Angels at Twins: Royal Love

Recap:
Friday -- Angels 2 - Twins 7
Saturday -- Angels 9 - Twins 3
Sunday -- Angels 0 - Twins 4

Record: 72-52; 5 games ahead

I'm in a loving mood this morning. So I thought I'd spread some around...

Brian Duensing -- Aww, honey. It looks like you're all growed up to be a real pitcher. Also, it made my heart sing when you tried so valiantly to come in for the ninth. I'm so proud.
Jim Thome -- Another triple -- your second of the year. I love triples. It's so cute when you have to run.
Jason Kubel -- Ok, so home runs aren't quite as adorable as triples, I do still love them when you hit them. So keep it up.
Any Lefthanded Person Not Named Glen Perkins -- I love you because I honestly think you might be able to help the bullpen. With Mahay and Mijares hurt, and Glen Perkins being (ack) Glen Perkins, you've got a real shot.
Scott Baker -- Rocking the goatee and pitching shutout innings. Very sexy indeed.
Danny Valencia -- That home run was pretty impressive. And you're so cute, I could just give you a big squeeze (in a totally non-creepy way, of course).
Michael Cuddyer -- You not only fought off like 692 pitches from Jered Weaver -- some of which are one you typically strike out on -- and then finally hitting a juicy double, you also sacrificed your ego and intentionally looked silly on the basepaths so that Kubel could score from first. Also, did you see what you did to Weaver's face? I thought his forehead was going to burst. Bonus love for that.
Kevin Slowey -- Get well soon, honey. Again.

And, last but not least, The Kansas City Royals -- You took an excruciatingly cruel scheduling snafu against the White Sox, and beat them two of three. In extra innings. For all three games. All within 24 hours. Thank you.

We're in Cali, So Let's Do An Award Show

Recap:
Monday -- LAA 6 - Twins 3
Tuesday -- LAA 3 - Twins 5
Wednesday -- LAA 2 - Twins 4
Thursday -- LAA 1 - Twins 10 (!)

Twins take series 3-1

~~~

Did you see that?! What I wrote up there?! Yes! It's true! The Twins took a series with the Angels! In Anaheim! A four-game series at that! That never happens! (Ok, enough with the exclamation points -- but it is very exciting.)

This series was so deliciously surprising that I've decided to come up with a number of "awards" to celebrate.

Let's start out with the obvious:
For suddenly stating, with authority, "screw small ball, I want to send this flying," I present the Boom-boom Awards to the following players:

• JJ Hardy (2)
• Brendan Harris
• Joe Mauer
• Justin Morneau (2)
• Jim Thome  
• Delmon Young (2)

Nice work, gentlemen. Moving on:
For the uncanny ability to hurt himself on just about every plate appearance, I present the Most In Need of a Big Roll of Bubble-Wrap and Probably Some Ice Too to -- Orlando Hudson

Yeah, man, you gotta protect your kneecaps -- and your skull. Ok next, we have:
For making his major league debut in front of his family and having a 1-2-3 inning, all while visibly shaking, I present the Making Your Momma Happy award to -- Alex Burnett

Aww. It was such a touching moment. And it was his mom's birthday too. What a nice boy. Now we have:
For being everywhere in the infield that he needed to be, including left-center field, and having some serious ups, I present the This Series is Brought to You by the Letter "D" Award to -- JJ Hardy.

Wow. All I can say is wow. Next, we have:

For looking absolutely foolish on Monday, and then looking absolutely brilliant on Thursday, I present the Two-Faced Comedy/Tragedy Thingy Award to -- Jose Mijares.

For the record, Jose, we Twins fans prefer the brilliant. Ok, moving on:

For making me literally ask the television, "umm...what? Really?", I present the Things I Thought I'd Ever Hear A Twins Announcer Say Awards to:

• "Delmon Young takes over for Jason Kubel as a defensive replacement."
• "Jim Thome scores from second on a single."

Stunning, aren't they? Ok, now:

For really looking like someone unlike he's ever looked before, I present the You Look Different, Maybe You Are Different Award to -- Delmon Young

What's up, man? Hitting homers and contributing good defense? Who knew you had it in you? And, we have:

For caving in to some unwritten rule that Californians can't be bothered with attending day games, I present the Bronx Cheer to -- MLB and LA Angels schedulers.

Yeah, did it really need to be a 4-game series? And did that fourth game really need to be a night game? Thanks to you, we have a bunch of sleepy Twins expected to take on the Chicago White Sox. And finally, we have:

For enduring a red-eye flight after a four-game series to check in to their hotel rooms at some ungodly time in the morning and then playing a division rival later that day, I present the Golden Pillow Award to the entire Minnesota Twins team. Sleep fast and throw some business to your favorite coffee shop, boys.

That Was Deflating

After a nice sweep of the Evil Uglies earlier in the week, the Twins and their momentum deflated pretty quickly, and they became the dustbunnies. Oh, and they're below .500 again.

Recap:
Friday: Twins 5 - Angels 11
Saturday: Twins 6 - Angels 11
Sunday: Twins 4 - Angels 13

(52 - 53, 3rd place, 3 games back)

Ga! It's awful having to type all those double-digit numbers for the opponent. You'd think that scoring four or more runs in a game would at least keep the Twins close. Nope.

So, not only was the entire series a big pthpthpthtphptht, but every little thing was a slow leak. Every time a positive thing happened for the Twins, the good feeling immediately floated away because of a much larger negative thing.

On Friday:

• Joey hits a 3-run homer, Nicky hits an RBI triple, and D-Span hits an RBI double; Blackie and Matty combine to let them tie it up.
• Matty and Nathanator do a nice job keeping it a tie game through the 9th and 10th; Keppel, Crain, and Dickey combine to allow six (!) runs in the top of the 11th, with help from Brendan's tangled feet at the worst possible time.
  

On Saturday:

• Red-Dog and Go-Go hit RBI extra base hits to tie the game; Swarzy allows four singles and three runs in the next half-inning.
• R.A. pitches two nice innings to keep the Twins within two; then starts his third inning of work with a single, a throwing error, a walk, and a homer -- and then Keppel relieves him and quickly gives up two homers.
  

On Sunday:

• D-Span makes an awesome grab for the first out in the 4th; Perkins allows a base-hit to the next batter who eventually scores.
• O-Cab hits his first homer as a Twin; Perkins coughs up 5 runs in the next half-inning.
  

The whole thing felt like trying to blow up a balloon with a hole in it. It gave me a headache.
~~~

Up next:
An off day, then a road trip through Cleveland.

I don't recommend taking the Indians too lightly. Their team has been devastated by a bunch of trades, so the young guys starting are hungry and fearless -- they have nothing to lose. And, they just took 2 of 3 from the Tigers (and the one they lost was in extra innings).

From the Road

Sure, the Twins are on the road, but so am I. So forgive me because, though I'm checking scores and stuff in the evenings, I'm not really paying attention for the games.

Recap: (Here's what I know without looking it up...)
Thursday: Could've won, but Joe Nathan had an uncharacteristically bad day and blew the save
Friday: Liriano gave up a lot of runs and Twins lost
Saturday: I only saw the score, and I don't know anything else. Angels had a lot; Twins had a little.
Sunday: I saw that Morneau hit a couple homers, and Nicky Punto was (relatively) an RBI machine. Twins had a lot; Angels had a little.

It is what it is. Pitching needs to get better. blah blah blah. Nothing we've never heard before.

So, I'll keep it short. After a long day of tourism, I'm currently enjoying a margarita by the campfire.

And I'll be on vacation all week. I'll check in from time to time, but I can't promise anything interesting.

Here's a picture to show you where we are:

First Sweep of 2009

Well, that's better. A lot better.

Recap:
Friday: Twins 11 - LAA 9
Saturday: Twins 9 - LAA 2
Sunday: Twins 3 - LAA 1

You know what that means, don't you? That's right, the Twins swept the Angels. And because it's the first sweep of the year, it's time I dusted off my super blinged-out broom to celebrate. (That is, if one really can dust off a broom.)



Very exciting. Only special sweeps get the blinged-out broom; I'm hoping for many more reasons to use this.