Trying to Relax Enough to Smile

Twins 3 - Whities 2

Whew! That was close -- too close. And if I have to check myself into the hospital later this evening because I'm suffering panic attacks, it's the Twins' fault. But don't think for a minute I am unhappy with this game.

So, because my hands are still shaking, I'll keep this short.

I have some random, and ironically not really game-related, thoughts.

• First of all, as I've said before, I despise Mark Buehrle. He's ugly and he always says snotty things. I just thought I'd throw that out there.
• I miss Corey Koskie. It's nice to hear from him.
• Ok, so am I the only one who thinks that LNP got his teeth fixed -- like caps or something? It seems to me that he used to have kinda crooked teeth, but in that "thanks fans" commercial, they're perfect. Maybe I'm crazy; who knows?
• I think Randy Ruiz and Jose Mijares are one and the same. One person playing two parts, like Hayley Mills in The Parent Trap. (Did I just show my age there? Ok, if you're under 30, change that to Lindsay Lohan.)
• That catch that Go-Go made in the ninth was straight out of Angels in the Outfield.
• I totally love the regular Joe Nathan much more than blow-the-save Joe Nathan. I think all 38 bigillion fans in the Dome agree.

Ok, I gotta go to bed now. All this stressing and worrying and fretting and agonizing and anguishing is tiring. I'll go and do some Joe Nathan breathing exercises.

A's is for ...

Monday: Twins 2 - Oakland 3
Tuesday: in progress (final: Twins 13 - Oakland 2)

Yesterday, I really wanted to give Nick Blackburn a hug (ok, I can't really think of a time when I don't want to give Nick Blackburn a hug, but even more so yesterday). It kind of sucked that his first pitch was smacked for a homerun. I can imagine that put him in a bad mood from the get go. I know it put me in a bad mood from the get go. But he wound up pitching pretty well, and went eight innings. A little more run support would've been nice.

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I have to keep reminding myself that yesterday's loss wasn't the end of the world. For some reason, some losses are harder to take than others; I don't know why that one was. Was it because the A's are so awful that we really should win? Was it because I disagreed with the umpire for about three-quarters of the game? Was it because the Twins looked so blah? Was it because the White Sox were playing, and beating, the Mariners to take the lead in the division? Was it because I think I can play left-field better than Delmon Young? Was it because Brendan Harris really needed to take the stinking bat off his shoulder?

Yeah, pretty much all that.

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Well, crappola. Here we go again with giving up a lead-off homerun again. STOP IT!

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Speaking of disagreeing with umpires, I have some things to say...

Last night: How do you call Joe Mauer out on strikes? Don't you know who he is? He's Joe Freaking Mauer! He doesn't take strike three. He knows the strike zone better than you do, moron.

Tonight: Wow! I respectfully request that you give my pitcher that call. I mean, if Justin Morneau can't reach it, and you're calling it a strike, I bet Kevin Slowey would appreciate that same advantage.

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So the Twins' preferred hand specialist must be enjoying the job security afforded him by the boys. Poor Adam "Adam" Everett got plunked in the hand by a foul ball while he was sitting innocently in the dugout. I'm telling you... Oven Mitts for everyone.

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Botton 2nd: Nice jack, BuschMan! And nice RBI triple, D-Span!
Top 3rd: And sweeeet play, Li'l Nicky!

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Will someone please cast a hex/jinx/spell/curse on the White Sox? I mean seriously, they aren't really this good, are they?

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Bottom 3rd: Run Randy, run! Good job, Randy. Now go get some oxygen.

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Bottom 5th: Ha! Go-Go hit a Ho-Ho!

(I hope that didn't come across too creepy. I meant it in the most innocent way possible. Really.)

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Mid 7th: So with all the hitting, and the running, and the scoring and everything, the superhero of the game is K-Slo. Twelve Ks in seven innings. Nice job, honey. And nice game, guys.

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Blog Update: I'm going on a business trip for the rest of the week. I'll be back Sunday. Dear Twins, please please please, take care of the California teams, 'k?

The Good, The Good Byes, The Hellos, The Floss

Twins 4 - Indians 1

Good job, Nick Blackburn. That was a hellava pitching performance. However, I was worrying at the beginning because that Sowers guy was turning in a hellava-er pitching performance for the first five innings. Thank goodness Brendan Harris was tired of it and hit that double to end the madness.

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I must admit that I'm a bit bummed to see Livan and Monroe go. I don't disagree with the decision, but I feel bad anyways. They both seemed like classy guys who really wanted to do well. It's just too bad it didn't work out. I sincerely hope they can hook on with other teams and have success.

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My very first impression of Randy Ruiz: "That's a biiig boy." But I loved watching him chug around the bases and scoring from first on Brendan's other double. He's pretty fast for a big fella. So far, watching him play made me smile, so that's good. I hope the pop in his bat matches his size.

I would love to see him plow into a catcher on a play at the plate. The catcher would have no chance -- no chance at all.

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I know everyone is tickled pink that Franchise finally made it here. Everyone except me -- paint me more a shade of cautiously optimistic. I don't dispute that it's time to give him a chance, I just don't think he's going to be the phenom he was in 2006. I'm hoping for solid performances out of him.

Dear Fransico, please feel free to go ahead and prove me wrong. Be the Phenom.

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So, I've made a spur of the moment decision to go to tonight's game. I wish I could go tomorrow to see Franchise, but I'm too busy. So I'll get to see Slowey tonight, and get myself a Dairy Queen Twins Cap. Not that I need another Twins cap, but it never hurts to have more than you need.

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I love Mike Redmond even more than I did before after reading JoeC's blog.

I asked Harris if anybody says anything like that on the bench.
“Red does,” Harris said. “He says, ‘Fifth inning’s a mother.’ ”

Ok, you just know that's not exactly what he says -- I'm guessing he adds another word to the end. Which makes that statement more hilarious, and accurate.

So what happened in the sixth?
“Rally floss,” Redmond said.
Yes, in a practice that dates to 2006, Redmond started flossing on the bench when it was time for the boys to rally against Sowers.

So, clearly, everyone needs to get himself/herself some rally floss. I think it should be the next stadium giveaway. It could be sponsored by the American Dental Association.