowed the ugly past to stay there. And I've changed my mind. Everyone's cool now.

File under: I Didn't Really Think They Would
The Twins optioned Tsyoshi Nishioka to AAA Rochester. Last fall, I asked that the Twins admit their mistake regarding Nishioka, but I kind of figured they wouldn't listen to little ol' me. He's been in the MLB for a year now; the adjustment period has been more than generous. While it's true that he had a tough go with a new country and a broken leg and all, it's alarming that during his second spring training with the Twins he still didn't know fundamental stuff such as where to position himself to be the cut-off man. According to several writers and baseball analysts, he's been lost and the plate and lost-er in the field -- literally out of his league. He has bigger baseball problems to solve than some culture shock and a (should be healed by now) fractured fibula.

File under: On The L Back To Chicago
The Twins sent Rule 5 draftee, RHP Terry Doyle back to the White Sox. The deal with Rule 5 drafts is that if the drafted player can't make the 25-man roster for the whole season, the drafting team must return the player to the original team or work out a trade. The Twins claim that they couldn't find common ground with the White Sox, so they sent him packing. He made a memorable first impression with me -- memorable for all the wrong reasons. He was largely responsible for a 10-run first inning for the Pirates. Doyle couldn't find the strike zone, and when he did, he grooved the ball in the heart of the plate.

File under: Better Luck Next Year, Kid
The Twins are beginning to cull their Spring Training roster. They've optioned several players to the minor leagues:

• Arcia, Oswaldo (OF)
• Diamond, Scott (LHP)
• Guerra, Deolis (RHP) 
• Gutierrez, Carlos (RHP) 
• Mastrionni, Darin (LF) 
• Nishioka, Tsuyoshi  (IF)
• Oliveros, Lester (RHP)
• Robertson, Tyler (LHP)
• Tosoni, Rene (OF)

Quick Notes: Jan. 22

Tuesday was the deadline for teams and their arbitration-eligible players to exchange salary numbers. There were three arbitration-eligible players on the Twins roster: Francisco Liriano, Glen Perkins, and Alexi Casilla.

There were two others at the beginning of the off-season, but Kevin Slowey was traded to the Rockies (and then traded again -- more on that later), and the Twins declined to offer Jose Mijares a contract (and then he signed with the Royals).

The players are under contract for this year, but they're due raises, so they need to agree on the paycheck.

If the numbers are close, then the team and player generally finalize things right away -- Liriano (who will make $5.5 million) and Perkins ($1.55 million) did this. However, the Twins and Casilla felt like they were a little too far apart to settle right away.

Casilla wants $1.75 million, but the Twins are offering $1.065 million. So what next? They'll schedule an arbitration meeting and keep talking. They have all the way up until the start of the meeting, which will probably be scheduled for early to mid February, to meet somewhere in the middle. If they actually do sit down for arbitration, either Casilla's number or the Twins' will be his salary. There is no compromise in arbitration.

From all accounts, everyone wants to avoid arbitration. Both parties will sit before an independent arbitrator (not arbiter; I looked it up) and try to make their cases, which, I imagine, goes something like this:

Player: I'm awesome and I deserve the money.
Team: Weeellll...you're good, but we wouldn't say awesome.
Player: Yeah, but look at all these awesome things I did....
Team: No, but look at all these crappy things you did...
Player: I'm still pretty awesome.
Team: Not awesome.
Player: Yes.
Team: No.

And so forth until they're done, and then the arbitrator will decide one number or the other.

And after it's all done, the team will tell the player he'd better have an awesome year.

~~~

Kevin Slowey, whom the Twins traded to the Rockies early in the off-season, was traded again last week to the Indians. Poor Kevin didn't even make it as a Rockie long enough to go to their fan fest. In fact, I don't even think he's in the country yet after climbing Mount Kilimanjaro with R.A. Dickey.

And from the looks of things, the Rockies got a better player in return than the Twins did.

But the Indians were desperate. One of their starting pitchers, the right-hander formerly known as Fausto Carmona, is in some trouble with stolen identity and falsifying his age. He's not likely to get a work visa to come to the US anytime soon.

It's odd; I've always been intrigued by "Fausto Carmona," and, to be honest, a lot of it may have had to do with that magnificent name.

~~~

Joel Zumaya passed his physical. Welcome to my spreadsheet, Joel. Oh, and welcome to Minnesota, too.

~~~

Seth Stohs is a Twins blogger, and is probably the foremost expert outside the Twins organization on the Twins' minor-league system. He's a great supporter of all us Twins bloggers, and he always does great work.

Seth's 2012 Minnesota Twins Prospect Handbook is now available. I encourage you to buy one -- it's very reasonably priced. He always does a nice job writing it. If you don't really know much about prospects, this is a great resource every time one of those minor-leaguers gets called up. There are stats and such, but he also writes up a brief description of each prospect, so you get some background information every time.

I also encourage you to use his Handbook to become more familiar with the prospects. These guys work hard to move up the ranks, and it's kind of fun to follow their progress. They're the future of the Twins team; we should give them all the encouragement we can, if only from afar.

It's a must have if you're planning on going to Spring Training, or even if you're planning on listening to Spring Training games.

Visit Seth's website for info on getting his Handbook.

2012 Wish List, Part VI: Take the Bullpen Seriously

Remember a year ago when one of the biggest gripes certain Twins fans could come up with was calling Jesse Crain "Crainwreck"? Remember a year ago when certain Twins fans were so fed up with Matt Guerrier they couldn't be bothered with pronouncing his name correctly?

Yeah...I wonder what those certain fans think about those guys now?

I miss them too.

I have to admit that the old cliche of you don't know what you've got until it's gone applies to me regarding the Twins bullpen of yesteryear. And as much I would love to have either one or both of those guys back, it's too late to rue the decisions of the past.

Too bad the present isn't much fun.

The current bullpen owns the worst cumulative ERA in all of baseball (4.53). The front office can't expect to win very many games when they can't trust the men at the back end of the game to preserve leads or, at the very least, keep the team close. Unfortunately, however, the front office has shown over the last few years that it doesn't worry too much about the state of the bullpen. Fans have been fed lines that everything will be ok with the guys we have for a while now.

We can't have Crain or Guerrier back (well, I suppose we could, but I doubt it). But that doesn't mean we have to be stuck with what we have.

Here's the plan I wish for:

Bring Nathan back. The Twins have a $12 million option to keep him one more year. That's pretty spendy; I don't see Bill Smith willing to pony up that kind of money. And frankly, that's too much for a relief pitcher. However, I would like the Twins to let him test the free agent market and then actively pursue him for less money. He turns 37 this off-season; his next multi-year contract will likely be his last. I can see him taking the security of more years and still make it affordable for the Twins.

Tender Glen Perkins another contract. I used to kind of hate him as a starter. I really like him as a set up man.

Find a new home for Kevin Slowey. His, um, philosophical differences with the team are simply too chaotic to overcome. He'll probably succeed elsewhere; he just doesn't fit with the Twins.

Put Anthony Swarzak and Brian Duensing back to the bullpen and keep them as middle-inning and long relievers.

Say good-bye to Phil Dumatrait, Jose Mijares, and Matt Capps. They simply don't pitch well enough and have proven that they can't be trusted. Maybe send Alex Burnett on his way as well.

Then, find good, reliable replacements. I like the promise that Lester Oliveros has shown, though I'm not sure he's really ready for the big leagues yet. He's only 23; let him earn a spot in spring training. Otherwise, make some trades and sign some new guys.

And maybe just make a quick phone call to Jesse Crain and Matt Guerrier.

~~~

Since I mentioned Matt Capps, here's his paper doll:

If I remember correctly, he was unavailable for a few games mid-season because he had some forearm soreness. Or was it shoulder? Elbow? I guess I can't remember correctly.

Anyway, he's the last one of the guys who were on the Opening Day roster.

DL Report: Justin Morneau

There are now nine men currently on the DL (two will come off in the next 24 hours), 13 men to be on it sometime this year, and two men twice, for a total of 15 transactions. Oy. Plus, with all the minor leaugers filling in, only 10 guys on the current 25-man roster have had no transactions at all. I've had to rearrange my spreadsheet quite a bit.

The Twins have placed Justin Morneau on the 15-day DL, retroactive to June 10, with a left wrist strain. He had a cortisone shot a few days ago, but unfortunately, it didn't give him any relief. He had it re-examined, and the doctor told him to immobilize it for 10 days. He'll get a cast on it sometime Thursday.

How he hurt it is unclear. I haven't seen any definitive reports in the media. It could be caused by some kind over-compensation of his sore neck and shoulder (experts call this a "cascade injury"). However, I've also read some speculation that he may have hurt in in a fit of frustration.

Either way, it's hurt, and he has to sit. With a cast.

No announcement yet as to who will take his spot on the roster, but both Tsuyoshi Nishioka and Glen Perkins are due to come off the DL on Wednesday or Thursday.

Updates:
Tsuyoshi Nishioka has been playing some games at AAA Rochester and is ready to come back to Minnesota. He'll be evaluated again once he arrives to Target Field, and he may be ready to play Wednesday night. Because he's currently on the 60-day DL, someone will have to come off both the active roster and the 40-man roster to make room. Pitcher Dusty Hughes has been outrighted from the 40-man roster.

Glen Perkins should be in the line up Thursday, or maybe even Wednesday night.

Joe Mauer is very close to returning, too. I'm hoping he'll be in the line up Friday. He faced Joe Nathan in some batting practice in Fort Myers on Wednesday. I wonder if Nathan "got him with the slider" and then Mrs. Mauer came by and told them to go play outside. Ha. And, like Nishioka, he's on the 60-DL, which means a 25-man and 40-man roster spot will need to be cleared for him.

Joe Nathan will be returning to Minnesota soon. He's not quite ready to return to the line up, but he's very close.

Jim Thome and Kevin Slowey are in Fort Myers doing rehab.

Jason Kubel is taking swings in the batting cage, but still has pain in his foot when he runs.

Denard Span is feeling better every day, but is still suffering concussion symptoms.

DL Report: When Thome Goes to DLandia, He Doesn't Go Alone

First, let me start by saying that I don't really mean to stick to doing only DL reports with this blog. I fully intend to keep writing other stuff too. I'm trying to think of clever things to say, but, unfortunately, I'm usually only clever when I'm content. And, well, I'm not feeling terribly content with my baseball team. It'll come back soon enough. I'm sure you understand.

Anyway, on to the paper dolls...

The Twins have placed DH Jim Thome on the 15-day DL with a strained left quad. He tweaked it taking a swing on Wednesday. This after he just returned on May 23 from a DL stint due to an oblique strain. I'm guessing, but could it be that he's still favoring the oblique, so he swung differently, which cascaded to tweaking the leg? Hard to tell.

IF Luke Hughes has been recalled from AAA Rochester to take his place on the roster.

Apparently, Thome's a-scared of DLandia because he never goes alone. Last time, he brought Jason Repko with him. This time, since any old Jason will do, he's bringing Jason Kubel. (Yes, I know, Jason got hurt first. Just go with the joke, ok?)

The Twins have placed OF Jason Kubel in the 15-day DL with a sprained mid-left foot (I know that's worded weird, but that's how it is in the transaction report). It's interesting they used the word "sprained"; this means there is some actual tissue damage. ("Strain" usually means "sore"; "sprain" means "tear.") He hurt it going after a homerun ball in Detroit on Monday. According to the Twins radio broadcast on Wednesday, he said that he hurt it right when he broke to chase the ball, not when he jumped up the wall.

OF Ben Revere has been recalled from AAA Rochester to fill his spot.

However, with two of his power lefty hitters down, Gardy needs another left-handed hitter. So the Twins have purchased the contract of OF Brian Dinkelman. To make room on the 25-man roster, IF Trevor Plouffe has been re-assigned to AAA Rochester, and to make room on the 40-man roster, C Joe Mauer has been added to the 60-day DL. This move means that Mauer won't be eligible to return until June 12. It was highly unlikely that he would've returned before then, so it's just a paperwork move.

Updates:

Joe Mauer caught three innings in an extended spring training game, and went 0-5. He reported feeling fatigued after the game. He'll continue alternating DHing and catching. He's been struggling at the plate against prospect pitching.

Liriano and Perkins are throwing and making progress.

Nishioka is playing in the field in extended spring training, but he's also still struggling at the plate.

Here We Go Again...DL Report

The Twins have placed LHP Francisco Liriano on the DL retroactive to May 23rd with left shoulder inflammation. This doesn't come as too much of a surprise as he's been experiencing soreness since he pulled himself out of Saturday's start. Like I mentioned last time, an MRI showed inflammation and maybe a bit of tendinitis. According to the StarTribune's Joe Christensen, Gardy is hopeful he'll only miss one more start.

Anthony Swarzak took a no-hit bid into the seventh inning in a spot start replacing Liriano on Saturday. Swarzak will start in Liriano's place again on Thursday.

The Twins called up RHP Anthony Slama from AAA Rochester to replace him on the roster.

Other transactions:

The Twins activated LHP Jose Mijares off the DL who will be available Monday.

The sent down LHP Dusty Hughes to AAA to make room.

Updates:

Joe Mauer continues to play extended spring training games. Mauer has been DHing rather than catching due to some shoulder soreness. I think I remember reading somewhere that Gardy hinted that maybe they'll send Mauer to AAA at some point to face better pitching, but I don't remember where I saw that.

Tsuyoshi Nishioka has been playing both 2nd base and shortshop in extended spring training. He's eligible to return June 7.

Glen Perkins could begin throwing again in a couple days.

Also watching:

Jason Kubel hurt his left foot trying to bring back a home run by Victor Martinez in Monday's game. X-rays showed no breaks, but he is wearing a boot. He said it's the top of his foot, not the ankle or the toes.

Bah!

So just when we fans get all excited and begin to believe that things were looking up, then WHAP! we're slapped with more mediocrity.

This series did feature some timely hits, homeruns even, but those were countered with lame strategy and even lamer pitching. Oh, and don't even get me started on the defense. Really?!

It's sad that the team needs the death of a legend to motivate them. It's even sadder when that doesn't even last more than three games.

Ok, so I'll cut myself short again. I don't want to rant and rave like a crazy woman. But, I tell ya', I'm this close...

Let's hope this upcoming home stand will be better. Much better.
~~~

Check out what I wrote over at From The Third Baseline regarding the players who might be traded if the Twins are sellers at the trade deadline.

~~~

DL News:

Glen Perkins has been placed on the DL with a strained right oblique. This is kind of a blow to the Twins because he was just establishing himself as a reliable set-up man. However, his reliability may have cost him; it was beginning to seem like Gardy was over-using him. In fact, my buddy Andrew predicted it on Twitter (he tweeted this just as Perkins was coming out of the 'pen on Saturday's game).

The Twins recalled Dusty Hughes to take his spot.

Also watching:

Kevin Slowey is scheduled to have an MRI on his abdominal area on Monday in the Twin Cities.

In better news:

Jim Thome and Jason Repko are ready to play and have been activated for Monday's game. Ben Revere and Luke Hughes have been re-assigned to AAA Rochester to make room.

Updates:

No new news on Tsuyoshi Nishioka.

Joe Mauer has been increasing his baseball activities, donning catching gear, blocking balls, etc. Still no timetable for his return.

Notes: Jan. 23, 2011

Wow. A lot happened over the last week.

On Monday, Matt Capps and Glen Perkins avoided arbitration and signed one-year contracts. Perkins signed for $700,000. Fine. He's cheap. He's left-handed. He's breathing. The Twins seem to have a bit more faith in him than I do. Whatever.

Meanwhile, Capps is getting $7.15 million. Yikes. That's a lot of money for a set-up guy. I understand that the Twins wanted some insurance for Joe Nathan as he recovers from elbow surgery, but, wow. The Twins must've thought that Capps would get at least that much money in arbitration, or else they wouldn't have offered it to him. Personally, I kind of would've liked to see them forget about Capps and re-sign Brian Fuentes in that role. Capps does have the benefit of being young, so that's good. He must have some spark that Bill Smith sees that I don't yet. But, I'm sure he'll be all right.

~~~

Speaking of Brian Fuentes, he signed with the A's. Sounds like he'll be a set-up guy for Andrew Bailey. The A's are really putting together a nice bullpen, which includes a number of former Twins: Grant Balfour, Craig Breslow, and now Fuentes.

~~~

On Thursday, the Twins re-signed Carl Pavano. Finally. For several weeks, in fact seemingly every week since the Twins offered arbitration in early December, we heard that Pavano would decide "by the end of the week." But, it was worth the wait; he'll be a Twin for two more years.

This deal had "meant to be" written all over it. The money is fair ($8 million this year, and $8.5 million next with a chance for an extra $500,000 based on innings pitched), and Carl really wanted multiple years. Not only that, he keeps saying in interviews that Minnesota is where he wants to be and that the Twins have a great bunch of guys. Even Jim Thome made sure he knew he should come back. He wants to be here and he's wanted.

Surprisingly, as the deal was nearing completion, word came out that the Yankees had been interested in him and even offered big money for his services. Surprising because the last time the Yankees wanted him, it didn't work out so well -- four years, nine wins, and lots of money is not a formula for love in NY. The manager, teammates, and fans grew quite weary of his injuries and apparent inability to heal and they came to believe he was a lazy bum. The Yankees and their fans demand nothing less than excellence, and they didn't get it with Carl.

Apparently, however, Brian Cashman believed in him and maintained an amicable relationship over the years. The Yankees are desperate for a reliable starting pitcher, and any other guy with Carl's credentials would've been a shoe-in. However, the actual Carl would've needed barrels of excellence in order to earn trust and be accepted; it would've been quite unfriendly there. Even now, with Carl nestled safely in the bosom of friendly Twins Territory, Yankee fans are, shall we say, venting their frustrations all over Facebook and Twitter as only New Yorkers can.

And even more surprisingly, Carl was willing to give it a try in New York, perhaps to quiet some lingering regrets. That is, until the Twins threw in a second year to their offer. Then the pieces fell into place. He seems genuinely happy to be back. And the fans kind of dig him too.

Here are some interview videos from FSN.

Notice the 'stache is gone? He admitted in an interview that if it does make a comeback, it has to be a surprise. I have no doubt that, come mid-season, when the team needs a rallying cry, a gimmick, a talisman, a 'Staches for Success campaign, it'll come out of hiding.

~~~

On Friday, Nick Punto signed with the St. Louis Cardinals. Too bad; I prefer him off the bench over Tolbert or Plouffe. Sure, there's no doubt our Little Nicky Punto divided Twins fans like no other player, but his defense was a lot of fun to watch. Sure, he didn't have the best batting average in the world, but his defense was a lot of fun to watch. Sure, he made some baserunning blunders, but his defense was a lot of fun to watch. Sure, he dove headfirst into first base, but...well, you get the point.

Good luck, Nicky. Oh and Cardinals fans, you'll appreciate his work ethic and hustle.

~~~

Off-season crocheting update:

Another scarf for the Scarves for Special Olympics Project.

Angels at Twins: Royal Love

Recap:
Friday -- Angels 2 - Twins 7
Saturday -- Angels 9 - Twins 3
Sunday -- Angels 0 - Twins 4

Record: 72-52; 5 games ahead

I'm in a loving mood this morning. So I thought I'd spread some around...

Brian Duensing -- Aww, honey. It looks like you're all growed up to be a real pitcher. Also, it made my heart sing when you tried so valiantly to come in for the ninth. I'm so proud.
Jim Thome -- Another triple -- your second of the year. I love triples. It's so cute when you have to run.
Jason Kubel -- Ok, so home runs aren't quite as adorable as triples, I do still love them when you hit them. So keep it up.
Any Lefthanded Person Not Named Glen Perkins -- I love you because I honestly think you might be able to help the bullpen. With Mahay and Mijares hurt, and Glen Perkins being (ack) Glen Perkins, you've got a real shot.
Scott Baker -- Rocking the goatee and pitching shutout innings. Very sexy indeed.
Danny Valencia -- That home run was pretty impressive. And you're so cute, I could just give you a big squeeze (in a totally non-creepy way, of course).
Michael Cuddyer -- You not only fought off like 692 pitches from Jered Weaver -- some of which are one you typically strike out on -- and then finally hitting a juicy double, you also sacrificed your ego and intentionally looked silly on the basepaths so that Kubel could score from first. Also, did you see what you did to Weaver's face? I thought his forehead was going to burst. Bonus love for that.
Kevin Slowey -- Get well soon, honey. Again.

And, last but not least, The Kansas City Royals -- You took an excruciatingly cruel scheduling snafu against the White Sox, and beat them two of three. In extra innings. For all three games. All within 24 hours. Thank you.

Is Glen Perkins the Old Maid of Baseball?

Picture of Glen's face courtesy of Betsy

The rest of the image courtesy of me using Word

Remember playing Old Maid when you were a kid? You don't want to get stuck with the Old Maid card, and if you have it, you rely on the other players to take it away from you. No one wants the Old Maid.

Earlier in the season, the Twins tried to trade Glen Perkins to the Padres for 3B Kevin Kouzmanoff. This got many Twins bloggers and Twitter-atzi (the correct term is "tweep," but I hate that word for some reason) licking their chops. Rightly so -- the Twins need a third-baseman, and they have a slight glut of pitching. Fair enough.

However, the Padres wanted more and wound up trading Kouz to the A's. Ok.

When I first read the news, my very first thought wasn't "oh bummer, Kouz would've been great for the Twins." That was my second thought. Nope; my first thought was "oh crappola, Perkins is still on the team." It's kind of sad that I immediately went there, but I'm willing to bet I'm not the only one who thought that.

So, the Padres didn't want him. I don't think the Twins want him. That's pretty bad, considering he's young, left-handed, and (presumably) breathing.

Why? It's not that he's an inconsistent pitcher. There are plenty of those who don't stir a ton of ire.

It's because he's a selfish baby. Now I don't want to be overly mean, but sometimes I gotta call 'em like I see 'em. He mysteriously claims a shoulder injury after, not one, but two rotten outings. So either he failed to say something before the games because he was only interested in doing what was best for him, or he was making excuses for lame performances. Doesn't even matter why; it's poor either way. Although, the Twins sent him to a specialist to figure out what was going on, who didn't find anything wrong.

But then to top it off, after the Twins sent to the minors to rehab that said injured shoulder, he cried and bitched that it ruined his major league service time to make him eligible for arbitration. Way to piss off the bosses, dork.

So now both the Twins and Perkins are stuck. Perkins's reputation precedes him in any trade negotiations, and teams are leery of his antics. And if he stays with the Twins, he'll have some 'splainin' to do -- to the team and the fans.

From where I stand, if he's on the Twins Opening Day roster, he'll have to absolutely burn it up in order to win me over again. It might happen; I have my doubts.

~~~~

Of course, because it took me two days to write this post, I've been outdone. BP has a much better and more elegant post, so make sure you read that too.

~~~

A true story about that picture of Perkins's face: I was with Betsy when she took that photo. We were at one of the Twins Unplugged events. After the Q and A session, in which she took like a million pictures, she talked Cuddy into performing a card trick for her. As I was trying to sneak my way into a spot to take pictures, I stomped directly on Glen's foot. I apologized, but he gave me the stink-eye anyway. Ex-cuuuuuse me!

So we've never been the best of friends.

Embarrassing Much?

Seriously? Did that really just happen? You mean this stinking awful rotten series wasn't a horrible nightmare? Yikes.

Recap:
Monday: Do you even want to know? Ugly ugly ugly.
Tuesday: Twins 3 - A's 2
Wednesday: Even uglier than Monday's

Ok, so it's over. Put it in the past.

Besides, I don't have anything to say that wouldn't be incredibly depressing or offensive (Hi Mom!). So I'll just leave it alone.

~~~

Well, wait. I do want to say something about the series. I have some thoughts about The Play. You know The Play -- the one at home plate with Cuddyer, and the bad call, and the resulting punch in the proverbial gut? Well, I don't actually want to talk about The Play; I want to talk about The Fallout From The Play.

Gardy wants baseball to adopt a "red flag" ruling like football has -- a way to announce to the officials that the manager begs to differ with the call and would like them to take a look at the film. I don't agree. Nope, not at all.

I'm against instant-replay, and I have been for a long time. I am willing to tolerate the current homerun-or-not-fair-or-foul replay baseball has -- there aren't umpires at the fair poles, and it might be hard to see that far away. However, I really can't stand the thought of any more possible instances.

I know the idea of IR is to "get the call right." However, there is every reason to believe that a play at home plate, where an umpire resides the whole game, will be called correctly 99.9% of the time. In this particular case, the umpire was out of position to make a good call. His bad. Yeah, I'm mad at him, and he should probably be disciplined for the gaffe, but in reality, he screwed up -- nothing more. And nothing more should be made of it. Who hasn't messed up the job? (No, please don't ask my boss if I have. He might enjoy relating those stories too much.)

It's understandable to react like Gardy did. But the true test would be to ask him if the tables were turned and we WON on a blown call, would he feel the same way. I can't speak for him, but I kind of doubt it.

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Keeping Up on the Bull Pen Revolving Door:

After Wednesday's game, Kevin Mulvey was sent down and Jesse Crain was called back up.

Oh, it sounds like Joe Crede and/or Glen Perkins might land on the DL. There seems to be a shoulder virus going around.

St. Louis or Bust!

Just back from my trip to St. Louis. I wanted to let everyone know that we're home safely (hi Mom!). It's kind of late, so I'll make this brief. I'll post some pictures and travel notes as soon as I get a chance (hoping for tomorrow).

Recap:
Friday: Twins 3 - Cardinals 1
Saturday: Twins 3 - Cardinals 5
Sunday: Twins 6 - Cardinals 2

All in all, it was a great trip. We toured the Anheuser-Busch brewery, which was very interesting. We even got to sample some beer right out of the vat, just before it went to packaging -- very fresh. We missed out on a stadium tour (tickets were sold out), but we got there early enough to walk around. It's a beautiful place, and the city is all decked out for the All-Star Game. I loved it.

Friday's game was fun. It was hot, but not unbearable. We sat behind some really friendly Cards fans who were impressed with Perkins.

Saturday's game, on the other hand, was still fun, but the heat was awful. Our seats were directly in the sun. We could only sit there for the first two innings before I started to feel ill. We watched the rest of the game standing in the concourse area, but that was just fine -- it was shaded, there was a railing to lean on, and we could see everything. I'm willing to bet those spots are the "standing room only" spots. I wish the game would've turned out differently, but I wasn't totally upset. I admire Albert Pujols, so it was a little fun to watch him have a good day.

We were driving through Iowa during Sunday's game. Again, I was thankful for the XM radio. Listing to the STL feed made me think that the older man (I don't remember their names) must've had more than one cigarette and more than one scotch in his lifetime. I was pleased with Liriano's performance.

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A few things I learned on this trip:

• Hubby and I are smarter than our TomTom.
• Breweries make hubby very, very happy.
• The Cardinals struggle with left-handed pitching (according to several fans I met). Good thing we threw both ours at them.
  
• There is a "Red Car Club" (a group of retired couples who drive cool red covertibles) following the Twins on the MIL-STL-KC road trip. (I want to be them when I retire!)
• Tickets to the All Star Game events are still available behind home plate...for $13,500 a seat. (I could almost buy one of those aforementioned red convertibles for that.)
• I am a heat-wimp. I knew I was a cold-wimp, but being a heat-wimp is news to me.
• Cardinals fans really hate it when pitchers walk Albert Pujols, even when they don't mean to.

And my very favorite moment of the trip...

• Friday, when Joe Nathan faced Albert Pujols in the ninth with a man on second and nobody out. The entire stadium was rocking, cheering for Albert. And when Nathan struck him out, all the Twins fans went nuts. A terrific baseball moment.
  

Pirates and then Unplugged

First of all, let me apologize in advance for the lameness of this post. It's late and I still have stuff to do before I go to bed.

The reason I couldn't post earlier is because I went to the Champps in Maple Grove to see Michael Cuddyer, Glen Perkins, and Scott Baker at one of their Unplugged events. More about that later.

First the Pirates series.

Recap:
Tuesday: Twins 8 - Pirates 2
Wednesday: Twins 2 - Pirates 8
Thursday: Twins 5 - Pirates 1

So, didn't it seem like Tuesday's and Wednesday's game were mirror images of each other? I mean, more so than the score shows?

It was nice that the boys gave Perkins some run support on his first day back from the DL on Tuesday.

I am a little annoyed with the bullpen for Wednesday's performance. When Liriano left, we were still "in the game" -- only down by two. And then the bullpen stunk it up. Oh well, it wouldn't have mattered anyway, because the rest of the boys weren't doing much either.

Blackburn must have been annoyed with the bullpen too, because Thursday he took matters into his own hands and tossed a beautiful complete game. And it was oh so close to a shutout, with the Pirates hitting a double and then a single with two outs in the ninth to score that only run. Nice work Blackie. I'll take a performance like that anytime.

Unplugged

So I met up with fellow bloggers For the Love of the Game, Lipgloss & Baseball, KC Baseball Blog, and Tricia for the Unplugged appearance at Champps. It was a great time. I loved meeting the gals. Cuddy, Perk, and Scotty were fun. It was packed. Some old woman told us we were making too much noise, but we totally weren't; she was an old hag.

I only had my lame cell phone camera so these are the only pictures I have:

There they are waaaay in the back. Cuddy's wearing orange. Scotty's to his left, and Perk is on the far left.

Standing in line for autographs, but we were denied. Boo. :-(

But Cuddy totally made up for it by doing a magic trick with For the Love.

By the way, go visit For the Love's blog because she had a kickass camera that had a kickass zoom and some crazy rapid motion thing and she took a zillion kickass pictures. Her's are way better than mine.

Regarding Sweeps, HBPs, and New Guys

I love a good sweep when it's my team doing the cleaning up.

Recap
Friday: Twins 11 - Brewers 3
Saturday: Twins 6 - Brewers 2
Sunday: Twins 6 - Brewers 3

And a lot of Twins going Boom!

I'm especially impressed with Justin's grand-slam on Sunday because it came immediately after Milwaukee pitcher hit his second Twins Joe in the hands (both Joe Crede and Joe Mauer were HBP, and Crede had to take himself out of the game because of it). Gotta love how the big Canadian makes a statement. I hope both Joes' hands will be ok.

Oh, and Gardy actually won an argument with an umpire. When Joey Mauer got hit by the pitch, the umpire initially called it a foul ball. Joe showed the bruise, and Gardy marched out to make the case. Well, apparently, either the bruise or Gardy's power of persuasion won the umpire over, and Joe took his base.

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No one in my family is quite as, ahem, passionate about baseball as I am, but they generously put up with me. They all actually have lives that don't include the Twins (I don't get it), and they don't really watch the games with me all that often. They're fans, but they don't live and die with every victory and defeat. And they don't really spend time keeping up with the news of injuries, releases, and call-ups.

So, this weekend as I was watching the Twins games and members of my family were walking through the room, the phrase I heard most was, "now, who's this guy?" It would happen while a newly called-up pitcher was warming up or pitching. I heard it a lot.

So, in case your families are like mine and don't know what's going on with the pitching staff, here's a recap:

Glen Perkins is on disabled list, so...
Sean Henn (or Henny-Penny as the guys at Pulling a Blyleven and I have dubbed him) is in the bullpen and pitched on Tuesday against the White Sox and was seen warming up Saturday.

Craig Breslow was placed on waivers and picked up by Oakland, so...
Anthony Swarzak pitched a seven-inning gem on Saturday (I think he looks like a keeper).

Got it?

Red, Rumor, Champagne, Hate, and Hockey

I feel like blogging today, but I don't really have anything original to say. So I'll just comment on other people's material. Yeah, it's lazy. You got a problem with that? No? Good.


Twins pick up Redmond’s option -- Let me just say "Yay!" Ok, so this was a no-brainer. He's a great back-up catcher, and there really isn't anyone else who can step in and fill that spot. Plus he's fairly cheap and it really seems like he wants to be here. He seems like a great teammate and an all-around great guy. I'm especially pleased that the organization didn't drag its feet and wait until the last minute to pull the trigger. I imagine he's pleased by that too.

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Twins dealing Delmon Young or Michael Cuddyer (rumor) -- Ok, before the Twins do this (the tidbit also mentions adding a starting pitcher in the trade package), they had better clear it with me first. I don't mind if they trade Delmon, if they can get somebody (or sombodies) good, but I will not allow them to trade my boyfriend. Period. And the only starting pitcher I'm willing to part with is Glen Perkins, and I still wouldn't be thrilled about it. (Yes, I am considering the source of this rumor, so I won't really worry about it too much.)

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Baseball is overserved from champagne celebrations -- I agree. How special is the champagne celebation after winning the World Series if you've already had four in the last month or so. I mean, doesn't it get old after the first two? I propose that only two be allowed -- after clinching a playoff berth (because that's why they play the 162 games), and after winning the World Series (because that's why they play at all). In between, they should just celebrate with some nice hors d'oeuvres and an ice cream social. Or maybe even chocolate covered strawberries.

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In the comments section of this nicely done LCS Preview, the folks over at Alright Hamilton! are having fun opining on who they hate worse, the Yankees or the White Sox. Oooh, good question. I hate them both. I hate Yankees because, as a fan of a small market team, I have an obligation to hate them. Really, I hate the attitude that their ownership (and many of their fans) has that they deserve to win because they have "money" and "tradition" and other such B.S. They're like that rich a-hole in high school who looked down his nose at everyone and who everyone followed hoping to be popular by osmosis. But, as a team of players, I respect them. I don't like them, but I do respect them.

On the other hand, I just plain hate the White Sox. And there's more to it than the fact that I'm still bitter*. They're a bunch a whining babies (A.J., Buerhle, Jenks, for example). Their manager doesn't even like them very much -- if he did, he wouldn't be complimenting the Twins so much. But the big thing is that they and their fans hate the Twins right back (well, except Ozzie -- he wuvs the Twins). They're like the kid in high school who is a jerk to everyone but can't figure out why nobody likes him. Oh, and that whole "black out" thing -- didn't they steal that from some college football team?

*Yes, I'm still bitter. And if you're thinking, "what are you? 12? Get over it." I say, "when it comes to the Evil Ugly White Sox, yes, I'm 12. Actually 11 1/2. And no, I'm not getting over it. So there."

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And on a non-baseball note, this is for my bud Duch, who is looking forward to Saturday night:

Are You Tired of Reading About This Trip Yet?

Well, this is the last installment.

Friday: Twins 4 - Royals 1
Saturday: Twins 7 - Royals 3

We finished up our trip by meeting a bunch of our friends in Kansas City to see the Twins face the Royals. We all had a BLAST!

That stadium is fantastic, and they've made some upgrades since we were there last. First, there's the ginormous scoreboard. It's beautiful. They also improved the sound system to match the scoreboard. It was all very cool.

The games were pretty fun. I would say Saturday's was more fun than Friday's, but I liked that the Twins won both the games. The Twins fans in the crowd were certainly more rowdy on Saturday than they were on Friday. And there were a TON of Twins fans. But the Royals fans were very gracious and friendly towards us all, so it was great competition.

The stadium also has other fun things like wiener races, singing "Friends in Low Places", and fireworks after Friday games. And the ushers don't seem to mind if there are beach balls floating around. On Saturday, they handed out Larry Gura bobbleheads, and we each got one. I'll have to Google him to learn more about him. There is little honey pot on the pitching mound with him.

The tailgating was great too. Lots of food and lots of fun with our friends. We also found out that Saturday was unofficially "wife-beater shirt" night, so there were a bunch of people wearing their trashy tank tops and mullet wigs. In fact, there was a whole bus load of them partying in the parking lot. What a hoot!



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OK, now let's catch up on what I missed while I was gone...

*The Twins dropped two of three to Seattle. Pthpthpthpth. 'Nuf said about that.

*Cuddy broke his foot during his rehab stint in Rochester. Good Grief. Cuddy honey, what is the matter? Stop breaking body parts, would you please? I suppose he's probably out for the rest of the season. I guess that answers the question about what to do with D-Span. Hmmm. Wait a minute. You don't think Denard is behind this, do you?

*While we were driving home on Sunday, we were listening to the Royals radio guys broadcast the game. Boy, do they ever have a love affair with the Twins. They were going on and on about how the Twins have great pitching and do all the little things right. And then the Twins proceeded to prove them wrong.

*Speaking of that dumb game, that's totally my bad. We stopped at Dairy Queen and the Twins were leading 4-2. Apparently, while I was enjoying my medium dipped cone, all hell broke loose with the "doing the little things right" and our otherwise stellar defense coughed up the tying run. The whole thing gave me a stomach ache; I should've ordered a small cone.

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Twins 4 - Yankees 0

*Way to go Glen Perkins -- both on the birth of your daughter and on pitching a gem against the Yankees. Good couple of days.

*Adam "Adam" Everett hit a homerun off Ponson? Hahaha. Well, that just what the Twins needed. Nice work. And a good way to make up for that throwing away the game thing Sunday.

*And the Red Sox just knocked off the White Sox, so the Twins are back in first place again. For now.

A Stars and Sweeps Weekend

Friday: Twins 12 - Cleveland 3
Saturday: Twins 9 - Cleveland 6
Sunday: Twins 4 - Cleveland 3

Twins sweep 3 game series.

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First of all, a great big hug and kiss for our All Stars -- Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau, and Joe Nathan. Of course, we all knew they're All Stars, but it's nice that the fans (in Joey's case), the players (Justin's), and Mr. Francona (Nathan's) agreed. Way to go guys, and have a bunch of fun.

I do, however, have a piece of advice for Justin: Please don't participate in the Homerun Derby. I actually believe in the whole "ruining your swing" curse, and your homerun swing can ill afford ruining. Not that I don't appreciate all the RBI and the defense, I really do, but let's face it, your homerun production is down this year. Let's not give it any reason to get worse. Thanks.

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Now on to the Indians series -- Very cool. I loved the homers by LNP, Delmon, and Joey. I loved how Scott Baker and Glen Perkins didn't get rattled after having bad innings. And I really liked coming from behind and winning. However, to be honest, I didn't think there was a prayer in Sunday's game after the Twins were down 3 - 0. I'm glad the players didn't think that way.

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Non-baseball alert: For the first time in my life, I was absolutely captivated by the Men's Finals at Wimbledon on Sunday. Now I haven't really followed tennis since Johnny Mac's days, and even then it was merely a passing interest. Since then, pretty much everything I know about the current players I've learned by osmosis.

But Federer and Nadal really made it exciting. I was pulling for Nadal, and he'd get oh-so close to winning, but couldn't quite seal the deal because Federer is so good. Too bad I couldn't watch the entire 5+ hour affair; we had to leave. I was glad to learn that Nadal finally pulled it off in the end.

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As I write this, ESPN is reporting that the Indians will be trading noted Twins hater Captain Cheeseburger* (a.k.a. C.C. Sabathia) to the Brewers for a minor leaguer and prospects. It looks like he'll have to find a National League middle infielder to eat -- Mike Fontenot might do. LNP must be very relieved.

* This is totally a Bat-Girl.com reference. If you're not familiar with Bat-Girl, well, sorry.

As Relaxing as a Bubble Bath

Twins 11 - Texas 4

Aaaaaaah. Wasn't that nice? Finally, a game that I could just have on TV and not worry about it. Every time I looked up, I saw another Twin getting another hit. Very nice. Perhaps yesterday's exciting escapade woke them up a little.

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A big "atta boy" to Glen Perkins for his first major league win. Nice work. And a big shout out goes to Brian Bass for finishing the game and letting all the other pitchers rest.

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I'm super bummed to read that Matt "Tigger" Tolbert needs surgery on his thumb. I was really rooting for him to do well here. It sounds like the ligament separated from the bone. OUCH! ICK! Here's hoping he recovers quickly.

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I was happy to see that the official picture of Sidney Ponson, who's starting for the Rangers tomorrow, has been updated to this year's version.

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Time for bed; last night's game really took it out of me.