Cort!

"Cort" is a word my son and his buddies invented. It's really a great word. It's a shortened and altered version of a sarcastic of course, but they've adapted it to mean so much more. It's a statement of frustration, annoyance, and disdain, and is expressed perfectly with a well-executed hand flail and eye roll. It's an efficient combination of harshness and brevity without actually swearing, and it can be elongated to fit the amount of contempt the situation requires. The best part is that it can actually be used as a number of parts of speech: as an interjection -- "Cort! The battery on my phone died again!"; as an adjective -- "When I realized I forgot my key, it was such a cort moment"; and as a descriptive noun -- "My day has been a giant cort!" Usually, if you're mad, you elongate the "or" part of the word; when you're exasperated, you keep it brief. I explain below:

Cort! Delmon Young is on the DL again.

Rene Tosoni gets sent down when Jim Thome is activated, then four hours after landing in Rochester, has to get on anther plane back to Minneapolis. Cort.

Jose Mijares, Joe Mauer, and Ron Gardenhire got into a pissing match in the press about pitch selection and execution. That was a cort thing to do.

The pitching was a cort, the defense was a cort, all three games were a cort.

Cort! The Brewers swept the Twins.

~~~

DL Report:

First the good news: Joe Nathan and Jim Thome were activated from the DL. Chuck James and Rene Tosoni were optioned back to Rochester to make room. However, hold that thought on Tosoni; he barely had time to do his laundry before...

... the Twins placed RF Delmon Young on the DL on Saturday with what they're calling a right ankle sprain. He is due to have an MRI on Monday to evaluate the full extent of the tissue damage; an X-ray right after he came out of the game indicated that there were no broken bones.

He injured it when his cleat got stuck in the scoreboard thingy on the right field wall as he was going after a fly ball (which ultimately resulted in an inside-the-park homerun). I did not see the play, but according to the approximately 497 tweets in my twitter timeline, he ran a bad route to the ball (cort!) and was a big, awkward, tumbly mess. Gardy said later that he lost the ball in the lights.

Rene Tosoni was recalled to take his place on the roster. Usually when a player is sent down to the minor leagues, he must remain there for 10 days, unless there's an injury. I sincerely hope that Mr. Tosoni suffers neither travel sickness nor jet lag.

On Friday, Justin Morneau announced that he was going to undergo surgery to remove a herniated disk fragment in his neck that is causing a pinched nerve. Since he's still technically on the DL with the wrist injury, there is no new transaction (hence the dual-injury paper doll).

He reports that he's had numbness in his left index finger since Spring Training. During his rehab of the wrist, he visited a specialist regarding his pinched nerve, at the urging of the team. The specialist recommended surgery now before the numbness becomes permanent.

He's expected to be out 6-8 weeks after the procedure, which is scheduled for Wednesday.

There will be a revolving door at first base, with Luke Hughes and Michael Cuddyer splitting most of the time staffing the position. However, Joe Mauer might start practicing there and may start at first from time to time.

Cort.

The "Win" Stat

The series against the Angels pretty much sums up everything I hate about the "Win" stat for pitchers. I hate it so much, I usually won't acknowledge it when determining a pitcher's worth and I use stats that pitchers actually have some kind of control over such as WHIP or K/BB rate. (For the record, I do use ERA, even though it's flawed. It generally gives an accurate feel for how well a pitcher does, as long as he pitches enough innings to make it meaningful.) I believe that teams win games; pitchers just guide the team there.

This series paints the ridiculous picture of the Win stat is.

First, let's define the Win: if you're the guy who threw the last pitch before your team took the lead for good, you get a "W". If the other team ties or goes ahead after you come out of the game, you can't get a W. Oh, and if you're a starter, you have to pitch 5 innings or more in order to earn the W, but if you're a reliever, all you need is one pitch -- as long as your timing of that one pitch is good. Getting a Loss is easy -- you cough up the baserunner that turns out to be the go-ahead run, and that go-ahead sticks, you get the L. It's not so easy to get the W; it depends so much on the rest of the team.

Take Scott Baker for example. On Friday, he pitched brilliantly, going seven innings without giving up a run and leaving the game with a 5-run lead. He must have felt pretty good about himself as he sipped his Gatorade in the bottom of the 7th -- as well he should have. And then he probably choked on that Gatorade as he watched Alex Burnett, Dusty Hughes, and Jim Hoey parade through to piss away the lead. Scott Downs, who faced two batters, got the W because he happened to throw the last pitch before the half-inning when the Angels scored their sixth run. Scott went home with a homely "No Decision" for his efforts. That's all he deserved because he couldn't get his bullpen to pitch well.

On Saturday, both Anthony Swarzak and Jered Weaver sparkled as they pitched eight and nine scoreless innings, respectively. However, neither one would take home a W, as they simply couldn't make their teammates score runs. Alex Burnett got it, because he was able to will that winning run in the 10th. Fortunately for Swarzak, his No Decision wasn't as homelys as Baker's because at least his team won. Poor Hisanori Takahashi had to wear the L, and he wasn't even on the mound when the Twins went ahead.

Then Carl Pavano was going for his 100th career W on Sunday. This was his sixth try at that golden stat. Now, to be honest, in some of those tries, he didn't pitch well enough to actually earn that W. However, on Sunday, he probably did, except he just didn't have the ability to make his fielders behind him make routine outs. If he had, well, who knows.... But, instead, he takes home another ugly L.

~~~

DL Report:

The Twins have placed RHP Joe Nathan on the 15-day DL with elbow and forearm soreness. This is probably an expected condition as a result of his Tommy John surgery. The forearm flexor muscle has to be pulled apart during the ligament replacement, and can be easily irritated if the patient works very hard during rehabilitation, which Joe did. An MRI showed only inflammation, and no other damage, so he and the Twins are hopeful that two weeks' rest will do the trick.

(Don't worry, he's not as deformed as this paper doll suggests. I'm at the lake this weekend, and I'm borrowing my nephew's computer. It only has Paint for photo editing, and only one of those lame touch pad things for a mouse. This was way harder to do than it looks. Although the Popeye forearms and lack of wrists are kind of funny.)

The Twins purchased the contract of LHP Chuck James to replace Nathan. In order to make room on the 40-man roster for James, the Twins placed Tsuyoshi Nishioka on the 60-day DL. This transaction is paperwork-only as it does not change the expected return date for Nishioka.

Updates:

Matt Capps experienced some soreness in his forearm earlier in the week, but after resting a couple of days, he's fine.

Jose Mijares has been pitching in extended spring training games and could be activated Monday.

Joe Mauer is continuing to play in extended spring training games and increasing his activity. Gardy says he's doing and feeling well. As far as I know, the super-secret timetable for his return has still not been revealed.

Also watching:

Jim Thome needed a cortisone shot in his right shoulder that he tweaked while swinging hard on Saturday.

Francisco Liriano was pulled from Saturday's start due to shoulder soreness. According to ESPN1500's Phil Mackey, an MRI showed some inflammation and maybe a touch of tendinitis. They'll determine his status on Tuesday after his scheduled bullpen session.