Twins at Red Sox -- The Shapeshifting Strike Zone

Recap:

Wednesday -- Twins 2 - Red Sox 3
Thursday -- Twins 2 - Red Sox 6

Twins dustbunny series 0-2
Record: 24 -17

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We could have figured that the Twins would get swept in Fenway. Boston is a good team, especially at home. I'm not really upset about the losses; simply put, the Twins were beat by good pitching and good hitting.

But part of me wonders if the Twins would've had better pitching and better hitting if they could trust the strike zone. Both home plate umpires were not only inconsistent with the strike zone location, but they were also inconsistent with the pitchers. It really seemed like Sawx pitchers were getting calls that Twins pitchers weren't. It was worse Wednesday than Thursday, but I'd really prefer to never notice it.

So perhaps if Baker and Liriano didn't have to throw their pitches down the middle of plate, and if Morneau, Thome, and Cuddy didn't have to swing at absolutely every pitch, well ... who knows?

I'm not going to say that the umpiring was blatantly unfair. And I'm not going to say it cost the Twins the games. But everyone would just be happier with a consistent, fair, and predictable strike zone.

And maybe I'm just being cranky. In fact, that's entirely possible.

By the way, I think Youk has surpassed Manny as my least favorite player.

Twins at Tigers -- Expecting Excellence (and Not Always Getting It)

Recap:
Tuesday -- Twins 2 - Tigers 0
Wednesday -- Twins 6 - Tigers 11 (!)
Thursday -- Twins 0 - Tigers 3

Twins drop series 1-2 (first dropped series and first two-game losing streak all season)

Record: 14 - 8

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Generally speaking, sports fans expect excellence from their teams. If not, then what's the point? Passion is part of the bargain. The word "fan" itself proves it; it's short for "fanatic." Therefore, dispassionate people can't really be called "fans"; if they like sports at all, they're merely admirers or connoisseurs, right?

So, what's my point? Well, part of the passion-pact is that we fans expect excellence from our team. Yeah, pretty much all the time. It's the deal -- you play well, I'll be happy; you suck, I'll be unhappy. Simple. All I ask is that everyone does his job -- excellently.

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Fransisco Liriano
So, how excellent was he on Tuesday? Wow. And the best part? It's still kind of unexpected -- we're still waiting for last year's version of Frankie to show himself. But, for the third start in a row, he sparkled. It was a work of art.

Seth Stohs asked on his Facebook page something like (I'm paraphrasing because I'm too lazy to go back and look it up) "can we finally say the 2006 version of Liriano is back?" To which I replied something like (paraphrasing again; lazy again, er, still) "Who's to say we even want the 2006 version of Liriano? That guy wasn't a smart pitcher and because he always wanted to overpower batters, he hurt himself. The 2010 version is a much better, and much smarter pitcher. It looks like he trusts his stuff, and his catcher, much more. He seems calmer and more confident. Leave the 2006 version in the past. I like the 2010 version better. I hope he can keep it up."

In fact, Eric Karabell on ESPN's Baseball Today podcast predicted Liriano will be the AL Cy Young Award winner. Now, I'm not quite ready to go that far, but I'm sure having fun watching him.

~~~

Denard Span
Sometimes a man displays excellence off the field. And sometimes a man displays his excellence in how he responds to a less-than-excellent moment. On Tuesday, Denard lost his cool because the umpire, Paul Emmel, was not doing his job excellently. Denard argued balls and strikes and then threw his bat in frustration. And because of it, he was ejected from the game, which lead to some interesting defensive replacements.

Now, many passionate Twins fans were quick to forgive Span; Emmel's strike zone was ridiculous. But it was still a bad moment for Denard, and he wasn't proud of it. But the excellent part came after the game: he apologized to the umpiring crew, issued an apology to the press, and apologized on Twitter. He was perfectly contrite and he promised to try to avoid doing that again.

~~~

Luke Hughes
It didn't take long for him to display a nice little outburst of excellence. In his first Major League at bat, he deposited a fastball into the right-field seats. The last time a Twin homered in his first Major League at bat was Andre David in 1984. Excellent!

~~~

Jesse Crain
So, there's a reason a lot of people call Jesse "Crain-wreck." I know he can be excellent. I've seen him be excellent. But when he's not excellent, he's a looooong way away from excellent. And Wednesday, he and excellent were miles apart.

I know he was trotted out in a difficult situation. I know that Scott Baker and Pat Neshek weren't exactly excellent themselves. But, damn, watching Crain was just plain painful.

~~~

Carl Pavano
He was excellent on Thursday. Too bad he wasn't excellent enough, and Dontrelle Willis (of all people) was excellenter. And too bad the Twins bats weren't excellent at all.

~~~

Umpires
For the second series in a row, and third time in a week, the umpires kind of took the concept of excellence and sent it to the showers.

• On Saturday (at Kansas City), umpire Greg Gibson called Scott Podsednik out at 2nd to end the game when JJ Hardy bobbled the ball and threw to Orlando Hudson clearly after Podsednik reached. A game should never be decided on such a horrible call.
• On Tuesday, umpire Paul Emmel, who early in the game enforced a reasonable strike zone, suddenly started calling very obvious outside balls as strikes. He was awfully quick to eject Span for arguing. Now there will always be bad balls/strikes calls, but actually changing the entire strike zone in the middle of the game is not cool.
• On Wednesday, umpire Paul Emmel (again!) called an awesome running catch and subsequent drop by Denard Span a no-catch. Span clearly took about three steps with the ball in his glove before he dropped it as he exchanged it to his throwing hand. Emmel defended his call by quoting the part of the rule that says the player should "hold the ball long enough to prove that he has complete control." Umm. Three steps is a pretty long time. But ultimately, the umpires admitted that they lost sight of the play. Again, not cool. And I'm absolutely convinced that it changed the game against the Twins.

I know umpiring is a human job, and humans make mistakes. But this recent lack of excellence from umpires it getting almost strange. It's also generating a lot of buzz regarding expanding instant replay in baseball. I tweeted my response to that idea:

Unfortunately, the umpires may leave us no choice. It may come to be that instant replay is the lesser of two evils. Sad, really. It's time that Major League Baseball demands more excellence from all umpires.

A's is for ...

Monday: Twins 2 - Oakland 3
Tuesday: in progress (final: Twins 13 - Oakland 2)

Yesterday, I really wanted to give Nick Blackburn a hug (ok, I can't really think of a time when I don't want to give Nick Blackburn a hug, but even more so yesterday). It kind of sucked that his first pitch was smacked for a homerun. I can imagine that put him in a bad mood from the get go. I know it put me in a bad mood from the get go. But he wound up pitching pretty well, and went eight innings. A little more run support would've been nice.

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I have to keep reminding myself that yesterday's loss wasn't the end of the world. For some reason, some losses are harder to take than others; I don't know why that one was. Was it because the A's are so awful that we really should win? Was it because I disagreed with the umpire for about three-quarters of the game? Was it because the Twins looked so blah? Was it because the White Sox were playing, and beating, the Mariners to take the lead in the division? Was it because I think I can play left-field better than Delmon Young? Was it because Brendan Harris really needed to take the stinking bat off his shoulder?

Yeah, pretty much all that.

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Well, crappola. Here we go again with giving up a lead-off homerun again. STOP IT!

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Speaking of disagreeing with umpires, I have some things to say...

Last night: How do you call Joe Mauer out on strikes? Don't you know who he is? He's Joe Freaking Mauer! He doesn't take strike three. He knows the strike zone better than you do, moron.

Tonight: Wow! I respectfully request that you give my pitcher that call. I mean, if Justin Morneau can't reach it, and you're calling it a strike, I bet Kevin Slowey would appreciate that same advantage.

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So the Twins' preferred hand specialist must be enjoying the job security afforded him by the boys. Poor Adam "Adam" Everett got plunked in the hand by a foul ball while he was sitting innocently in the dugout. I'm telling you... Oven Mitts for everyone.

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Botton 2nd: Nice jack, BuschMan! And nice RBI triple, D-Span!
Top 3rd: And sweeeet play, Li'l Nicky!

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Will someone please cast a hex/jinx/spell/curse on the White Sox? I mean seriously, they aren't really this good, are they?

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Bottom 3rd: Run Randy, run! Good job, Randy. Now go get some oxygen.

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Bottom 5th: Ha! Go-Go hit a Ho-Ho!

(I hope that didn't come across too creepy. I meant it in the most innocent way possible. Really.)

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Mid 7th: So with all the hitting, and the running, and the scoring and everything, the superhero of the game is K-Slo. Twelve Ks in seven innings. Nice job, honey. And nice game, guys.

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Blog Update: I'm going on a business trip for the rest of the week. I'll be back Sunday. Dear Twins, please please please, take care of the California teams, 'k?

Gawd, It's Good to Get Outta Bawston

Monday: Twins 0 - Sawx 1
Tuesday: Twins 5 - Sawx 6
Wednesday: Twins 5 - Sawx 18

Boston takes 3 game series (ouch)

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Ok, everyone's thinking it, so I'm just going to come out and shout it:

I f'ing HATE Manny Ramirez!!!!!!

He's ugly, he's cocky, he needs a haircut, he probably smells bad, ... did I mention he's ugly? Oh, and he abuses Twins pitching. Ugh.

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Speaking of hate, I think I get to hate the umpiring staff today. I didn't see the game, but I did listen to the radio. And according to John-n-Dazzle, it sounded like the umpires blew at least three calls in favor of the Sox -- the so-called triple play that wasn't, the fan interference, and the should've-been infield fly rule. And it didn't sound like they were questionable calls; they were flat out wrong. No wonder Gardy was fuming.

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Whew, all this hating is way too negative. What the Twins need is some relaxation and levity in order to recover so they can go after the Tigers. I've written up some instructions:

Players' Instructions for Recovery:

1. Call room service and order the following items:
   ■ Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime^TM tea
   ■ Chicken Noodle Soup
   ■ Large Hot Fudge Sundae (Optional: with sprinkles)


2. Change into your most cozy jammies or sweats.


3. Take two Advil.


4. Order a pay-per-view comedy movie such as Spaceballs or Airplane
   OR
   Watch re-runs of a comedy television show such as Family Guy.


5. Enjoy your meal.


6. Tuck yourself into bed plenty early, and wake up fully rested and in a good mood ready to conquer another day.

Important: Do not come in contact with SportsCenter or Baseball Tonight or read the copy of USA Today that will be outside your door in the morning.

Troubleshooting: If the above procedure does not work, ask the trainer to use the Super-secret Men In Black Memory Erasing Pen.

The cool thing about this procedure is that it also works on distraught Twins fans, too. Except for the calling Room Service part. But maybe you can see if your spouse/sweetie/child is willing to accomodate you.

Oh, and if anyone knows how I can get myself one of those Super-secret Men In Black Memory Erasing Pens, please let me know.