Friday, April 9, 2010

We're in Cali, So Let's Do An Award Show

Monday -- LAA 6 - Twins 3
Tuesday -- LAA 3 - Twins 5
Wednesday -- LAA 2 - Twins 4
Thursday -- LAA 1 - Twins 10 (!)

Twins take series 3-1


Did you see that?! What I wrote up there?! Yes! It's true! The Twins took a series with the Angels! In Anaheim! A four-game series at that! That never happens! (Ok, enough with the exclamation points -- but it is very exciting.)

This series was so deliciously surprising that I've decided to come up with a number of "awards" to celebrate.

Let's start out with the obvious:
For suddenly stating, with authority, "screw small ball, I want to send this flying," I present the Boom-boom Awards to the following players:
  • JJ Hardy (2)
  • Brendan Harris
  • Joe Mauer
  • Justin Morneau (2)
  • Jim Thome  
  • Delmon Young (2)
Nice work, gentlemen. Moving on:
For the uncanny ability to hurt himself on just about every plate appearance, I present the Most In Need of a Big Roll of Bubble-Wrap and Probably Some Ice Too to -- Orlando Hudson

Yeah, man, you gotta protect your kneecaps -- and your skull. Ok next, we have:
For making his major league debut in front of his family and having a 1-2-3 inning, all while visibly shaking, I present the Making Your Momma Happy award to -- Alex Burnett

Aww. It was such a touching moment. And it was his mom's birthday too. What a nice boy. Now we have:
For being everywhere in the infield that he needed to be, including left-center field, and having some serious ups, I present the This Series is Brought to You by the Letter "D" Award to -- JJ Hardy.

Wow. All I can say is wow. Next, we have:

For looking absolutely foolish on Monday, and then looking absolutely brilliant on Thursday, I present the Two-Faced Comedy/Tragedy Thingy Award to -- Jose Mijares.

For the record, Jose, we Twins fans prefer the brilliant. Ok, moving on:

For making me literally ask the television, "umm...what? Really?", I present the Things I Thought I'd Ever Hear A Twins Announcer Say Awards to:
  • "Delmon Young takes over for Jason Kubel as a defensive replacement."
  • "Jim Thome scores from second on a single."
Stunning, aren't they? Ok, now:

For really looking like someone unlike he's ever looked before, I present the You Look Different, Maybe You Are Different Award to -- Delmon Young

What's up, man? Hitting homers and contributing good defense? Who knew you had it in you? And, we have:

For caving in to some unwritten rule that Californians can't be bothered with attending day games, I present the Bronx Cheer to -- MLB and LA Angels schedulers.

Yeah, did it really need to be a 4-game series? And did that fourth game really need to be a night game? Thanks to you, we have a bunch of sleepy Twins expected to take on the Chicago White Sox. And finally, we have:

For enduring a red-eye flight after a four-game series to check in to their hotel rooms at some ungodly time in the morning and then playing a division rival later that day, I present the Golden Pillow Award to the entire Minnesota Twins team. Sleep fast and throw some business to your favorite coffee shop, boys.

1 comment:

margo said...

Seriously, Orlando Hudson, calm down.
You're going to hyperactivate yourself onto the DL.