Keeper Baseball Cliches

Normally I hate cliches. I threw a dirty look at a coworker who said "in the loop." I rolled my eyes at a CEO who praised someone for "pushing the envelope." I have chided my children when they claim to "think outside the box." I have complained about a talk-radio host who couldn't stop repeating "at the end of the day." I feel so strongly about it, I have another blog.

Baseball cliches are a different story. Now, I don't really like the baseball cliches that have "crossed-over" to everyday language (e.g. "he stepped up to the plate"). But the cliches that are strictly about baseball...well, those are special. I love those cliches. I know exactly what's going on when someone "paints the corner" or "hits a grand salami" (although I will never like "that's a good piece of hitting" because it's such a stupid phrase).

But a good baseball cliche is only as good as who's saying it and who he's saying it about. So I made a list of phrases I want our favorite broadcasters (Dick-n-Bert and John-n-Dazzle-n-Blackjack) to say so often, they become cliches.

• Runner goes...throw down to second...SAFE!...Gomez steals another base.
• A swing and a miss...Slowey gets him on a breaking ball.
• Hit toward the hole...Oh!...Punto dives for it...throws to second...on to first...in time, double play!
• Nathan pulled the string on that one got him with a sweeping curve...buckled the batter with that breaking ball. [EDIT: Mr. or Ms. Anonymous informed me that "pulled the string" refers to a changeup. I don't think Nathan has a changeup, or if he does, I like his curveball better. So I changed it. Learn something new every day.]
• Hit well...it's going...it's gone...touch 'em all, Justin Morneau!
• Inning over...Perkins sits them down in order.
• He squares to bunt...it's a good one...pitcher fields it...throws to first...SAFE at first! Casilla gets another bunt hit.
• Good morning, good afternoon, good night...Liriano strikes him out on three pitches.
• He gives it a ride...base hit...Mauer goes 4 for 4
• There'll be a play at the plate...throw from right...Redmond reaches...OUT!...Cuddyer throws him out at home.
• It splits the gap...one run in...another run in...Young has another 2-run double.
• Strike-out number 10...Baker has another outing with double-digit strike-outs.
• He's tracking...back...back...he leaps up...CAUGHT!...oh my!...Denard Span makes a fantastic leaping catch.
• Strike three called...Guerrier gets him with the curve.
• Down the line...Crede ranges...throws from his knees...OUT!
• Another gem...Blackburn has a shut-out.
• This one's got a chance...it's up...HOMERUN!...Jason Kubel hits another one.
• Slow roller to second...inning over...Crain get out of a small jam.
• Twins add on another insurance run.
• Twins win.
• Twins add to their winning streak.
  

10 Business Cliches That Need to Die

No Twins news for awhile, so I'll talk about something else that's been bugging me. And if you pay close attention, I'll work in something remotely baseball-related.

On Friday, I sat in a meeting led by the CEO of my company. I believe him to be an intelligent man and a good business leader, but by the end of the hour-long meeting, I was ready to scratch out my eyeballs. He loves his business clichés. He used every one of the ones I listed below...Every. One.

I know he's not alone. The business world is adept at taking a catchphrase or buzzword and overusing it until anyone who hears it wants to hurl. And, because of that, they've also become meaningless noise or, really, a pause in the talk to collect one's thoughts.

I propose we start a coalition to end the cliché madness. This is a call-to-arms, people!

My List:

1. "Push the envelope"
2. "Think outside the box"
3. "At the end of the day"
4. "Have an impact on" (when the speaker means "have an effect on")*
5. "When the rubber hits the road"
6. "Step up to the plate"**
7. "Work smarter, not harder"
8. "Paradigm shift"
9. "24/7" (especially when it's not literal)
10. "Team player"

* "Impact" means "collision" and nothing more. You can have a metaphorical impact, such as "my third-grade teacher impacted my life," but it has to be huge, as if the third-grade teacher collided with your life path and changed it.

** The only people who get to say "step up to the plate" are ones talking about a baseball or softball player who is doing just that.

And I'm sure there are plenty more. Add more to the comments section of you'd like. And, please, do your part to squash these and other nonsense phrases.