Yankees at Twins: Top Ten List

Recap:
Tuesday/Wednesday -- Yankees 1 - Twins 0
Wednesday -- Yankees 3 - Twins 2
Thursday -- Yankees 2 - Twins 8

Twins drop series 1-2

Record: 27-20

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I am tickled pink that the Twins were able to stick it to the Yankees on Thursday. I love it that Jason Kubel decided to spank them proper. I just wish the Twins could beat the Yankees more often. A lot more often.

I make it no secret that I hate the Yankees. Among other reasons, I believe it's my moral obligation, as a fan of a mid-market team, to do so. When the Twins are playing the Yankees, I get a little ... um, unbalanced. A typical utterance in my household during these games goes something like: "Did you finish your homework? Oh, by the way, I hate the Yankees." It gets even worse when the Twins lose.

So, I present:

The Top Ten Distasteful Things I'd Rather Do Than Watch the Yankees Beat My Team

Number Ten: Eat a KFC Double Down "Sandwich".

Number Nine: Have Dionne Warwick's song I Say a Little Prayer for You stuck in my head. For...three...days.

Number Eight: Call a balk against Mark Buehrle (and then argue with Ozzie Guillen).

Number Seven: Kiss Joe West or Phil Cuzzi on the lips.

Number Six: Have lunch with the Burger King -- creeeeepy.

Getty Images

Number Five: Stand in Staples while some random guys shout "Wow! THAT'S a low price" in my ear.

Number Four: Figure out the TV show LOST (note: I never watched a single moment).

Number Three: Date Nick Swisher (über-creeeeepy).

Number Two: Sit in this every day.

Oh wait, I already do.

And the Number One Distasteful Thing I'd Rather Do Than Watch the Yankees Beat My Team:
Play third base with a crazed squirrel on the loose.