Approaching Normal

Twins 5 - Royals 1

Twins sweep series in 3

Well, that was much better. No crazy come-from-behind drama. No extra innings. No errors or even bone-headed defensive plays. And thank goodness too, because I watched the entire game whilst in the throes of a nasty migraine. Ugh. I don't think I could've handled yelling or cheering at the TV for any reason; I'm glad I didn't have to.

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Kevin Slowey. Wow. That was fantastic. That was fun to watch. Throwing first-pitch strikes and having a ton of confidence on the mound is very sexy.

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Did anyone else notice that Joey and Cuddy are growing beards? Is Justin too? It's hard to tell (especially since I couldn't see very well, what with the headache and all). And it looks like they're real beards (as opposed to just "going scruffy") because they're neatly trimmed along the jaw line. It's kind of funny to see baby-face Joey growing a beard. Edit: I guess it's true; they are growing beards (not Justin). According to JoeC's blog, they're growing "homer-less beards". Cute. Just don't get too used to them, guys - everyone would rather see the homers.

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Everyone, including me, seems to relish saying "the Last Place Yankees". I'd just like to add a caution statement.

CAUTION: Take the Yankees seriously. They are evil. They crush opponents' souls when given an opportunity. They are looking for a chance to turn their season around. Make sure to play excellent baseball. Avoid giving them opportunities to win.

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Another Edit (well more like adding something I meant to write but forgot because I was writing something else when I first thought of it and didn't think of it again until well after I published this): Now that the Twins have left KC, I'm rooting for the Royals to start winning. First of all, they're facing the Whine Sox next, and anyone who beats them is OK with me. But more importantly, I like their fans (they were so friendly and polite when I visited) and they deserve better then what their team is giving them right now. My family is making plans to go there in August when the Twins are there again, and I think it would be fun if the games were somehow "meaningful".

A Night for Twins Fan Kids of All Sizes

Twins 9 - Royals 8 (10) [seriously? cool!]

Well that was unexpected. And cool. And ... wow! Nice work, Mr. Monroe and Mr. Morneau.
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I have to admit that I didn't see very much of the game. I got home when the score was 6 - 2. I hung around until the score was 8 - 3, then sighed and thought "oh well, can't win ‘em all", and turned to a rerun of CSI: NY to kill time until the news came on. (I know, I know, I need to work on my loyalty and optimism skills, but I was tired.) Anyhoo, I flipped back during a commercial break, and the score was tied. (What??? How did that happen?) Fortunately, I'm dorky enough to record every game with my DVR (I **heart** my DVR), so I simply rewound it and saw everything.
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Just wondering: is "rewound" the correct verb to use while talking about a DVR? There's no tape, so no actual "winding" is occurring. Hmm.
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Monroe's homerun reminded me of something my kids would pretend in the back yard: It's the ninth inning, two on, two out, full count. And here's the pitch - it is high, it is deep, it is GONE!However, they're usually pretending to win the World Series with an at-bat like that.
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The best part of Monroe's homerun: Dick's reaction. He was so happy and excited and thrilled and gleeful; it was like he was a big kid. It was so fun to listen to him.
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And finally, the "Does He Get a Royalty Check for That?" moment of the day: Proof positive that when first-basemen and base runners talk, they don't really say anything: Yesterday, my son was playing first, and I noticed he talked to everyone who reached. Later, I asked him what he was saying, and he said that he was singing the FreeCreditReport.com jingle. Why? Just to bug them.

Delivering Us From Gloom

Twins 4 - Royals 3 (12) [We won, so why does it hurt so much?]

Thank you Cuddy for salvaging the game and leading us away from despair.
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Poor Nick Blackburn. I've accused him of being a gloomy guy because he never really smiles. But with the kind of luck he has, it's easy to understand why. After all, what does he have to do? He pitches a gem - almost a complete game shutout - and he watches it being ripped away on Nathan's very first pitch. I wanted to cry when they showed Nick in the dugout after the Royals tied it up. He just looked so sad.
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I rarely question Gardy's decisions. I'd be a horrible manager and I know it, so I don't bother. But this time, I'm convinced that if he had let Nick stay in for one more batter, things would have been much, much better. He was getting ground balls all night, and I'm sure he would have induced the double play ball he needed. In fact, I was screaming that to the TV as Gardy walked out to the mound. I'm willing to bet that I wasn't the only one.
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Dear Bert, Please, please, please don't ever talk about your personal hygiene again. I mean, seriously, chewing your toenails? Eeeewwww. I could've gone all day without thinking about that.
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And finally, the "This is What Happens When You Get Dressed in the Dark" moment of the game: Did anyone else notice that Jimmy "Gobble" Gobble had his undershirt on backwards? I didn't see it until the camera showed him from behind, but the "Royals" embroidery on the neck was in the back and the MLB logo that belongs on the back was in the front. Maybe it's a good luck thing. Or maybe he needed to get dressed in a hurry.

Who's In Charge? (My Take on Instant Replay in Baseball)

MLB is considering implementing instant replay to assist with questionable homerun calls, and plans are to give it a try in the Arizona Fall League. Last December during the Winter Meetings, the General Managers voted 25-5 in favor of recommending it for "boundary calls". Everyone is talking about it again now because of a couple of so-called "blown" calls in the New York market (it's questionable whether there would be the ado if they had happened here in fly-over country). And because those calls have been replayed over and over in a 24/7 barrage, many will insist that everyone continues to talk about it.

While I'm not really against instant replay in these particular cases -- we all know of times when legitimate home runs were ruled as foul balls because the umpires couldn't tell which side of the foul pole the ball flew past -- I'm not a fan of the path that allowing any instant replay goes down. If this happens, it would be the first time that technology is allowed to actually change the game rather than merely enhance it.

Because virtually every game is televised, players today use replays to scout opponents or improve their own game. However, when he's between the lines, a player still must make his pitches or put the bat on the ball all by himself. Improving the performance of the individual athletes is a far different matter than forcing the game to conform to a television-ruled world with its all-mighty dollar. Baseball fans are already subjected to goofy start times and elongated half-inning changeovers because of the demands of television advertising.

Baseball itself isn't well suited to allow technology to dictate outcomes because it seems to celebrate its own quirkiness. This is a game that doesn't even want a clock to tell everyone when the game is over. Heck, there aren't even standards for the size or shape of the field of play as long as the bases are 90 feet apart and the pitcher's mound is 60 feet 6 inches away from home. And nothing happens unless human umpires or scorekeepers say it does (ball or strike? pitch or balk? safe or out? hit or error? fair or foul?). So forcing a drastic change in the way a game is called, simply because fans can second-guess the calls the next morning, seems counter-intuitive.

Weekend Away

Friday: Twins 9 - Tigers 4
Saturday: [Hmm. I can't seem to remember. It's as if it's been blocked from my memory. I probably have some post-traumatic thing going on.]
Sunday: Twins 6 - Tigers 1
Twins take series 2 - 1

I have a moment of quiet time, so I thought I'd check in quickly. The bummer part of going to the lake with approximately 157 relatives (not quite, it just sounds like it) is that I don't usually get to sit and watch the Twins games. Luckily this time, I did get to watch most of the games. Except for Saturday's; I decided that going on a leisurely boat ride was waaaay more fun than whatever it was the Twins were doing. However, when I do get to watch the games, I absolutely must have the TV muted because of all the commotion. These are times that make me grateful that FSN puts score thingy at the top of the screen so I always know what's going on.
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Good job Kubes on hitting that grand slam on your birthday. You deserve cake for that. In fact, I propose that all Twins hitters should drive in at least four runs (because it's not always possible to get a grand slam, what with depending on the batters ahead of you to get on all at the same time and all) on their birthday before they get cake. Those with off-season birthdays have to get half that on their half-birthday for half a cake. Pitchers must pitch complete game wins to earn their cake. I'm just saying that if everyone just did their part on their birthdays, there would be a lot more wins.
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And finally, this is what I'm looking at right now:


Nice, huh?

Mother Always Said ...

Twins 7 - Rangers 8
Series split 2 - 2

In the spirit of "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all", I am only going to talk about the positives of yesterday's game. As tempting as it would be to complain about starting pitchers giving up four runs in the first, relief pitchers committing throwing errors that should have been easy outs, and batters leaving about 146 runners on base, I won't. I also won't go into how, even though Go-Go would love to carry the entire team on his back, he's pretty little to actually expect him to, because who really needs all that negativity?

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So, keeping with the strictly positive theme:

• YAY! for Go-Go for going 4 for 5 with a homer and an awesome catch.


• YAY! for Justin for driving in two to tie the game.


• YAY! for Brendan and Cuddy for being patient at the plate and allowing the pitcher to walk in runs.

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It was interesting listening to Dazzle while the Ranger pitchers were, as he put it, "walking the world." He was absolutely aghast, as if they committing crimes against baseball -- which they pretty much were. He was also in a snit (my absolute favorite word) about the pitching matchups - they left the right-hander in to face Morneau. John said something like, "but this guy's pretty good at getting lefties out," to which Dan replied, "but why do they have Eddie Guardado? Why do they have [the other left-handed pitcher, whatever his name is]?" I could practically see him marching around the booth, just itching to go down to the field and put a stop to the madness.

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I'm off to the lake this weekend. I hope the weather behaves as predicted. Maybe I'll pay attention to the Detroit series, maybe I won't. And if I do, maybe I'll blog about it, maybe I won't.

Have a great weekend!

Amusing the Baseball Gods

Twins 1 - Texas 10

Yup. This is what happens when we tempt the baseball gods, for they do love a laugh, especially at the expense of over-confident fans.

Among my "daily reading", I check out Howard Sinker's blog. Read that last line there.

Nick Blackburn, you're 5-2 after tonight, pal.

Then read the first commenter's response.

Please, Howard... you're going to upset those fickle baseball gods with stuff like this. Have you learned nothing from JoeC this year? If Ponson shuts down the Twins tonight, it's all on you, pal!

Mmmm hmmm. My. Reaction. Exactly. But I don't want to put the blame solely on Howard. Just about every blog, article, and report I read about Sidney Ponson and tonight's game predicted Sir Sid would flounder. I even saw a scroll on ESPN that proclaimed that our old buddy had a 9.00 ERA in his last two starts (or something like that). So pretty much everyone expected the Twins to breeze through this one.

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Oh well, let's all shake it off. Hmm, shake... I know... Since the defense pretty much played like Little Leaguers (again - except for a couple of nice plays), the guys should go out to Dairy Queen in full uniform just like Little Leaguers and have some shakes and cones. That'll cheer them up in time for tomorrow's game.



Just make sure you don't get a brain freeze like that kid that Dick-n-Bert picked as the fan of the game. The game was painful enough.

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And finally, the "He May Not Be Ready For Prime Time, But He's Makin' ‘Em Laugh on Late Night" moment of the day: Heh. Heh. I'm watching David Letterman as I write this. He used Michael Cuddyer's hat-bill juggle-catch in one of his bits. It's a running gag about an anchorwoman who accidently dropped an f-bomb.