The proprietor of that wonderful blog, Bonnie Trenga, found this little gem:
Hee hee! I wonder if poor Dan is feeling a little blue. Like this:
Dear Carl Pavano: I love complete games. I love complete game shut-outs. You're pitching so excellently that you're beginning to remind me a little of my beloved, Brad Radke. Please keep up this level of excellence.
Dear Ty Wigginton, Juan Samuel, Idiot Fan Running on the Field, and Orioles Security Staff: Thanks for the laughs. No, really. Your performances gave me a good chuckle.
Dear Brian Duensing: Nice work. Really. You did exactly what you were asked to do. You kept the team in the game, and you looked pretty smooth. Keep it up kid; you may have earned a permanent spot in the rotation.
Dear Joe Mauer: Hi. That homerun you hit was really pretty. You know it was. Do that again. A lot. Please.
Dear Anthony Slama: Welcome to the big leagues, kid. Tough break giving up that homer to Luke Scott. If it's any consolation, it's not really an awful thing to give up a dinger to him -- he's a good hitter. Just ask Scott Baker. Oh, and keep rocking those stirrups.
Dear O-Dog: Get well soon. Again.
Dear Scott Baker: Hugs. That pitching performance was very solid. Way to go. You know how much I love good pitching. Keep it up; we're all rooting for you.
Dear Jason Kubel: Boom! Oh yeah! You loves you some grand slam action. Next time I see you, I'll buy the Gummi Bears.
Dear Kevin Slowey: There you go, pal. That's the kind of pitching we like to see. In fact, you were doing such a nice job, Bert accidentally called you Brad Radke. Keep it up, and I'll love you almost as much as I loved him.And, most importantly --
Dear Delmon Young: I'm thunderstruck, and I like it. You are on one hell of a tear, and it's beautiful. I mean, look at you at the plate. Sure, you still swing at a lot of pitches, but you're not flailing. You're making contact, and hitting to all fields. And, that power...ooh la la. Also, when the cameras catch you on the bench, you seem all happy and fun and stuff. I like seeing that. Let's face it -- you're good. Please sustain this good mojo, because everyone is beginning to love you, including me.
Eternally yours,
k-bro