Cort!

"Cort" is a word my son and his buddies invented. It's really a great word. It's a shortened and altered version of a sarcastic of course, but they've adapted it to mean so much more. It's a statement of frustration, annoyance, and disdain, and is expressed perfectly with a well-executed hand flail and eye roll. It's an efficient combination of harshness and brevity without actually swearing, and it can be elongated to fit the amount of contempt the situation requires. The best part is that it can actually be used as a number of parts of speech: as an interjection -- "Cort! The battery on my phone died again!"; as an adjective -- "When I realized I forgot my key, it was such a cort moment"; and as a descriptive noun -- "My day has been a giant cort!" Usually, if you're mad, you elongate the "or" part of the word; when you're exasperated, you keep it brief. I explain below:

Cort! Delmon Young is on the DL again.

Rene Tosoni gets sent down when Jim Thome is activated, then four hours after landing in Rochester, has to get on anther plane back to Minneapolis. Cort.

Jose Mijares, Joe Mauer, and Ron Gardenhire got into a pissing match in the press about pitch selection and execution. That was a cort thing to do.

The pitching was a cort, the defense was a cort, all three games were a cort.

Cort! The Brewers swept the Twins.

~~~

DL Report:

First the good news: Joe Nathan and Jim Thome were activated from the DL. Chuck James and Rene Tosoni were optioned back to Rochester to make room. However, hold that thought on Tosoni; he barely had time to do his laundry before...

... the Twins placed RF Delmon Young on the DL on Saturday with what they're calling a right ankle sprain. He is due to have an MRI on Monday to evaluate the full extent of the tissue damage; an X-ray right after he came out of the game indicated that there were no broken bones.

He injured it when his cleat got stuck in the scoreboard thingy on the right field wall as he was going after a fly ball (which ultimately resulted in an inside-the-park homerun). I did not see the play, but according to the approximately 497 tweets in my twitter timeline, he ran a bad route to the ball (cort!) and was a big, awkward, tumbly mess. Gardy said later that he lost the ball in the lights.

Rene Tosoni was recalled to take his place on the roster. Usually when a player is sent down to the minor leagues, he must remain there for 10 days, unless there's an injury. I sincerely hope that Mr. Tosoni suffers neither travel sickness nor jet lag.

On Friday, Justin Morneau announced that he was going to undergo surgery to remove a herniated disk fragment in his neck that is causing a pinched nerve. Since he's still technically on the DL with the wrist injury, there is no new transaction (hence the dual-injury paper doll).

He reports that he's had numbness in his left index finger since Spring Training. During his rehab of the wrist, he visited a specialist regarding his pinched nerve, at the urging of the team. The specialist recommended surgery now before the numbness becomes permanent.

He's expected to be out 6-8 weeks after the procedure, which is scheduled for Wednesday.

There will be a revolving door at first base, with Luke Hughes and Michael Cuddyer splitting most of the time staffing the position. However, Joe Mauer might start practicing there and may start at first from time to time.

Cort.

DL Report: Denard Span

Oh, no. I was afraid of this...

The Twins have placed OF Denard Span on the 7-day DL with a mild concussion and whiplash symptoms. He suffered the injury during a collision with the Royals catcher at the plate on Friday, June 3. He rested a couple of days, and tried to DH on the following Monday; however, he later told reporters that he never felt "right" and everything was hazy.

On Thursday, he tweeted that he had spent over three hours at the doctors, who found the concussion. Before Thursday's game, the Twins trainer told reporters that his symptoms reminded him of the whiplash he suffered in 2009. Friday morning, Span tweeted that the concussion made him feel "lazy." Of course, with every brain injury, there is no telling how long he'll be out. Twin fans are particularly worried as they know that the concussion that Justin Morneau suffered kept him out of baseball for months.

OF Rene Tosoni has been recalled from AAA Rochester to fill his roster spot.

The 7-day DL is new to MLB this year, specifically for concussion-related injuries. The intention is to avoid rushing players with head injuries back into action without hurting the team.

Updates:

Joe Mauer caught in back-to-back games, which is significant.

Jim Thome's quad injury is related to his previous back injury. He's due to receive an epidural soon. To be clear, "epidural" refers to the epidural space, which is the outermost part of the spinal canal. Many women have epidurals to manage pain during childbirth or c-sections. Those are epidural anesthesia procedures. I doubt he's getting that; because that would make the entire lower half of his body numb for a few hours. What I suspect he's getting is an epidural steroid shot, which hurts like a son-of-a-b*tch when you get it, but works pretty well after that. That is, if they get the needle in the right spot the first time. If not, they do it again...ow!

Matt Capps is sore (right wrist). Phil Dumatrait is sore (shoulder). Justin Morneau is sore (neck, shoulder, wrist, etc.). All are day-to-day.

Yesterday afternoon, I sent a tweet out regarding Kevin Slowey. I hadn't heard an update about his injury rehab in quite awhile, and I figured all the "he needs to be traded or sent down so he can be a starter" talk that surrounded the injury made all the beat reporters figure he was no longer with the team. Jordan Schelling from MLB.com replied that Slowey threw long toss with no complaints.

As far as all the other guys, I think you should just read RandBall's Stu's update. He's got everyone covered, and in a much funnier way than I could ever dream of. I'm done here, so go read it now.

DL Report: Delmon Young

After not playing since April 18, and pulling himself out of Wednesday's lineup because he "couldn't get loose," Delmon Young has been placed on the DL with soreness in his left rib cage area. He was also a victim of that viral bug that's been plaguing the clubhouse, but he's reportedly over that.

It's unclear what the cause of the soreness is; it's possibly an oblique strain or a bone injury. He had an MRI a few days ago, and it came back ok. UPDATE: The Twins announced that it's an oblique strain.

The Twins are currently hurting for depth on the team, and since a double-header is scheduled for Thursday, it became necessary to fill in some gaps. The DL assignment is retroactive to April 19.

Rene Tosoni, a 24-year-old left-handed-hitting outfielder, will take Delmon's roster spot. He hit .286 avg/.329 obp/.500 slg with three HRs and six doubles in 19 games with AAA Rochester.

~~~

Also watching:

Carl Pavano has the flu. His scheduled Saturday start has been pushed back to Sunday.

Jim Thome was unavailable Wednesday due to oblique soreness.

Jason Repko felt tightness in his quad muscle, but was available if necessary on Wednesday.

~~~

Catching up with the others:

Joe Mauer is due to come off the DL on Thursday, but he won't be ready. There is no time table for his return. A rehab stint sometime in the future is likely.

Kevin Slowey has been pitching for the Fort Myers Miracle on a rehab assignment. On Saturday, he allowed one run on one hit and one walk in one inning. Rumor has it that he paid for the clubhouse spread for all the guys after the game. I last read that he was due to pitch again on Wednesday, but he didn't.

Tsuyoshi Nishioka is progressing on schedule.

~~~

Other transactions:

Due to the scheduled double-header on Thursday, and because he pitched in long relief on Wednesday (not very well I might add), Eric Hacker has been optioned to AAA Rochester. Anthony Swarzak has been recalled to replace him. Swarzak will start the evening affair on Thursday on only three days rest.

~~~

I suspect that after reviewing all this, Gardy will go home...and weep.