Sunday, June 26, 2011


"Cort" is a word my son and his buddies invented. It's really a great word. It's a shortened and altered version of a sarcastic of course, but they've adapted it to mean so much more. It's a statement of frustration, annoyance, and disdain, and is expressed perfectly with a well-executed hand flail and eye roll. It's an efficient combination of harshness and brevity without actually swearing, and it can be elongated to fit the amount of contempt the situation requires. The best part is that it can actually be used as a number of parts of speech: as an interjection -- "Cort! The battery on my phone died again!"; as an adjective -- "When I realized I forgot my key, it was such a cort moment"; and as a descriptive noun -- "My day has been a giant cort!" Usually, if you're mad, you elongate the "or" part of the word; when you're exasperated, you keep it brief. I explain below:

Cort! Delmon Young is on the DL again.

Rene Tosoni gets sent down when Jim Thome is activated, then four hours after landing in Rochester, has to get on anther plane back to Minneapolis. Cort.

Jose Mijares, Joe Mauer, and Ron Gardenhire got into a pissing match in the press about pitch selection and execution. That was a cort thing to do.

The pitching was a cort, the defense was a cort, all three games were a cort.

Cort! The Brewers swept the Twins.


DL Report:

First the good news: Joe Nathan and Jim Thome were activated from the DL. Chuck James and Rene Tosoni were optioned back to Rochester to make room. However, hold that thought on Tosoni; he barely had time to do his laundry before...

... the Twins placed RF Delmon Young on the DL on Saturday with what they're calling a right ankle sprain. He is due to have an MRI on Monday to evaluate the full extent of the tissue damage; an X-ray right after he came out of the game indicated that there were no broken bones.

He injured it when his cleat got stuck in the scoreboard thingy on the right field wall as he was going after a fly ball (which ultimately resulted in an inside-the-park homerun). I did not see the play, but according to the approximately 497 tweets in my twitter timeline, he ran a bad route to the ball (cort!) and was a big, awkward, tumbly mess. Gardy said later that he lost the ball in the lights.

Rene Tosoni was recalled to take his place on the roster. Usually when a player is sent down to the minor leagues, he must remain there for 10 days, unless there's an injury. I sincerely hope that Mr. Tosoni suffers neither travel sickness nor jet lag.

On Friday, Justin Morneau announced that he was going to undergo surgery to remove a herniated disk fragment in his neck that is causing a pinched nerve. Since he's still technically on the DL with the wrist injury, there is no new transaction (hence the dual-injury paper doll).

He reports that he's had numbness in his left index finger since Spring Training. During his rehab of the wrist, he visited a specialist regarding his pinched nerve, at the urging of the team. The specialist recommended surgery now before the numbness becomes permanent.

He's expected to be out 6-8 weeks after the procedure, which is scheduled for Wednesday.

There will be a revolving door at first base, with Luke Hughes and Michael Cuddyer splitting most of the time staffing the position. However, Joe Mauer might start practicing there and may start at first from time to time.


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