Quick Notes: Nov. 21, 2010

Hearty congratulations to Ron Gardenhire for winning the AL Manager of the Year. It was very well deserved and very long overdue. He's always done a great job making my favorite team win more often than they lose.

Now, I hate to pee in his champagne because I honestly believe he deserves the award, but if he wants to ever win it again, he and the team need to solve the riddle of getting out of the first round of the playoffs. I'm not one to blame the manager for the performance of the players, but I do have a feeling there's just something more he could do to lead, guide, encourage, mentor, fire-up, or otherwise push these guys in these situations. Of course winning is a team effort, and the award is supposed to be for regular-season accomplishments, but these first-round faceplants are pretty memorable and voters won't be able to get them out of the backs of their heads.

But, yes, 2010 was a great year for the Twins, thanks in large part to their great manager.

And as a reward, the Twins extended his, and the other coaches', contracts. Yay.

~~~

The Twins another minor-league signing, 1B Jeff Bailey, this week. It seems as if they're concentrating on beefing up the Red Wings sqaud some more. This is good because they had a horrible season last year. The Rochester fans deserve better, and the Twins could use more depth.

The Twins also added a four minor-leaguers to the 40-man roster to protect them from the upcoming Rule 5 draft: RHP David Bromberg, OF Joe Benson, 1B Chris Parmelee, and OF Rene Tosoni.

~~~

Scarf-zilla update: it's done! It's ridiculous, but it's done! It can warm four people at once, but it's done!

Now, for some smaller, more manageable projects.

~~~

I hope you have a fantastic and safe Thanksgiving. I'm really looking forward to enjoying my mother-in-law's cabbage rolls.  

Twins at Indians - Juggling

Recap:
Friday -- Twins 9 - Indians 3
Saturday -- Twins 4 - Indians 5 (11)
Sunday -- Twins 8 - Indians 3

Twins take series 2-1
Record 16-9

~~~

When Joe Mauer gets hurt, the entire baseball world takes notice. ESPN almost made it sound like the apocalypse in Minnesota. Ok, so I exaggerate.

Joe's injury, which I've read as either a bone bruise or stone bruise (doesn't really matter which) of his heel, that he suffered on Friday sounds pretty series and awfully painful. It'll take rest and ice to heal, but it doesn't sound like it's going to be quick. This after suffering a swollen toe (that needed to be drained by drilling a hole in the nail - ick). Someone get some steel-toed boots for our favorite catcher.

So, while we wait to see if Joe's problem is DL-worthy, poor Gardy has to do some roster-juggling.

On Saturday, the Twins were essentially left with one catcher - Drew Butera. It turned out fine, but there was a scary moment in the 10th when Butera was leveled at the plate by Lou Marson (nice play, by the way, by both Span and Butera).

Well, we all know that if Gardy had his druthers, he'd have like five catchers on the bench. Obviously, having only one wouldn't do. So up comes Wilson Ramos.

But who to send down? Well, Neshek struggled. Once. His last time out. So let's send him down. (Yeah, nevermind the fact that -- ahem -- other members of the bullpen have struggled too.)

Oh, but wait. Neshek says his finger still hurts. Really? Even though he reported that it was a-ok? Fine. To the DL with him. (I guess that's one way to avoid AAA.)

And how about Wilson Ramos? I guess he wants to prove some kind of point about staying in the bigs, huh? Four hits in his major league debut. The last Twin to do that was Kirby Puckett in 1984.

Seems like if Wilson had his druthers, he'd force Gardy to do more juggling when Joe comes back.

Regarding Sweeps, HBPs, and New Guys

I love a good sweep when it's my team doing the cleaning up.

Recap
Friday: Twins 11 - Brewers 3
Saturday: Twins 6 - Brewers 2
Sunday: Twins 6 - Brewers 3

And a lot of Twins going Boom!

I'm especially impressed with Justin's grand-slam on Sunday because it came immediately after Milwaukee pitcher hit his second Twins Joe in the hands (both Joe Crede and Joe Mauer were HBP, and Crede had to take himself out of the game because of it). Gotta love how the big Canadian makes a statement. I hope both Joes' hands will be ok.

Oh, and Gardy actually won an argument with an umpire. When Joey Mauer got hit by the pitch, the umpire initially called it a foul ball. Joe showed the bruise, and Gardy marched out to make the case. Well, apparently, either the bruise or Gardy's power of persuasion won the umpire over, and Joe took his base.

~~~~~~~~

No one in my family is quite as, ahem, passionate about baseball as I am, but they generously put up with me. They all actually have lives that don't include the Twins (I don't get it), and they don't really watch the games with me all that often. They're fans, but they don't live and die with every victory and defeat. And they don't really spend time keeping up with the news of injuries, releases, and call-ups.

So, this weekend as I was watching the Twins games and members of my family were walking through the room, the phrase I heard most was, "now, who's this guy?" It would happen while a newly called-up pitcher was warming up or pitching. I heard it a lot.

So, in case your families are like mine and don't know what's going on with the pitching staff, here's a recap:

Glen Perkins is on disabled list, so...
Sean Henn (or Henny-Penny as the guys at Pulling a Blyleven and I have dubbed him) is in the bullpen and pitched on Tuesday against the White Sox and was seen warming up Saturday.

Craig Breslow was placed on waivers and picked up by Oakland, so...
Anthony Swarzak pitched a seven-inning gem on Saturday (I think he looks like a keeper).

Got it?

Weekend in Cleveland

When they were in Cleveland this weekend, some of the Twins players noticed that the visitors' clubhouse and dugout were very dusty. They graciously offered to sweep things up on Sunday, but the Indians declined. Oh well.

Recap:
Friday: Twins 5 - Cleveland 1
Saturday: Twins 7 - Cleveland 1
Sunday: Twins 2 - Cleveland 4
Twins take series 2 - 1

So we didn't sweep the Indians. It's ok, it was still a pretty fun series. Even the loss wasn't sooo bad -- at least it wasn't a blowout. Thanks to Blackie and K-Slo for pitching gems. It was so fun to watch you guys pitch, so please accept a little gem as a gift ◊ (<-- the closest thing to a gem I can come up with). And thanks to the hitters for, well, hitting...especially Jose Morales on Sunday. Now, our boys are back home for four three with the Rays. I hate even-numbered series, but whatever. [EDIT: Ok, I don't know what I was dreaming when I wrote this; it's only a THREE game series. It probably had to do with the fact that every other weekday series this month was even numbered. While it's true that I don't like even-numbered game series, I don't have to worry about it now. Sorry for the mess up.]

~~~~~~~~~~


File It Under "I" For Interesting (or Inane, whichever you like):
(Some random stuff from MLB that's been cluncking around in my head)

• I read in the book The Yankee Years that, according to Mike Mussina (I think it was Mike Mussina...could've been Jason Giambi...the book is way over in the other room and I don't feel like moving my laptop, taking off my groovy Twins blanket, and closing the recliner just to walk over there to get it and flip through all those pages to find it...but ANYHOO...), some Yankees players nicknamed the Disabled List "the Pavano." Yeah, the same Carl Pavano who started for the Indians on Saturday. And after watching that little hissy fit he threw in the dugout after he was taken out of the game on Saturday, I can see why.
• Did you know there was such a thing as a catcher's balk? I didn't until Monday when I heard about it on the radio. The talk-show hosts were saying that during an intentional walk, you see the catcher stand way out of the catcher's box to accept the pitch, but that's a balk. The catcher is supposed to remain in the catcher's box until the ball leaves the pitcher's hand. And they were complaining that it never gets called. It's under rule 4.03 (a). Here's a link.
• This blurb in the today's paper almost made me spew my morning coffee out of laughter:

Gardenhire read a blurb in USA Today that noted a difference of opinion about Scott Baker's struggles.

"I gave him an out," Gardenhire said, clearly amused. "I said it was a mechanical thing, and [Baker] says it's not mechanics. Then the only thing I can say is, 'You just stink.'"

Gardenhire said that's something he learned from Lou Piniella. If a player disagrees with a manager's theory on why he's struggling, "then he stinks."

"You give them an out," Gardenhire said, "they change it up, then OK, he stinks right now. Not all the time. But right now he does. And he needs to un-stink."

Don't we all Gardy, don't we all.

~~~~~~~~

One More Thing to Share:

Remember a while ago when I was bummed about writer's block and I asked Ms. Muse to pay me a visit? Well she did!

Actually, Ms. Muse is a cool blog by Tina that features some great photography. She also has a personal style blog called The English Muse.

Thanks Tina for stumbling upon my blog. And the next time I need some inspiration, I'll stop by -- or even more often than that.

Winter Blahs

A few random thoughts on a wintry day:

Winter Meetings: Baseball's Winter Meetings start this week in Vegas. That's cool for everyone who's going -- at least the weather's not crappy there. But as exciting as it sounds, I'll be surprised if it'll be exciting for Twins fans. Remember last year's winter meetings? The Twins did absolutely nothing, and that's when Johan Santana was on the trading block. I could be wrong, but I just have a feeling that Mr. Smith won't do anything notable.

Much Ado About Molehills: A whole bunch of virtual ink has been spilled about the fact that Gardy said his preferred outfield would consist of Span, Gomez, and Cuddyer, which leaves out Young. Speculations have ranged from "the Twins are thinking about trading Delmon," to "Gardy's trying to light a fire under Delmon," to "they're trying to increase Cuddyer's trade value." I say, "whatever." Gardy said what he thought, but good fans know that everything is likely to change come spring training. Someone has to be the fourth outfielder, why not Delmon?

Kevin Slowey Interview: I have a subscription to XM radio online and I listen to the MLB channel at work. I usually only listen during the mornings, because they're usually quieter than the afternoons. However, Friday afternoon was unusually quiet, so I put my headphones just in time to hear the guy (I think it was Rob Dibble) say "and now, calling in is Kevin Slowey." Wow, that was lucky. He gave a great interview. He's living with his brother in Atlanta. He mentioned how great it was to watch Greg Maddux and how much he always admired him when Maddux would pitch against the Pirates. He also talked about how much Mike Redmond helps him out by talking about batters and situations, and just brushing his experience off on to the young guys. There was more, but he finshed by saying that he was going to lie around all weekend and watch the Steelers game.

Dude, That's Gotta Hurt: Speaking of XM radio, I was listening earlier this past week. During an update, the guy was listing the NBA games that would be aired that evening. And he said -- I kid you not -- "Chauncey Billups and his Nuggets take on the Spurs." My inner 12-year-old came out, and I literally said out loud to nobody, "did he just say that?" I figure no guy wants his nuggets to have anything to do at all with spurs.

Catching Up on Yesterday's News...

...and the day-before's, and today's.

I'm sure everyone's already heard that Pat-Pat will be out all of 2009. Damn!

And that's all I have to say about that.

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The other day, Tim Lincecum won the NL Cy Young award. I was lucky enough to see him pitch when I visited San Francisco in August. The program I bought had a feature article on him. His delivery is very different than other pitchers, but not like Pat Neshek. He uses his whole body to generate his power -- not just his arm. And he looks like he's about 14 years old. Besides, he's on my cool name roster. If you don't know him, here's a picture I took of him:

From San Francisco Giants

Isn't he cute? (Yes, about thirty seconds after I took this picture, I switched to a seat that didn't have a big-ass railing in my view.)

Congratulations Tim, and congratulations Giants fans.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday, Joe Maddon and Lou Piniella were named Managers of the Year.

Poor Gardy. Always a bridesmaid, never a bride. (I know, I know, it's a awful cliché, but I can't really think of a better metaphor.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other things that made me smile:

• Gardenhire gets 2-year extension from Twins


• Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau win Silver Slugger Awards (although the e-mail I got from the Twins said they won Golden Slugger Awards...sheesh, is it too much to ask to -- I don't know -- proofread?)

Tweet Victory

Twins 9 - White Sox 3

Today on my Twitter page, I started following Joe Cowley from the Chicago Sun Times, just to get an opposing viewpoint. Kind of interesting.

If you don't know Twitter, it's kind of like micro-blogging. You get 140 characters (that's it) to answer the question "what are you doing?" The updates are called "Tweets," and you follow other people's Tweets. It's kind of a neat way to stay connected with folks, or to just follow a popular columnist, blogger, or candidate. I Tweet pretty much everyday. So, in that spirit, I thought I'd express my thoughts about today's game in Tweets.

My tummy is all in knots. Nervous much? And it's so loud in the Dome. I love it!

Hey! How come Vazquez gets that strike call and Baker doesn't. Seems a tad unfair.

Just realized I'm missing a teleconference for work. Yeah, right. Just watch them try to keep me from watching this game.

Woooooooooo! I'm alone in the house and screaming my head off. Nice homer, Kubes!

And Delmon gets a nice hit. BTW: I hate the phrase “good piece of hitting.” Bert just said it like four times in the last 30 seconds.

Good hit, Nicky. Crap Go-Go. Oh, well, nice base running Delmon.

Ok, AJ, how many freaking pitches are you going to foul off? Just miss one! Finally!

Hey! Bernard Berrian is a Twins fan! And I didn't realize he was so good-looking. Well, hello Bernard. :-)

Nice catch Alexi! But I don't think it's really a diving catch like Dick said. More like a bend over and fall down catch.

Kubes gets an “old man triple,” which happens when the outfielder who dives for the ball is too old to make the catch.

And a double by Delmon. I like his little toe dance to keep his foot on the bag and keep from getting tagged out.

Squeeeeeeze! With a head-first slide even. But Bert honey, it's “element of surprise,” not “ultimate of surprise.”

My oh my! The third run of the inning, and there's still only one out. How crazy is the Dome now? Oh yeah, the second steal of the inning.

With two on and no out, that knotty tummy thing is back. Whew, one out, now two. Crap, now bases loaded for AJ. Yes yes! Whew!

Oh hey, new White Sox pitcher. He totally looks like a high-school jock. And Joey welcomes him to the Dome with a double.

Awww! They're replaying Gardy chewing out Alexi for not covering second in the previous half inning. I hope he isn't too tough on him.

Cool! Justin now holds the Twins record for doubles.

Tidy one-two-three innings from Scott Baker are much more calming on my tummy.

What a cute little juggle catch by Scotty. I'm glad he saw the humor in it.

So when the crowd chants “MVP,” does Justin say to himself, “yeah, that's right, they're talking about me”? Nah, he's too humble.

Oh yeah! Back to back homers, baby!

Beauty of a double-play there, Nicky. And, what? Delmon hustled to make a running catch? Wow, this game must really be inspired.

Ahem, j-bro just switched the TV to Playstation “just for a second” like 10 minutes ago. Hurry up and finish, will ya'?

Hah! A fan on the field. So so so stooopid. And so so boooring for those of us watching TV. How long do we have to look at Thome's face?

Well, if I have to watch a Griffey home run, it's not so bad when we're still leading by six after it.

Wow, that was tons of fun. This made the knotty tummy thing totally worth it.

This means it's mathematically impossible for the Sox to clinch at the Dome. Not like they're going to clinch at all.

Oh, on a non-baseball note, Wednesday is “National Punctuation Day.” Celebrate responsibly.

Thrown Away

Twins 4 - Tigers 5

Well, crappola.

It's waaaay more fun to come from behind and win than to go from ahead and lose. And I was planning on writing some cute and clever stuff, but now I just don't feel like it. I was going to say something about how adorable it was that after Go-Go stole third, he had to shake the dirt out of his hair. I was going to mention something about how bad Galarranga's control must be if he tries to hit Joe Mauer and misses -- twice (it's not like Joey's little or anything). I wanted to rip on the Tiger defense because they kinda looked like monkeys chucking the ball around. I planned on giving Denard a "welcome back" pat on the back for that nice defensive play and for hitting that double. Heck, I was even going to defend Gardy for arguing being warned because Glen didn't do anything wrong.

But alas, all my creativity and good will is gone. Jesse, Dennys, and Matty combined to throw it all away. I'm simply much too grumpy now. Is it possible for the bullpen to be too rested?

**Sigh**

Let's get 'em tomorrow, shall we? Please? I'd appreciate it.

Fired Up!

Twins 2 - Nationals 1

I need to make this quick this evening. It's late, I'm exhausted, and I need to get some sleep.

But I wanted to fire off a couple things that are on my mind...

I'm fired up (in the happy way) that Livan had a great performance tonight and the Twins won. He must have meant it when he said that he wanted to do better.

I'm fired up (in the annoyed way) that MLB fined Gardy for "failing to comply with pace of game regulations" last weekend. What? O.M.G. So the umpire makes a questionable call that he has to know will bring the manager out to argue, and the league fines the manager for slowing down the game? I have an idea -- how about the umpires refrain from baiting the players and managers, and that would help a lot. Ridiculous.

I'm fired up (also in the annoyed way) at ESPN's BBTN. They were going over the best web gems of the first half of the season, and our own Nicky Punto was number 1. To be honest, I don't really remember that particular game, but he was playing third base and we were facing the Angels (I think). Anyways, he did one of his patented super-hero, horizontal, diving, simultaneous catch-throw things. It was awesome. But I got fired up when one of the bone-headed former-athlete announcers said something like "What ever happened to him? If he's still in the majors, he's got to be doing that all the time." To which I screamed at the TV "He's on the DL you moron! And when he does play, he DOES do that all the time! Way to know your stuff, dip-[bleep]!!!"

I'm fired up (in an amused way) at our favorite MLB owner, Hank Steinbrenner. He blasted the National League rules after Chien-Ming Wang hurt his foot running the bases. How big of an ego do you have to have to: 1) honestly believe that a freak accident is really a conspiracy against his team, and 2) the rest of the MLB needs to change the rules just for the benefit of his team? What a piece of work.

Alright. No More Ms. Nice-Gal

Saturday: Twins 2 – Yuck Sox 11
Sunday: Twins 2 – Puke Sox 12

Somebody. Please. Stop. The. Bleeding.

You guys...you lollygag the ball around the infield. You lollygag your way down to first. You lollygag in and out of the dugout. You know what that makes you? Lollygaggers! ~Skip. Bull Durham.

This is getting really bad. Really ugly, awfully, disgustingly bad. It’s been well documented that the White Sox have been playing very well since Ozzie Guillen’s profanity-laced hissy fit (by the way ESPN, you can stop talking about it now – we’ve heard it enough). Obviously, it’s time for Gardy to start yelling. LOUD! In case he needs help with what he should say, I offer some suggestions (edited to comply with a PG-13 rating). If nothing else, it gets some stuff off my chest.

To the starting pitchers: Can someone PLEASE stay in the game for longer than, I don’t know, 4 1/3 innings for crissakes? We beg you to go deep into the game. You know the relievers are tired and sore. And yet you insist on serving cookies and getting hit around. I swear, I’m gonna put in Monroe or Macri to pitch. It can’t get any more embarrassing - unless you start pitching without pants. And another thing, why the [bleep] are to pitching to Crede? Apparently the ball looks like a volleyball to him. Pitch around the [bleep]er.

To the batters: Either you swing and miss like [bleep]ing lunatics or you ground out to third. Where’s the power? Where’s the situational hitting? In fact, where’s any kind of hitting at all? You’re batting like you’re blindfolded up there. And you’re leaving men on base all over the place. Are your bats made out of Swiss cheese? Quit being afraid of the ball.

To the defense: Could you start actually reading the ball off the bats? You break in when you should be running out. You dive like [bleep]ing ballerinas. You’re out there running around like you’re herding cats. That is if you’re running after it at all. Start getting some outs, will’ya for crissakes?

To Bill Smith: Remind me again why losing Juan Rincon off waivers is a bad thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aaaah. I feel better now. Do you? Why don’t you give it a try?

Miscellany Medley

I really like the Twins new commercial with Delmon Young. It's my favorite so far. Their ad agency is very clever. However, I have the tiniest of problems. I don't mean to be a clod, but can someone please tell me what Tony Oliva is saying? I've rewound it about 25 times, and I still can't figure it out. I get the gist - "See ball. Hit ball. Something something something big stick" (or is it big steak?). I feel like I'd appreciate it even more if I knew more than the gist and actually knew the words.

Will someone please FedEx an industrial-sized case of Lysol to Fort Meyers and commission a HAZMAT team to clean that clubhouse? First, Rick Anderson had the flu. Then Scottie Baker, who's still fighting it, came down with it - and I mean "down"; he's lost 12 pounds. Now Adam Everett is feeling crappy. Put a stop to it now.

GoGo tweaked his hammy in today's game, but he should be fine according to Joe C. He goes on to say:

Gomez had cramping in his left hamstring, nothing more, and practically begged Gardenhire to make Thursday's trip to Sarasota, Fla. Gardenhire agreed but told Gomez he'd be furious is something more serious happens to his leg.

Heh. Gardy furious, huh? Well, I can't imagine that ever happening.

So, I suppose I need to go out and buy Livan some soccer shoes. Apparently he kicked a bunted ball in the air to Morneau for the out. Howard recaps it nicely. I heard it on the radio, and I thought John Gordon was going to flip. I really hope I can see video of it sometime.

(Click pic to enlarge) I am really looking forward to Opening Day. But I have a glimmer of melancholy that Spring Training will soon be over. Mainly because most of the games take place during the day, and listening to them has been the highlight of my workday. Once the season starts, I'll have to resort to streaming JACK-FM again. Which, by the way, is beginning to wear on me - I'm about ready to go find that annoying disembodied-voice dude and push him down.

Twins Fan Seeks Baseball Boyfriend -- Part II

It's been a month now since I started evaluating my options for a new Baseball Boyfriend (BB). After much thought and consideration, I've narrowed the field of candidates. Five promising prospects survived the first cut.

Ooh, this is going to be fun. I feel a little like Annie Savoy - except without all the cool clothes*.

I've listed them in alphabetical order:

Cuddyer, Michael:

Nickname: Cuddy, Cuddy-honey

Pluses: This man is downright good-looking; gorgeous, even. The dimples, the gentle Southern accent, the quiet confidence are all very attractive qualities. Plus, the whole "don't-even-think-about-taking-an-extra-base-because-I'll-throw-your-ass-out" thing he has going on - very sexy. Plus, I already have the shirt**.

Minus: Ok, this is going to be totally irrational, but I have a real problem with the magician thing. And it's not a "gee honey, I wish you wouldn't do that" problem. It's a "if you do that, I'll have to leave the room and cower in the corner" problem. Such is the nature of phobias I guess.

Gardenhire, Ron:

Nickname: Gardy (nope, I don't have anything more original than that)

Pluses: You gotta love a man in charge. He has fun nicknames for everyone (Mike Lamb = Lammers, Carlos Gomez = Go Go). He has the cutest clichés ("battled his tail off"). And he looks a little like a garden gnome - the friendly, adorable kind, not the creepy kind.

Minus: Like managers in every profession, he doesn't really do anything; he delegates. You won't see him hitting triples, turning double plays, or striking out batters with a nice curveball. He just tells other people to.

Nathan, Joe:

Nickname: Nathanator

Pluses: The best closer ever. And he has a great smile. And the fact that he not only says he wants to be a Twin for a while, he actually proves it by signing a contract that is likely less than what he could have made if he waited to be a free agent.

Minus: One inning, at the end of the game, every once in awhile - I need more commitment than that. And while the twitching is adorable at first, it bothers me after a while.

Punto, Nick:

Nickname: LNP, Little Nicky

Pluses: He is absolutely adorable. He's just got that something. I can't name it. I love the hustle. I really love the defense. I love the sliding headfirst into first.

Minus: Let's be honest: if that batting average doesn't improve this year, he seriously jeopardizes his amount of playing time. Besides, so many guy Twins fans, and radio sports-talk show hosts, seem to throw so much hate at him, I fear I'll grow weary defending him.

Redmond, Mike:

Nickname: Red, Red-Dog

Pluses: This guy seems like he would be fun to go out and have a beer with. I think he would tell great stories. It's clear he loves this game and he loves this team. He's always on the top step of the dugout, cheering for his teammates. And I love his toughness.

Minus: That toughness makes me worry too much. Seriously, how many foul balls can a man take off his head/hands/other before he just breaks? Why does he always get nicked, banged, stung, bruised, battered, knocked, etc.? It's just hard to watch.

*In a serendipitous twist of fate, as I was typing this, I flipped the channels and found Bull Durham airing on AMC.

**The story of the "Cuddy is my boyfriend" shirt: It was 2005, before the Twins were out of it, so the games still mattered. And Bat-Girl was still in the blogging business. It was late in the game; the Twins were down by a run with two runners on. When Cuddy stepped to the plate, I told him, through the TV, "Cuddy honey, if you do something special, I'll buy your shirt." And because he can hear me when I talk through the TV, he smacked a double halfway up the baggie. And because I keep my promises, I bought the shirt, even though Brad Radke was my real boyfriend at the time.

Monday Tidbits

• Livan Hernandez didn’t look good yesterday, and Francisco Liriano struggled again today. I was really hoping they’d have strong outings, if for no other reason than to calm my worries about our starting rotation. But alas, the worrying continues. Guys, if you’re reading this (and even if you’re not), please get better. Fast. Thanks.


• I do not envy Gardy’s job of having to decide who will start in centerfield. It looks like it’s between Carlos Gomez and Denard Span, but Craig Monroe can’t be excluded either. While no one will be a rock star, all three have great things to offer. Personally, I like Go Go Gomez, because he’s just so darned fun to watch, with Monroe off the bench and filling in from time to time.


• Speaking of centerfield…. I was doing a crossword puzzle, and the word for “gate to a Japanese shrine” was “Torii”. I never knew that. When I looked it up on Wikipedia, I recognized the structure, but I didn’t know until then what it was called. I wish I knew that before, but I’m not sure why.


• Dear Bill Smith: I respectfully request that you re-sign Joe Nathan to a long-term contract. Very long term. Love, k-bro.

My First One!

Today, I am thankful for the technology that allowed me to "work remotely". I was too much of a wimp to head out into the snow and spend 4 ½ hours driving to work, so I emailed my boss and told him I was working from home. What I didn't tell him was that the Twins game was on TV. I'm so sly.

This is my first televised game since I started this blog, so I'm not quite sure what to do. But I am going to have fun.

I have a habit of talking directly to the television during games because I know they can hear me. They don't always listen to me, but they can hear me. Here's a recap of the conversations I had during the game:

1^st inning:
(To Rick Suttcliff when he's talking about Morneau) Morn-yo? Dude, it's not Morn-yo.

(To Derek Jeter when he's taking his sweet time getting a new bat and doing his usual "human-rain-delay" routine) Yes, Jeter. The camera's on you. Take your time and get your pretty face on air as long as possible.

(To Kevin Slowey) Striking out Giambi is a beautiful thing.

2^nd inning:
(To Brendan Harris when he missed that ground ball) Nicky would have got that. We should combine the two of you - Nickdan Puntis.

(To both ESPN guys when they're going on and on about A-Rod's previous at-bat) Oh, for crying out loud, he walked last inning. That doesn't make him God.

3^rd inning:
(To ESPN as a whole) Stop showing film of Johan. It's old now.

(To Gardy as he's being interviewed) You can sure tell it's spring training. You're usually much more uptight during the season.

(To ESPN as a whole) Heaven forbid you guys show a graphic or tell us who's up to bat. Who is that, Mike Lamb? Wait, no, it's ... hmm, got me.

5^th inning:
(To Garrett Jones)BOOM!

(To Joba Chamberlain when he beans Matt Tolbert in the ankle)Hey! Hey! Hey! A pox on your ankle.

6^th inning:
(To Justin during his interview) Hi honey. Nice to see you smiling so much in an interview. And you've been practicing avoiding all the "ums" and "likes". Nice job. Way to come out of your Canadian shell.

7^th inning:
(To the ESPN guy) It's "Pridie", NOT "Perdie"

8^th inning:
(To Alejandro Machado when he doubled and drove in two) ALE-JANDRO!

9^th inning:
(To Everyone) YAY! Twins win!

So that's that. Good Guys 7, Evil Empire 5


Cheers to: ALE-JANDRO!

Because you drove in the go-ahead runs, and your name is fun to say.

Boo-hiss to: Joba.

Dude, calm down. It's spring training for crissakes. No need to be plunking people just cuz someone hit a homer off you.

I'm Bored Today...

I'm bored today. And I don't really feel very good (only partly self-inflicted). Maybe some bullet points will help. Everyone loves bullet points.

• I'm not too worried about the Twins slow start in spring training. It seems to me that when they have a great spring, they have an average season; when they have a lousy spring, they have a great season. At least that's what I'm telling myself. Of course, I reserve the right to change this opinion if our boys start winning tons. They're off to a good start today.


• Am I the only person who doesn't like the "stuf" inside Oreos? Their marketing department has come up with a gimmick where they're hosting stuf licking races. Bleh. Me? If I do eat it, I never separate it from the delicious chocolate cookie goodness. Usually I just scrape it off, throw it away and eat the cookies plain.


• I finally got around to dusting my memorabilia cabinet (housekeeping is not one of my stronger abilities - I want a sparkling clean house; I just don't want to be the one making it that way). I don't have many items - just stuff I've collected over the years. But I came to some sad realizations as I was dusting: (look - sub-bullets)
  


• I have nine Twins bobbleheads. Only two were former Twins when I got them (Kirby and TK). Now, only two are current Twins (Gardy and Joe Mauer). The rest have moved from the current Twin side of the shelf to the former Twin side of the shelf.


• Remember in 2005, the Twins had that coin collection promotion? Every day, you would cut out the coupon from the paper, go to Super America and buy a coin with a Twins player's picture on it. It turned out to be a big hairy deal at the end of the promotion because everyone was buying up the last of the coins then selling them on eBay for 89 times the purchase price. Well, I was lucky enough to complete the set without resorting to eBay. Anyhoo, there are 20 coins with pictures, and only five are current Twins (Gardy, Mauer, Morneau, Nathan, and Cuddy).


• Mike Lamb is better looking than I first thought. Except he has a really small mouth - too small for his face. Just an observation.


• I'm currently reading Kent Hrbek's book "Tales From the Minnesota Twins Dugout". I'll let you know what I think when I'm done.
  

That's all I have for today.