Thursday, April 2, 2009

Keeper Baseball Cliches

Normally I hate cliches. I threw a dirty look at a coworker who said "in the loop." I rolled my eyes at a CEO who praised someone for "pushing the envelope." I have chided my children when they claim to "think outside the box." I have complained about a talk-radio host who couldn't stop repeating "at the end of the day." I feel so strongly about it, I have another blog.

Baseball cliches are a different story. Now, I don't really like the baseball cliches that have "crossed-over" to everyday language (e.g. "he stepped up to the plate"). But the cliches that are strictly about baseball...well, those are special. I love those cliches. I know exactly what's going on when someone "paints the corner" or "hits a grand salami" (although I will never like "that's a good piece of hitting" because it's such a stupid phrase).

But a good baseball cliche is only as good as who's saying it and who he's saying it about. So I made a list of phrases I want our favorite broadcasters (Dick-n-Bert and John-n-Dazzle-n-Blackjack) to say so often, they become cliches.

  • Runner goes...throw down to second...SAFE!...Gomez steals another base.
  • A swing and a miss...Slowey gets him on a breaking ball.
  • Hit toward the hole...Oh!...Punto dives for it...throws to second...on to time, double play!
  • Nathan pulled the string on that one got him with a sweeping curve...buckled the batter with that breaking ball. [EDIT: Mr. or Ms. Anonymous informed me that "pulled the string" refers to a changeup. I don't think Nathan has a changeup, or if he does, I like his curveball better. So I changed it. Learn something new every day.]
  • Hit's's gone...touch 'em all, Justin Morneau!
  • Inning over...Perkins sits them down in order.
  • He squares to's a good one...pitcher fields it...throws to first...SAFE at first! Casilla gets another bunt hit.
  • Good morning, good afternoon, good night...Liriano strikes him out on three pitches.
  • He gives it a ride...base hit...Mauer goes 4 for 4
  • There'll be a play at the plate...throw from right...Redmond reaches...OUT!...Cuddyer throws him out at home.
  • It splits the run in...another run in...Young has another 2-run double.
  • Strike-out number 10...Baker has another outing with double-digit strike-outs.
  • He's tracking...back...back...he leaps up...CAUGHT!...oh my!...Denard Span makes a fantastic leaping catch.
  • Strike three called...Guerrier gets him with the curve.
  • Down the line...Crede ranges...throws from his knees...OUT!
  • Another gem...Blackburn has a shut-out.
  • This one's got a's up...HOMERUN!...Jason Kubel hits another one.
  • Slow roller to second...inning over...Crain get out of a small jam.
  • Twins add on another insurance run.
  • Twins win.
  • Twins add to their winning streak.


Anonymous said...

Minor quibble: "Pulling the string" refers to throwing a changeup, not a curveball.

It's a reference to seemingly 'pulling a string' to slow the ball down 2/3 of the way to the plate.

k-bro said...

Well, I learned something new today. I just thought it referred to anything that wasn't a fastball. Thanks for letting me know, Anonymous. :-)