Childhood Hazards

We all had a good chuckle (and by "chuckle," I mean "eye-roll") when we heard that Anthony Swarzak cracked a couple ribs when he and a teammate engaged in what the team officially calls "horseplay." Now, we're hearing that Scott Diamond's bone chips -- you know, the ones that required surgery in December -- occurred because he was jumping rope.

It makes one wonder whether players participating in common children's activities is perhaps unlucky.

Fortunately, I am not the only one who is concerned by this. We here at k-bro's baseball blog have been granted exclusive access to the following directive.*

To: All Minnesota Twins Players and Prospects
From: The Minnesota Twins Training and Medical Staff
Re: Off-field Hazards

It has come to our attention that some players are engaging in risky behavior which has potential to result in injury. In order to mitigate this risk, we have deemed it necessary to mandate that the following activities and items are forbidden unless properly supervised by a member of the coaching or training staff.

• Wrestling, tickling, tag, ghost in the graveyard, and other horseplay. It's all fun and games until someone cracks his ribs.
• Jump rope, double-dutch, hopscotch, dodge ball, may poles, and other playground equipment. Again, it's all fun and games until someone needs bone chips removed.
• LEGO® bricks, Hot Wheels® cars, Barbie® doll shoes, jacks, and other tiny items. You don't know true debilitating pain until have stepped on one of these items. Also, imagine the beat-down you'd get if Gardy stepped on one of these and found out you left it on the floor.
• Nerf guns, darts, Red Ryder BB guns, tracer guns, bows and arrows, and other means to launch projectiles. It's a sure thing that if you play with these, you'll shoot your eye out.
• Water balloons, squirt guns, water pistols, bubbles, super soakers, and other means to make the floors slippery (celebratory champagne exempted). Wet floors can cause slips and falls which endanger tailbones.
• Video games, hand-held game devices, and other practically useless devices. Nothing irritates tendons and ligaments like repetitive stress disorders.
• Paper airplanes, coloring books, paper dolls, and other things with sharp edges. These things can cause paper cuts that can get seriously infected. Besides, if you play with a paper doll of yourself, that means you're already injured.  

We here on the training staff are certain that these preventative measures will help ensure an injury-free season.

So there you have it.

*Special thanks to Betsy and Babs for their help in obtaining this information. :)

Who Are These Guys, Anyway? Quick and Dirty 2013 Spring Training Guide

In less than a week, the Twins will officially open Spring Training camp. As of now, 66 players are expected to be there: 34 pitchers, 9 catchers (a lot of catchers needed for a lot of pitchers), 13 infielders, and 10 outfielders. There are a lot of bodies (I imagine the locker room might be a tad crowded), but there are also a lot of holes from 2012 to be filled. By the end of it, there will be 25 men ready to head north and face the Tigers on April 1.

Now, if you're as tired as I am of this miserable winter, you're really looking forward to listening to the Spring Training games once they start on February 23 (you may be especially excited if you're in the Twin Cities area because now that the radio broadcasts will be on FM you can finally get radio reception at work). So I've wrote up this handy-dandy list of all the names you'll hear.

40-Man Roster:

These are the guys most likely to land on the big league club. And those who don't will likely be next in line in case of injury or ineffectiveness. A few guys are on the 40-man simply because the front office wants to protect their future with the team -- removing them from the 40-man roster would expose them to waivers.

Guys We Know and Love (Maybe)

• Alex Burnett. RHP. Age 25. 2012: 67 games for the Twins.
• Jared Burton. RHP. Age 31. 2012: 64 games for the Twins.
• Drew Butera. C. Age 29. 2012: Red Wings and 42 games for the Twins.
• Jamey Carroll. IF. Age 38. 2012: 138 games for the Twins.
• Scott Diamond. LHP. Age 26. 2012: Red Wings and 27 starts for the Twins.
• Ryan Doumit. C/DH. Age 31. 2012: 134 games for the Twins.
• Brian Dozier. IF. Age 25. 2012: Red Wings and 84 games for the Twins.
• Brian Duensing. LHP. Age 25. 2012: 55 games (11 starts) for the Twins.
• Joe Mauer. C. Age 29. 2012: 147 games for the Twins.
• Justin Morneau. 1B. Age 31. 2012: 134 games for the Twins.
• Glen Perkins. LHP. Age 29. 2012: 70 games for the Twins.
• Trevor Plouffe. 3B. Age 26. 2012: Red Wings and 119 games for the Twins.
• Anthony Swarzak. RHP. Age 27. 2012: 44 games (5 starts) for the Twins. Will miss time due to cracked ribs.
• Josh Willingham. LF. Age 33. 2012: 145 games for the Twins.

Guys We Kind of Know As Long As We Didn't Stop Paying Attention Last Season

• Cole DeVries. RHP. Age 27. 2012: Red Wings and 17 games (16 starts) for the Twins.
• Eduardo Escobar. SS. Age 24. 2012: Red Wings, 36 games for the White Sox, and 14 games for the Twins. Acquired in the Liriano trade.
• Casey Fien. RHP. Age 29. 2012: Red Wings and 35 games for the Twins.
• Pedro Florimon. SS. Age 26. 2012: Rock Cats, Red Wings, and 43 games for the Twins.
• Liam Hendriks. RHP. Age 23. 2012: Red Wings and 16 starts for the Twins.
• Chris Herrmann. C. Age 25. 2012: Rock Cats and 7 games for the Twins.
• Darin Mastroianni. OF. Age 27. 2012: Rock Cats, Red Wings, and 77 games for the Twins.
• Chris Parmelee. 1B/RF. Age 24. 2012: Red Wings and 64 games for the Twins.
• Tyler Robertson. LHP. Age 25. 2012: Red Wings and 40 games for the Twins.

Guys From The Twins Minors

• Oswaldo Arcia. OF. Age 21. 2012: Miracle and Rock Cats. #93 of MLB's top 100 prospects.
• Joe Benson. OF. Age 24. 2012: GCL Twins, Miracle, Rock Cats, Red Wings (rehabbing injuries much of the season).
• Kyle Gibson. RHP. Age 25. 2012: rehabbing from Tommy John surgery. #49 in MLB's top 100 prospects.
• B.J Hermsen. RHP. Age 23. 2012: Miracle and Rock Cats.
• Pedro Hernandez. LHP. Age 23. 2012: AA and AAA of the White Sox organization, Red Wings. Acquired in the Liriano trade.
• Aaron Hicks. OF. Age 23. 2012: Rock Cats. #98 in MLB's top 100 prospects.
• Josmil Pinto. C. Age 23. 2012: Miracle and Rock Cats.
• Daniel Santana. IF. Age 22. 2012: Miracle.
• Caleb Thielbar. LHP. Age 26. 2012: Miracle, Rock Cats, and Red Wings.
• Michael Tonkin. LHP. Age 23. 2012: Snappers and Miracle.

Guys We Know If We Paid Attention to Other Teams

• Kevin Correia. RHP. Age 32. 2012: 32 games (28 starts) for the Pirates. Signed as a free agent.
• Mike Pelfrey. RHP. Age 29. 2012: rehabbing from Tommy John surgery (with the Mets). Signed as a free agent.
• Vance Worley. RHP. Age 25. 2012: 23 games for the Phillies. Acquired in the Revere trade from the Phillies.

Guys We Probably Don't Know But We Want to Welcome to the Twins Organization

• Trevor May. RHP. Age 23. 2012: AA in Phillies system. Acquired in Revere trade from the Phillies.
• Ryan Pressly. RHP. Age 24. 2012: A+ and AA in Red Sox system. Rule 5 draft from the Red Sox.
• Josh Roenicke. RHP. Age 30. 2012: 63 games for the Rockies. Claimed off waivers from the Rockies.
• Tim Wood. RHP. Age 30. 2012: AAA or Pirates system. Signed as a minor-league free agent.

Non-Roster Invitees:

While it's more likely that 40-man guys will break camp with the big-league club, these guys have earned the right to try to impress the decision-makers. A quick paperwork effort would make any of these guys a Twin. I predict one or two of these guys will impress enough to make it -- Jared Burton did it last year.

Guys We Know and Love (Maybe)

• Nick Blackburn. RHP. Age 30. 2012: Red Wings and Twins. Will miss time due to wrist surgery.

Guys We Know If We Didn't Stop Paying Attention Last Season

• Samuel Deduno. RHP. Age 29. 2012: Red Wings and Twins.
• Lester Oliveros. RHP. Age 24. 2012: Rock Cats, Red Wings, and Twins.
• Luis Perdomo. RHP. Age 28. 2012: Rock Cats, Red Wings, and Twins.
• Clete Thomas. OF. Age 29. 2012: Red Wings and Twins.
• Esmerling Vasquez. RHP. Age 29. 2012: Red Wings and Twins.
• P.J. Walters. RHP. Age 27. 2012: Red Wings and Twins.

Guys From The Twins Minors

• James Beresford. IF. Age 24. 2012: Rock Cats.
• Chris Colabello. 1B. Age 29. 2012: Rock Cats.
• Brian Dinkelman. OF. Age 29. 2012: Red Wings.
• Deolis Guerra. RHP. Age 23. 2012: Rock Cats and Red Wings.
• Kyle Knudson. C. Age 25. 2012: Snappers and Miracle.
• Danny Lehmann. C. Age 27. 2012: Rock Cats and Red Wings.
• Shairon Martis. RHP. Age 25. 2012: AA and AAA between Pirates and Twins systems.
• Wilkin Ramirez. OF. Age 27. 2012: Miracle, Rock Cats, and Red Wings.
• Dan Rohlfing. C. Age 23. 2012: Miracle and Rock Cats.
• Deibinson Romero. 3B. Age 26. 2012: Rock Cats.
• Anthony Slama. RHP. Age 29. 2012: Red Wings.

Guys We Know If We Pay Attention to Other Teams

• Rich Harden. RHP. Age 31. 2012: Injured (A's). Signed as a minor-league free agent.

Guys We Probably Don't Know But We Want to Welcome to the Twins Organization

• Bryan Augenstein. RHP. Age 26. 2012: AAA of Rays system. Signed as a minor-league free agent.
• Brandon Boggs. LF. Age 30. 2012: AAA of Pirates system. Signed as a minor-league free agent.
• Jeff Clement. 1B. Age 29. 2012: AAA and Pirates. Signed as a minor-league free agent.
• Eric Fryer. C. Age 27. 2012: AAA and Pirates. Signed as a minor-league free agent.
• Alex Meyer. RHP. Age 23. 2012: A and A+ of Nationals system. Acquired in the Span trade from the Nationals. #40 in MLB's top 100 prospects.
• Ray Olmedo. 3B. Age 31. 2012: AAA of White Sox system. Signed as minor-league free agent.
• Mark Sobolewski. 3B. Age 26. 2012: AA and AAA in Blue Jays system. Rule 5 draft from Blue Jays.

Goners:

Don't be looking for these guys. They're not going to be there.

• Scott Baker. RHP. Signed with the Cubs.
• Matt Capps. RHP. Signed a minor-league deal with the Indians.
• Matt Carson. OF. Signed with the Indians.
• Alexi Casilla. IF. Claimed off waivers by Orioles.
• Carlos Gutierrez. RHP. Claimed off waivers by Cubs.
• Jeff Manship. RHP. Signed with the Rockies.
• Tsuyoshi Nishioka. IF. Granted unconditional release and signed with a team in Japan.
• Carl Pavano. RHP. Unsigned free agent. Recovering from a splenectomy.
• Ben Revere. OF. Traded to Phillies.
• Denard Span. OF. Traded to Nationals.
• Kyle Waldrop. RHP. Signed with the Phillies.