A Great Mother's Day!

I took my mom to a Twins game to celebrate Mother's Day (Hi Mom!). Even though the game didn't turn out exactly the way we hoped, it was still a great day.

Recap:
Friday: Twins 11 - Mariners 0
Saturday: Twins 9 - Mariners 6
Sunday: Twins 3 - Mariners 5
Twins take series 2 - 1

We were both so excited to be at the game together -- we were looking forward to it all week -- there was no way we were going to let anything spoil the day. Not even an awful 8th inning by the bullpen.

During the game, there were a pair of women sitting behind us (I guessed them to be mother and daughter, but if that was true, the "mother" was very young-looking). At first, they seemed to be having a nice time. I didn't really listen in on their conversations, but the bits I did hear made it seem that they were very knowledgeable Twins fans. Well during and after that Awful 8th Inning (I capitalize because that its name), they suddenly turned very bitter and wicked. They went on and on (I won't get into it here -- I can't imagine having that much negativity in my heart). And they weren't being sarcastic and exaggerate-y like a regular fan is when watching the bullpen cough up a lead; they were vile and poisonous and mean. They weren't loud, just intense. The kicker was when they both said, "this just ruined Mother's Day." And they meant it. Seriously? You're going to let one bad inning in a baseball game ruin your Mother's Day? Wow. That's some family dysfunction right there, I tell ya.

So, to shake off all that bad karma, and to prove that I really did have a great day (Hi Mom!), I'll list the Great things and the Bummer things to show what's better. 'k? 'k.

Great:

• Having breakfast with Mom (Thanks Mom!).
• Getting to the game nice and early to get a decent parking spot.
• Buying and eating warm cinnamon almonds.
  
• Getting to the game nice and early to get a sweet t-shirt.
• Getting to the game nice and early to visit with my mom (Hi Mom!).
• Getting to the game nice and early to use my binoculars to watch Joe Crede stretch out that hamstring before the game.
• Listening to that high-school choir perform the National Anthem (really -- they were good).
• Using my binoculars to watch Blackie.
• Watching Justin beat Ichiro to the bag in the 1st.
• Watching Go-Go go-go on that bunt single in the 2nd.
  
• Willing Blackie through trouble in the 4th and watching him successfully get out of it.
• Listening to that lady sing God Bless America during the 7th inning stretch (again really -- she was very good).
• Watching Go-Go go-go get that fly to center in the 9th.
• Cheering and clapping and shouting and crossing our fingers when our boys loaded the bases in the 9th (too bad it didn't turn out the way we were wishing, but it was still fun).
• Getting to the ladies restroom after the game but before the line got long (hey, sometimes it's the little things in life).
• Having a nice dinner at my favorite Mexican restaurant with my husband and boys (Thanks Guys!).

Bummers:

• Watching the Awful 8th Inning.
• Listening to those chicks bitch about the Awful 8th Inning.
• Smacking my nose really hard with a laundry basket (don't ask).

That's about it. Yup, it looks like I had a resoundingly great Mother's Day. I hope my mom did too (Hi Mom!).

"World Class Excellence"

Ok, it's clear the Twins have to do something to get back on their horse.

Recap:
Wednesday: Twins 1 - Orioles 4
Thursday: Twins 4 - Orioles 5
Twins = Dustbunny

I don't know what they need to do. Maybe Gardy needs to hire a motivational speaker. Yeah, that's it. That's what he should do...

Hi, my name is Cyndi and I've been working for Motivations Specialists for 14 years. I can honestly tell you that I've never had a bad day at work. I love my job, and every single morning I wake up and look forward to going to work. And I want to show you that you can love your jobs too. I'm here to motivate you to achieve "World-Class Excellence."

First I would like to go ahead and do a little mental exercise. Ok, I want everyone to close your eyes. Oh, come on now...it'll be fun. Come on... come on, close your eyes. Everyone's eyes closed? You in the back -- the blond guy -- you too. Ok, good. Now I want you to imagine yourself in your favorite quiet place. Take yourself there now. Ok, good. Now imagine a nice gentle warm rain washing down over you.... What? What's the matter? Oh, no rain? We can't talk about rain? Why not? Bad memories of rain...oh...ok, well we'll move on.

Ok, so we'll try a team-building exercise. Ok? Oh, come on, it won't hurt. Remember, we're trying to achieve "World-Class Excellence." Ok, so I'm going to hand out these pieces of paper. Everyone take one. Ok, great. Now...I have this cardboard box. It has an address label on it. The address label says "Neptune." It used to say "Pluto," but since it's not a planet anymore, it's no longer accepting packages. And I would have addressed it to "Uranus," but I figured it would make you snicker. ...Hello? Is this thing on? There are a lot of blank stares out there... Anyone want to at least smile? No? ...Ok then...

Anyway...I want you to write down your single most damaging trait. It could be "a habit of negativity." It could be "resentfulness." It could be you've "checked out." It could be "giving minimum performance." It could be "lack of accountability." Anything. So I want you to write down one bad trait -- the worst one -- on the piece of paper, and then come up here and put it in the box. Then, we're going to ship it to Neptune so all that negativity and subversion and bad attitude will be far, far away. Come on, I know you guys can think of something to write. Come on, bring them on up and put them in the box. Everyone...

Do you think it'd work?

Nah...I don't either.

T-I-Double Guh-ER!

The wonderful thing about Tiggers.....Is Tiggers are wonderful things.....Their tops are made out of rubber.....The bottoms are made out of springs.....They're bouncy, trouncy, flouncy, pouncy.....Fun, fun, fun, fun, fun.....But the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is.....I'm the only one.

Welcome back to the bigs Tigger Tolbert! Have fun. (Ok, I know I'm probably the only person on the planet who calls him Tigger, but I don't care. It works for me.)

I am a bit sad that Alexi got sent down. I hope he can take some time, get things straightened out, and be back soon.

Split Series Equals Split Personality

Wow. I don't remember the last time I had such a dramatic mood swing in a 24-hour period.

Recap:
Monday: Twins 7 - Tigers 2
Tuesday: Twins 0 - Tigers 9 (Ouch! That hurt to write. In fact, it still hurts to think about. Someone grab some Advil for me. And maybe some ice. And rum.)

Twins split the stupid two-game series 1 each.

To compare and contrast the two games, I thought I'd make a spreadsheet showing my findings. This is a significant step for me; I'm afraid of spreadsheets.

Item	Monday’s Game	Tuesday’s Game
Starting pitching	Excellent!	Not so much
Defense	Solid	Not so much
Timely hitting	Present	Not so much
Patience at the plate	Yes	Not so much
Doing the little things right	Definitely	Not so much
Playing like major leaguers	Affirmative	Not so much

Yup. The data shows the team can certainly afford to concentrate on a little consistency. Just remember guys: more like Monday, less like Tuesday.

Get them next time!

When Baseball and Bad Spelling Collide -- Special Edition (Part II)

Remember the NATINALS uniform misspelling fiasco from a couple of weeks ago? Well, there's more...

The Nationals held an auction for charity and sold Adam Dunn's jersey for $8,000. Very nice.

The Washington Post had a little blurb about it. Ok, good.

And the FOXSports Rumor Page (you know, my favorite place to find funny errors) picked it up and came up with this:

*blink blink* miss spelled jersey? Who the hell is Miss Spelled Jersey, and why are the Nationals auctioning her off?

It's ironic, don't you think, that the headline talking about a misspelled jersey is, in fact, misspelled.

Are We Sailing, or Are We Sinking?

Well, right now, neither. But we might be embarking on a three-hour tour.

Recap:
Friday: Twins 7 - Royals 5 (at least I got to go to the one the Twins won)
Saturday: Twins 7 - Royals 10 (11)
Sunday: Twins 5 - Royals 7
Twins drop series 1-2. I guess that's why the Royals are currently in first place, and we're, well, not.

Those pesky Royals are pretty annoying, aren't they. Just when you think the Twins have them where they want them, they change course and adjust their ways back into it. And just when you think the Twins are sailing right along, they hit some rough seas. Hell, in Sunday's game, they went from smooth sailing to getting sucked right into the vortex of a whirlpool (and I don't mean the Jacuzzi®-type either). These things are the makings of a shipwreck.

I know, I know, it's early. But if the Twins don't batten down the hatches soon, they'll certainly be lost at sea.

And, with that, I'm done with the lame nautical metaphors.

~~~~~~

Dear Joe Mauer,

I hope you're back is 100% better, because it's pretty clear you'll have to carry the whole team on it. So far, you're doing an outstanding job (nice pinch-hit hit today). Keep up the good work, my friend.

Love,
k-bro

~~~~~

As predicted, we have to say goodbye to Jose Morales. As much fun as it was to watch him play (especially hit), now he'll have a chance to play everyday and polish his defensive skills. I wish him all the best, and I'm looking forward to seeing him again when the September call-ups come up (and not before because that would require either Joey or Red-Dog to get hurt, and I certainly don't want that).

~~~~~

Oh goody. Up next, we have two games in Detroit and then two in Baltimore. Ugh. What's up with the stupid even-numbered-game series? And two-gamers are the worst.

Do the guys even bother unpacking their suitcases for a two-game series?

Friday Trip Report

My son mini-bro and I took a trip to the Dome on Friday. It was a successful trip; here is my report:

I got the tickets for free. Earlier in the week, I received an email out of the blue from a guy who is new to my company and who I hadn't met yet. He said he found out I was a Twins fan (how do people figure this out? I don't know -- it must be the Twins rug, posters, and other memorabilia I have in my cubicle) and he wanted to know if I could take his tickets off his hands. He didn't want any money; he just wanted me to have a good time. He's my new best friend.

We got there early and I received my sweet Justin Morneau fishing lure. Too bad I don't fish enough to know how to use it. Oh well, it'll have to find a home in my baseball shrine. Mini-bro was a little put off because he didn't get one. I told him it was only for people 18 and over, and he snarked, "what do they think I'm going to do...put it in my mouth?" Well, someone picked up the sarcasm gene from his mother.

The seats were great -- down along the first base line, right by the enemy bullpen catcher, 11th row. I was able to keep an eye on Justin's booty most of the evening. The fans around us were great; in fact, they were some of the most creative, but not overly rude, hecklers I've heard in a while. They kept me giggling the whole time.

Of course, everyone was buzzing about Joe Mauer and his triumphant return to the bigs. And, he did not disappoint. Our get-on-base guy decided to announce his presence grandly and homered on the first pitch he swung at. Everyone was both stunned and pleased. Nice work Joey.

But we can't forget Justin. After all, it was his fishing-lure day -- Joey can't hog all the attention. Because he's Canadian, Justin isn't going to complain, he's just going to quietly prove his point and let people draw their own conclusions. And he did, by doing one better and blasting a two-run homer after Joey drew a walk. And that's how you spell M&M. Oh, and most of the other batters had pretty good nights too (Cuddy hit a triple? Seriously?).

K-Slo was shaky, but the bullpen was awesome. And seeing Ponson stink so bad makes me wonder why teams bother giving him a chance.

One final plus: getting out of the parking ramp, and subsequently out of downtown, was easier and faster than usual. Good time all around.

Sorry I don't have any pictures. The camera was elsewhere for the weekend, and I knew my cell phone would take crappy pictures. Too bad I didn't become friends with the gal sitting in front of me. She took some great pictures, particularly ones of Justin's booty. I can't imagine why she would do that.