Donald Zackary Greinke
Ok, so you look like you're 9 1/2 years old, but you've become quite bratty lately. It seems that you don't like it when opponents do their job and hit off you so you throw purpose pitches. Now, I didn't mind when you beaned Nick Swisher last week, but I do not take kindly to you plunking Delmon Young. In the head. Because he hit a homer off you. Oh, and I saw the replay about eighty times (I *heart* my DVR) and I could tell it was totally intentional; the catcher didn't even have his mitt up to receive a pitch. So, go sit down and think about how you could behave better -- like maybe doing your job and not throwing pitches down the middle of the plate that hitters will smack for 418 foot homers.
