Thursday, April 2, 2009

What the Hell Did I Do?

So, during my lunch hour, I sit down after warming up my Lean Cuisine frozen meal (or was it a Healthy Choice? -- I can't remember; it wasn't that good) and log on to Twitter and see this:
MN_Twins Scott Baker on disabled list; Liriano to start opener
"What?!?! Noooooo," I say out loud to no one in particular. I click on the link and see this:
There is word R.A. Dickey likely will start Friday in Chicago.
Oh. So that's it. It's my fault. I stated multiple times that I wanted R.A. to break camp with the team, and this is what happens. I forget, I need to be very, very clear when I wish for baseball-related stuff. In fact, I need to be precise.

So, precisely speaking, here's what I want:
  • I want Scott Baker, Twins RHP, and Joe Mauer, Twins C, to be healthy and playing baseball by no later than April 15, 2009. (If there are other men on the planet named Scott Baker or Joe Mauer, I want them to be healthy, and if they want to play baseball, that's ok too.)
  • I want Boof Bonser, Twins RHP, and Pat Neshek, RHP, to be healthy and playing baseball by no later than Opening Day 2010.
  • I want Justin Morneau, Delmon Young, Michael Cuddyer, Nick Punto and any other Twins player who has aches and pains to stop having any aches and pains for the entire 2009 season.
  • In fact, I want everyone on the Twins 40-man roster, the Twins minor-league system, the Twins organization, and the fandom known as "Twins Territory" to be completely free from injuries, illness, pain, owies, anxiety, nervousness, bad moods, or any other unpleasantness until no sooner than the final game of the World Series.
  • I want any other negative thing that I haven't thought of to never happen to any Twins player ever.
There. That should cover it.


I have the TV on MLB network, and they just asked, Who has the most wild pitches in a single inning?

And then they showed our pal R.A., when he was with the Mariners, here at the Dome, throwing four out-of-control knuckleballs. Remind me again why I want him pitching in the Dome again...

Actually, I'm completely convinced that it was all his catcher's fault. Our catchers would never allow such chaos.


When Bad Grammar/Misspellings and Baseball Collide:
From my favorite source, FoxSports Rumors page. This one is great because it made me laugh at two different things.

First of all, this is proof-positive that White Sox players are really Bitch Sox. Apparently, they'll complain about anything.


Um, yeah. He may drink wine while he does it, but I'm pretty certain that he whines.

1 comment:

S.Rail said...

Poor Scotty. He said he was SO excited for opening day, and BAM, he's on the DL. HOPEFULLY he (and Joe Mauer) will be better ASAP.