Grief Counseling

We've all heard by now that the best pitcher in baseball (not to mention the sexiest man on the planet) has been traded and will no longer play for the Twins. This is very, very sad news. Much like sitting with a loved-one with a serious illness, we were prepared for the inevitable. But knowing it's coming doesn't make it easier to take. Let's go through the five stages of grief together:

1. Denial - Well, the deal is not quite final yet. Johan still has to accept a contract extension and pass a physical (seriously?). Maybe, just maybe he'll block the trade and choose to stay with the Twins.


2. Anger - Are you serious? Where are the players I've actually heard of? Where's Jacoby Ellsbury? Where's Melky Cabrera? Who the heck is Carlos Gomez anyways? Dan Barreiro pretty much covered the whole emotion on his radio program today.


3. Bargaining - Many times bargaining happens before the loss. Just last week, Sid held on to hopes that the Twins would keep Johan, practically bargaining with them to not let him leave.


4. Depression - Yeah, this one's pretty obvious. Howard Sinker admits that he's more sad than mad. I have to agree.


5. Acceptance - The silver lining (well maybe cheap chrome lining) here is that he went to a National League team and we don't have to worry about facing him. And we know that the Twins have done a good job picking prospects before, right?

So, good luck Johan. I sincerely hope you win another bajillion Cy Youngs. I'll look forward to seeing you in the All-Star Game.

As for me, I'll be holding shivah like Izzy.

Doin' the Hank-y Pokey

Put your Santana offer in...

Take your Santana offer out...

Put your Santana offer back in...


Yeah, yeah. We all know that all Hank wants to do is "shake it all about".

Nuts!

This is me. At least as it relates to Johan Santana.

Ok, ok, I admit that, generally speaking, I'm a bit nuts. But I'm going over the top reading the rumors about Johan. I'm beginning to worry about myself. I can't help it.

The crazy thing is: I don't even have a strong opinion one way or another about the outcome. Of course, I would love it if the Twins would sign him for another 10 years, and he could retire a Twin. But I know that's unreasonable, so I want the best deal the Twins can get. And if he stays another season, and then goes in free agency, I'll at least be glad I have the chance to appreciate him one more year. I'm surprisingly willing to accept any outcome.

But I can't stop thinking about it. I just spent three days in a training class, and every time the instructor would help that one student who caught on slower than the rest of us, I would check out LaVelle's blog to see if anything was new. I was just this side of obsessed.

And why? I can't do anything about it, so why worry? I'm completely calm about driving 3 1/2 hours in the snow to get home (what should have been a 45 minute drive), but I fret about Johan.

Which proves it's the not knowing that I can't stand. But I sincerely hope that Mr. Smith does not feel the same way. He can't do something just to do something -- just to get it over with. Of course, he's smart enough to know that -- he doesn't need me to tell him that.

So all I can do is wait and try not to get too nuts. I guess if life makes you nuts, make peanut butter?

The Decline of the HGI

So, it's been a couple days since the Twins traded Matt Garza, Jason Bartlett, and that other minor-league pitcher guy to the Rays (minus the "Devil") for Delmon Young, Brendan Harris, and that other minor-league outfielder guy.

The Twins blogosphere is generally in favor of this trade, with some concerns regarding Young's professionalism. I agree, although losing Bartlett was kind of a surprise.

It is interesting to note that both Garza and Bartlett were held back in the minors much longer than many fans would have liked. Perhaps the organization simply didn't like them.

I never was especially impressed by Garza's pitching. It just drove me nuts that he was in love with his fast ball so much. And it always sounded like he was "difficult".

I liked Bartlett fine, but his number of errors drove me nuts, and his bat tended to be too streaky for my liking. But he was fast, and he had a nice stolen-base streak going for awhile last year.

I am looking forward to seeing what Young has. Let's hope his hot-headed days are behind him. Can you imagine Young and Gardy engaged in a temper-tantrum?

I'm undecided on Harris. Some seem to think he's an upgrade from Bartlett. Others don't think so. We'll have to see.

There are plenty of analyses all over the blogging world comparing all their skills, but no one has mentioned one very important reality: the Twins have just taken a giant downgrade in the Hot Guy Index (HGI).

Garza is gorgeous, with his pearly-white smile, his curly dark hair, and his adorably too-big nose.



And Barty is just plain cute, with his little goatee and shy smile.



Add that to the loss of Torii, with his million-dollar smile and flirty laugh.



And Johan -- the hottest guy in all of baseball, with his Latin-lover eyes and sexy behind -- is likely to be gone soon too.

Now, there's nothing really wrong with Delmon Young, in fact he's got a pretty cute smile, but he's not Torii.

But Brendan Harris is, well, kind of "meh". Nothing special.



So, what's a girl to do? I am still grateful for the hotties I still have, but I will sure miss those guys.

To the ladies of Tampa Bay, Anaheim, and New York (or wherever Johan goes): enjoy them, admire them, drool over them, love them. And count yourselves lucky you have them.