Twins at Rays: Baking Cookies

Recap:
Thursday: Rays 4 - Twins 3
Friday: Rays 5 - Twins 2
Saturday: Rays 4 - Twins 3
Sunday: Rays 2 - Twins 4

Record: 5 - 10

A Story:

Some of the Twins players got together and decided to make cookies for everybody. They especially wanted to make some for Gardy because he had been feeling kind of grumpy lately, and every one knows that if Gardy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Carl Pavano offered to make them. He knew that Gardy was a fan of delicious Nutella, so he researched recipes on the internet and found a really good one for Nutella cookies*. He went to the store and bought the ingredients, got out the mixer, and got baking. He got one panful in the oven, and when he pulled them out, they were amazing. He got a second panful ready.

"I've got to leave now," Carl said suddenly. Jason Kubel asked him why, but he just replied "I gotta go," and he abruptly left.

"Great," Jason said, "now who's going to finish these cookies?"

Joe Nathan stepped into the kitchen and said "I'll do it. I'll finish them." And then Felipe Lopez, Ben Zobrist, and Matt Joyce mischievously scampered through the kitchen and knocked the pan out of Joe's hand and on to the floor, ruining the rest of the dough.

"It's ok," said Matt Capps. "There are just enough cookies to make Gardy happy until we can make more, right? I'll just take these to him." Matt then put all the cookies neatly on a platter and started to leave for Gardy's office.

And then, out of nowhere, Johnny Damon came in and stole all the cookies.

The next day, Nick Blackburn tried to make more cookies, but after he started off well, everything just started going wrong. He broke some egg shells into the dough, the flour poofed up into his face when he added it to the mixer, and he realized too late that he'd forgotten the baking soda. The whole group decided to screw it and try again the next day.

The following day, Scott Baker decided he'd give baking the Nutella cookies a shot. So he rolled up his sleeves and got to work. Everything went smoothly and it seemed like he'd be able to make several panfuls. After two panfuls were done, he realized he was too tired to finish.

Joe Nathan again offered to finish. Since Joe has a great history of finishing cookies, Baker was confident that it would be ok despite Joe's last attempt.

However, right as Joe was bending over to place the pan of cookie dough into the oven, Ben Zobrist ran into the kitchen and startled him so badly that the parchment paper slid right off the cookie sheet and landed dough side down right into the oven, again ruining the dough and making a huge mess in the oven. Joe was eventually able to clean up the mess, but when he wasn't looking, BJ Upton and Casey Kotchman came in and stole some of the cookies. Now, again, there weren't enough cookies for everyone.

Jose Mijares told everyone to stop worrying and that there were still enough cookies for Gardy. After Jose sampled some of the cookies, he shared a few with Sam Fuld. The guys started scolding him, so he placed the cookies neatly on a platter and started off for Gardy's office.

And then, out of nowhere, Johnny Damon came in and stole all the cookies.

On the final day before the guys had to leave town, they wanted so badly to make these amazing Nutella cookies. It was Brian Duensing's turn to try his hand at baking. He called all the guys in a group and explained to them that, while he is a capable cookie-maker, he really needed everyone to pull together and help as much as possible.

They did, all the cookies were made, and they were amazing. Gardy was pleased.

~~~

After blowing two saves over the weekend, Joe Nathan, together with Ron Gardenhire and Rick Anderson, decided it would be best for the team, and for Joe, to take him out of the closer role for a while. Matt Capps will close, and Joe will pitch in less stressful situations.

To accommodate this, the Twins are rearranging the bullpen. They have called up RHP Jim Hoey from AAA Rochester, presumably to be the 7th/8th inning set-up guy, and sent RHP Jeff Manship down.

I can't objectively talk about this move. Nathan's my guy, so I tend to think with my heart about him. Hopefully he can work out the kinks quickly and he can re-take his rightful role.

~~~

DL Report Updates:

Joe Mauer is still battling the flu. He's lost about 12 pounds since Thursday and he still doesn't have much of an appetite. It's still not clear if his leg weakness is related to the viral infection. The team is on its way to Baltimore where Joe's specialist practices, so he'll likely get checked out in a day or two. Then he'll need to work on getting stronger.

We're also watching Justin Morneau. He missed Sunday's game due to flu-like symptoms, but Kelsie Smith of the Pioneer Press reports that it's not the same thing Mauer's got.

~~~

Another clever Twins commercial. This time with Jim Thome.



~~~
*Yes, these Nutella cookies exist, and they are, indeed, amazing. Also, the part about the parchment paper slipping and flipping dough all over the inside of the oven is a true story, well, except for Ben Zobrist in the kitchen.

Twins at Rays: Alternate Universe

Recap:
Monday -- Twins 2 -  Rays 4
Tuesday -- Twins 4 - Rays 6
Wednesday -- Twins 2 - Rays 1 (13)
Thursday -- Twins 8 - Rays 6

Record: 61-48, 1.5 games back

Earlier today, I listened to a podcast about quantum theory and parallel universes (totally over my head, by the way), but if you think about it, this series seems to have "anti-Twins" and "just odd" written all over it.

• Carl Pavano, who had been the go-to-guy to end a losing streak by pitching brilliantly, ended a winning streak by pitching dully. 
• Rays rookie pitcher Jeremy Hellickson pitched like a big-league Cy Young Award winner, then gots sent to AAA 17 minutes after his game.
• The Twins pitching staff, who coming into the series had given up the fewest walks in the MLB, gave up a crapload of walks.
• The Twins defense, which is usually pretty solid, looked like it was playing on quicksand.
• Scott Baker, who had been struggling, pitched crazy-amazingly.
• Kevin Slowey, who had been stalling on the mound and shaking off the catcher lately, pitched quickly, efficiently, and crazy-amazingly.
• The Twins bullpen, which had been great lately, blew leads in two games.
• The two games in which the Twins bullpen blew leads, the Twins won.
• The Twins were on the road, and they caught some breaks.
• Jon Rauch, an obviously-grown man, contracted a (usually) childhood virus (hand, foot, and mouth disease).
• The Twins, who had spent the last decade trying to get out of a domed stadium and had finally succeeded, saved the series split by the grace of the domed stadium ground rules.
• Jason Kubel, probably the shiest guy on the team, has totally earned the right to strut his stuff. Picture this: as the Twins fly to Cleveland, Kubes walking up and down the plane aisle, shaking his booty and singing "I'm a model you know what I mean, And I do my little turn on the catwalk, Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah, I do my little turn on the catwalk..."

Rays at Twins: Long Weekend; Loooooong Series

Recap:
Thursday -- Rays 5 - Twins 4 (10)
Friday -- Rays 1 - Twins 2
Saturday -- Rays 8 - Twins 6
Sunday -- Rays 7 - Twins 4

Record: 44-38, 1/2 game behind Detriot

I hope everyone had a swell long holiday weekend. As a lake lover, I had a wonderful weekend. As a Twins lover, not so much.

I went to Thursday's game, and after demolishing my ankle before the game started (safety tip: if you're old and clumsy like me, don't attempt to climb down to the lower row by stepping on the seat below -- it's likely to fold up with your ankle still in it and entangle you like a bear trap, and then your son will refuse to help you but instead take a picture of you while you're hollering in agony), I had a blast! For 8 and 2/3 innings. Then when Rauch walked Crawford to get to Longoria, I literally felt something in my gut. I knew what was about to happen. And I didn't like it. Alas, my gut was right. And Longoria hit that double that blew the save.

Friday's game was a lot of fun. I always love a good pitchers' duel, and Price and Baker didn't disappoint. And the offense squeaked out just enough hits to win it. Which makes me wonder...it seems like the Twins can always beat good aces -- Price, Santana, Halladay -- so why don't they just pretend all pitchers are aces and go ahead and beat everybody?

So this series was kind of a dud. I don't really like 4-game series to begin with. Add to it that it was on a holiday weekend when I was also doing a lot of other fun things, it really kind of made it hard to watch.

The offense was satisfactory -- any time your teams scores 4 or more runs, they should win the game. They always kept fighting, too; they consistently managed to get the tying run to the plate in the late innings. And, for the most part, the starters did their jobs (*ahem* Blackie, you can do better -- keep working on it, pal). So, it was the bullpen that had a hard time. They've been so good; I hope this is just a hiccup.

I have to say that I'm quite proud of Jim Thome for taking his spot at tenth on the home run list. I would've been happy for him regardless of what uniform he wore; it's extra fun that he had "Twins" across his chest. I admit that watching that Killebrew "atta boy" message did bring a tear to my eye.

I'm also proud of Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau for their All Star Game selections. I think it's pretty cool that a non-coast team has two starters -- and deservedly so. I'm also proud of Delmon for his extra-ballot selection. Make sure you vote for him, because, admit it, you hate Youkilis and Swisher as much as I do.

From the Rays to the Blue Jays. I don't know if it means anything, but I've noticed a inordinate number of actual blue jays in my neighborhood lately. So, you know, Go Twins!

Dos and Don'ts

At least the Twins were able to scratch one win on the road. Yup, just one. In case there were any doubts, while I am grateful for one win, I really wanted more than that.

Recap:
Friday: Twins 3 - Rays 5
Saturday: Twins 2 - Rays 5
Sunday: Twins 3 - Rays 2

Once again, thank goodness for Nick Blackburn. He pitched, well, like he's supposed to. However, I suspect that part of the reason it seems like he's so good is because he follows Liriano and Baker in the rotation. Sometimes good impressions are relative.

Oh, and the bullpen did a nice job, for the most part. I like that.

~~~~~~~~~

After Saturday's game, Francisco Liriano indicated that he has a hard time knowing what to do at times. That's not good. Well, to prevent any further confusion, I've made a Do and Don't list for him and other pitchers who are struggling.

Do:
Trust your catchers
Be sure you're never late
Throw strikes
Keep the ball down
Eat your vegetables
Make sure you're getting up over your front leg
Trust your catchers
Follow through
Have confidence
Get plenty of sleep
Have a game plan
Establish your dominance with the fast ball
Know how to get the batters out
Trust your catchers
Buckle your seat belt
Stay within yourself
Avoid the big inning
Put your dirty laundry in the hamper
Have fun out there
Paint the corners
Throw inside when you have to
Brush your teeth twice daily
And most importantly, trust your catchers

Don't:
Be a doofus
Listen to Wang Chung

For Every Hello, There's a Goodbye

So it was fun to see our friend Barty again, but now he and his team are gone. And it wasn't such a bad visit -- at least for the hosts.

Recap:
Monday: Twins 1 - Rays 7
Tuesday: Twins 4 - Rays 3
Wednesday: Twins 8 - Rays 3
Twins take series 2 - 1

I like the Rays; in addition to Barty and Garza, they also have Evan Longoria, who is fun to watch and darned cute. They seem like a great team -- kind of Twins-like I guess. And anyone who can help keep the Yankees and Red Sox out of the World Series is A-ok in my book. So, now that they've left town, I wish them all the best of luck -- especially when they're playing our division rivals and those Yankees and Red Sox.

~~~~~~

Speaking of saying hello, guess who comes back tomorrow. Oh, you know.


Photo from Minnesota Twins website

But, that means we have to say goodbye to someone. And that's not so fun.

We might have to say goodbye to Jose Morales. That would be a bummer because in the short time he's been here, he's managed to wiggle his cute little butt into our hearts, what with all the hitting and the trying really hard to throw out runners and call good games.

Or we might have to say goodbye, at least temporarily, to Red-Dog. That would be a bummer because that would mean putting him on the DL, which is like an insult to him. He's been so good and fun and helpful that no one wants to insult him.

What to do...what to do...?

~~~~~~

Speaking of Red-Dog, he recently had an MRI on his shoulder, and he claims they found a Bud Light in there. I don't doubt it for a second. If anyone has a beer in his shoulder, it's him. In fact, I was able to obtain a peek at his results.



I'm just wondering what they'd find if they scanned his knee. Nachos?

~~~~~~

One more goodbye: the month of April. It wasn't bad; it wasn't great -- in fact, it was .500. Here's hoping saying hello to May leads to much better than that.